Upfront

Sad
Aha - Take On Me

This past week, I met an wonderful guy who was so much into this alien! He really likes me alot, vise versa. We basically talked about every day. We were getting to know each other much better. He has a good attitude about life. He loves to bike ride and run. I was quite the opposite of him. I was never ever in sports; just an average alien.

It's ironic cos we spend so much of our waking hours at work...may ever have somethng to do with the fact that he is a very happy person and always look for the positive and best things. Like I said, "I am quite opposite of him." In a sense, I was negative about life, itself. I mostly see gray areas in my life; I came from an hard life. Life will always be hard for me no matter what.

Last night, I mentioned that I wished I was like that (positive upbeat attitude) but I don't see myself like that. I finally admitted I wasn't happy with my life. I haven't grown; I was at the same place. I basicly do nothing. I am an artist, not famous, but someday I will be. He offered to take me to SanFran, but I passed. Yes, I need to get away, but not at somebody's expense. A trip may energized my outlook on life. I just can't get pass the gray areas in life.

Earlier today, I made a decision about that special guy. Tonight, it was time to be upfront with him. The sooner, the better. Then he can look elsewhere for an relationship. We can always be friends. I sent him an email.

There was no sense of putting it off any longer. It was best to clear things before it goes any further beyond friendship. I won't except him to ever talk to me again. Life is taking chances. He still can meet someone else special. I told him many times that "no one understands me at all. I had that effect on peeps." That was the absolutely truth. It doesn't matter how long I was postitive. I was going quite well - healthwise. There will be others for us. I won't hold him for anything. That was probably the last time we will ever talk/email. He don't have to email me back. I will understand.



This entry has 1 comments (Add your own)

This is a very interesting Glow/blog. I can't tell if you are Gay or even
your gender.... And I have read most of it. Well, keep on writing---it will be fascinating. [glows should be like this]

Comment from slacbacmac - 9/27/03 5:26 PM