Wednesday, October 06, 2004

10/6/04 Wed


6 AM, i woke up. For some reason, the water wasn't working right; it came out very slowly. Damn, I have to take a shower. I need one before I go to school. I took a sponge bath for 5 minutes. I got dressed. I ate Cocoa Pebbles and two bananas. I had a cup of milk. I opened the door. I heard someone talking outside. I went outside. I saw Chuck and the lady with the kid talking. he went in the office. She said good morning to him. I ask Chuck about the water. He looked into it. Few mintues later, chuck mentioned he fix the water. I closed the door. This time, I took a REAL shower. I got dressed.

Before 8 AM, Miguel called me. He sorry he didn't call me when he got home last night. He needs to see his doctors this friday and get some papers for Medical. He talked for the longest time. he told me about his ordeal about his hospital visit. He don't want his sister in law to take him to the doctors this friday. the last time was hell. they waited for the doctors all day long. Even it took him about two hours for his medication, but he didn't pick them up. It was getting later. He got them the next day. He was still on the phone, I brushed my teeth, got ready for school and walked to the bus stop. He finally said goodbye after 12 minutes.

Class was fun; I had a blast with powerpoint. I gave the teacher my work. He explained he needed the outlines too. I printed them out and gave him them. I did great with the work. He gave me the test. I got an 80 on the test. I started the next chapter. I saw a Star in my eyes. I sent an email. After class, I want to Sprint PCS in downtown. I paid my bill. I went home. I watched my soaps. I finished off Tuna Helper. Last 15 mintues of Days, Karina came by for the Newsletter meeting. I completely forgot about it. It was good I didn't went to the post office after class.

There was a good crowd for the meeting. I noticed there were some Good Times tapes on the book shelf. I took FIVE tape with me to my seat. Man, I haven't watch that show forever. Mike called me; he wanted to come over for Oprah and email. I explained I was in the meeting. We chatted in the meeting for a while. Mike called me again; he was on his way. the meeting went smoothly. An hour later, i waited for Mike. I signed off the web. He finally showed up after 3 PM. he climbed the fence. I told him he could have buzz.

I gave Mike the bad news that an astrologer died. I mentioned she did the readings for Nanacy Reagan. He thought I talked about someone else. I was suprised that he didn't know she died. Mike always keep up with it. He finally found the news of her death. he was sad. he checked his mail. I finished watching the soaps on tape. I saw Good Times on tape too. It was good to see that wonderful black show again! I missed that show. I ate an salad. I offered him to eat. Mike wasn't hungry. Later he ate a salad with Tuna! He mentioned he will bring some Tuna the next time. I called him a LIAR!! He always promised that. He claimed he will prove me wrong! Yeah, right! Mike went home at 8 PM.

I watched the last episode of Good Times. Damn, I shed a tear. I believed it was my first time to watch it. Keith/Thelma's one year Anniversary was full of suprises; great ending for Good Times. Her husband got a new football contract with the Chicago Bear as a free agent. JJ finally made it big with his art; his super hero comic strip was a smash! His first paid advance was tickets for the newlyweds. Thelma spilled the beans - she was preggie! Everyone was happy. Willona got a job promoted and moving to the same neighborhood as Thelma/Keith. Florida was moving to help her with the her new grandkid. Michael was off to College. And the GOOD TIMES continued.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

10/5/04 Tuesday


Miguel called me during Y&R. I mentioned I knew he will call me today. We both said sorry about yesterday. It was a big misunderstanding about Highland and Vine. He wondered if I eat lunch yet. Nope, he wanted to meet somewhere for lunch. I told him I can cook for us. He likes that ideal better. I wanted to cook steak, but I changed my mind. He want to eat the moment he gets there. So, I made Tuna Helper during Days Of Our Lives.

I thought Miguel will call after he take an shower, then he will come over. it was two hours later, he called me from Lucy's during my lunch. YEs, I didn't wait for him to eat. Hey, I was hungry! I watched Ellen. He wanted to eat at the mexican restaurant at the corner. I explained I already cooked for us. He offered to buy some coke at 7/11; he will meet me at my place. I decided to suprised him at 7/11. Ron was leaving too. We walked down together. I saw Miguel crossed the street. He was suprised to see me. We went in 7/11. HE brought a slurpee and Dr. Pepper.

We walked back to my place. The women from King Of Queens was on Ellen. HE doesn't remember what show she was on. I played with him, she was on Saved By The Bell. HE gave me a funny look. I told him that she was on his favourite show, King Of Queens. I fixed him a plate of Tuna Helper. I moved the table to the livingroom. We ate together. We watched Ellen; Ellen was taking care of the baby and did the house chores as she took a day off being lazy around the house. LOL. He didn't ate too much. HE was upset about something; he still want to be lovers. he can't stand being apart from me. I mentioned I have a boyfriend and he needs to fix his life. He started to cry. He wanted to go home. I convinced him to stay. We will always be friends. We hugged each other. He took a nap. I finished my plate.

It was getting too hot for us. I turned on the fan. A while later, he needed help to take off his clothes. he wanted sex, but i declined at first. we ended up having sex. he took an shower. i took one after him. i was in the restroom; he got dressed. he mentioned he wanted to leave. I told him he can leave without me. I finally came out of the restroom. He asked, "do u want to walk with me to the bus stop?" I didn't want to. I just want to stay home. Instead, i went with him to Alvarado. We got something about the store. He was kind enough to give me some money. 304 picked him up. I walked home with the water bottle. Miguel promised to call me when he gets home, but he forgot.

Monday, October 04, 2004

10/4/04 Monday


I arrived at class. Wow! We had a full house. I used the computers on the other side. I noticed some "Don't Use" signs on the computers. I didn't use them. I used one against the wall. I mentioned to the teacher that I was on the other side. He told me that I can use the "Don't Use" computers. It was for the computer class. I started Powerpoint in class. It was easy to learn. I had fun doing it. I like it better than Excel. I finished Excell last friday. I was glad I was done with it.

Miguel called me from Hollywood/Vine after 10 AM. I ran outside to talk to him on the phone. He wondered what I was doing. I was in class till Noon. He offered to buy me lunch. He asked, "What places are close by?" I said, "We can eat at Denny's." He remembered it was by the highway. He will call me when he get there. An hour passed, I haven't heard anything from him. I left class five till Noon. I caught the bus to Vermount/Beverly. I wondered what happened. He should be here by now. He had an hour head start. There was still no signs of him. I sat down at the bus stop. He called me from Hollywood/Viine, "Sorry, I ran into an old friend. We chatted for a while."

I told him that I was at Beverly/Vine. He still wanted to buy me lunch. Somehow, we got our wires crossed. I was going down the elevator. I told him I was going to Highland. He mentioned he has a black shirt on. I waited for the subway. I took the train to Highland. I went straight up and looked for him. I couldn't believed it. Miguel was nowhere to be found. He should be there before I got there. Hell, no! It was only one stop from Vine for him. Somehow, I beat him there. I got tired of waiting and I caught the subway.

Maybe, he was at Vine. I went upstairs. Well, I missed him there too. I waited for a while. I wondered what happened. i got on the Dash bus. Oops, it was the wrong one. It was heading to Wilshire. I caught 217 to Vermount/Sunset. Miguel called me again, this time from Hollywood/Highland. I told him I waited for him there over 15 minutes. All this time, he was at Vine. I got upset with him. I thought we supposed to meet at Highland. I got off the bus at Western; I was this close of going back to Highland. I mentioned I was mad at him. At the last minute, I changed my mind. I got on the same bus. I gotfed up with him. I told him that I was going home. I didn't want to have lunch with him. I was way too angry with him. It was best that I go home. He promised to call me later. He will get something to eat to take home with him.

The Police Raid

By Kazz Falcon

I was a mastermind criminal
I was one of the best out there
The police never caught me until now
I thought I was being smart and careful
I always covered up the crimes
I didn’t leave a trail of clues
Yet, I was being so cocky
I posted my misdeeds on the web at the local libraries
I didn’t want the posts trace back on my computer
I was always one stop ahead of the police
Nobody suspected a thing at the library
I wore disguises to cover up my real identify
The public was intrigue by me
I had a huge following of fans
Some was pretty amazed
The police wasn’t even impressed
My face appeared on America’s Most Wanted
I continued to avoid the police like the plague
I was so sure of not being caught
Man, I was foolishly wrong
I used the computer out in the open
Someone was in my favourite spot – the dark corner
I won’t be at the library that long
I figured I had enough time
I was so deep in thought with the web journal
I lost track of time
The last heist was absolutely fabulous
I considered it to be one of my personal best
The police closed in
It was too late to do anything
I wasn’t ready for the police raid

This entry has 1 comments:

Too true-life has a tendance to speed up like that-I hope you are ok. So were you a club kid? I heard the LA scene was pretty fabulous. Michael Alig is fantastic-I see you think the same-write me if you would like to speack of cabbages & club kings. Be fabulous! nico

*Comment from nicostarr78 - 1/18/05 7:29 PM

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Lady Bluebeard

By Kazz Falcon

I purchased a farm near town
The late husband was crushed by heavy equipment
I pocketed another $4,000 in insurance money
Much like my first husband – $8,500
He died from a heart attack
His family cried fowl play
I collected the insurance policy one day after the funeral
I placed a personal ad in the newspaper
I wanted a financially secure man to marry
Few men answered the ad
One by one, they came to live with me
Instead, I killed them for their savings
Their relatives haven’t heard from them in a long time
They wrote to me about them
I mentioned I never saw them
Even the neighbors was nosy
They wondered what happened to my kid
I sent her off to boarding school in Los Angeles
As soon a man came, he soon disappeared
His sons wrote to me
I explained he never show up
Another man deposited his savings in a account
Things was starting to unravel
For the money, I was a bloodthirsty farmer

Saturday, October 02, 2004

John Doe

By Kazz Falcon

Who was you?
Where did you come from?
There were no clues about you
No one show up to claim you
You were forgotten
You made a lasting impression on me
The bullet killed you instantly
It damaged your brain very badly
I wondered who did this to you
Was you in trouble?
Who want you to be murder?
It was my job to find out
I gathered up the clues
The bullet was the first clue
I looked in the newspapers
So far, there was no mention of the crime
I searched on the web
I came up with nothing
Something dawned on me
Perhaps, you committed suicide
Some kids saw you floating in the water
The police located a car nearby
We found your fingerprints on the car
There wasn’t a suicide note
The gun was missing
Did someone kill you?
Did you kill yourself?
What was the real story?
Life couldn’t be that bad
I won’t rest till I find out who you was
You must be someone else, besides John Doe

Friday, October 01, 2004


By Kazz Falcon

I had too much time on my hands
I get bored so easily
I want to do nothing at all
I became so lazy
It was a bad habit
The money made me that way
I don’t have any goals
I lost interest in life
I had nothing to look forward to
Man, my life was so boring
I must do something
But what?
I wasn’t that actively production
I was on SSI for a long time
Maybe, I should do art again
Or, perhaps, some kind of class
It was a good way to start
Perhaps, something bigger will come along
If I don’t set any goals, I wasn’t living
I was dead to the world
Sadly, I was left behind
I need something to shoot for
That was the first goal to set for myself
Goals keeps us ALIVE
It was time to get off my lazy ass
I will do something with my life
I focused on the goals

Thursday, September 30, 2004

This House

By Kazz Falcon

This house I lived in
It was beautiful at first
Lots of love was there
It was comfortable and pleasant
Sunshine was in every room
Even where the sun couldn’t reach
I was at peace
I had no problems
It was home sweet home
I could live here forever
Now, the house was dark and gloomy
I was concerned about my roomie
Something wasn’t right
There was a large shadow over him
I didn’t felt safe at all
I pestered him till he talk
He confessed he lost his job few months ago
He mentioned he had no other choice
I was confused about the last comment
He admitted the boss fired him
I wondered why
He wouldn’t tell me why
Next few weeks, I noticed lots of people was showing up
Some of them came during the middle of the night
I realized drugs entered our home
My roomie decided to make fast money
He sold drugs at the house
I wasn’t happy about it
This wasn’t a home any more
It was home hell home
He ruined the sunshine in this house

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

True Calling

By Kazz Falcon

I was a small kid
I had a great desire to be a big star
Any kind of a star was fine by me
I loved to sing
I loved to act
I loved to be a performer
Everyone loves me
I loved the applauses from everyone
It made me to feel fabulous inside
As I got older, I lost interest in the biz
I lived that Hollywood life all my youth
It wasn’t that exciting any more
I was so jaded by it
Performing wasn’t in my heart any more
It wasn’t fulfilling to me
I wanted a normal life
I was pulled in another different direction
I found something else I love to do
The art gallery fascinated me
I saw so many paintings
I loved the beauty of them
I can do marvelous paintings
It was something different from acting
Where in acting, it was someone else’s world
I lived in their world of pictures
The paintings were my very own pictures
I created a brand new world for me
I saw life through something magical
The paintings made me alive again
I found my true calling

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Controversial Poet

By Kazz Falcon

My poems brought out the anger in some people
They hated the poems very much
They really despised me a lot
They wanted to scratch my eyes out
They believed I could do such a thing
Murder, drugging, rape, prostitute, and other awful things
I wasn’t that kind of a person
I was a sweet, friendly, nice, loving, peaceful person
I wasn’t a sick person like some people claimed
They wondered if I had any morals
Yes, I had good morals I lived by every day
Writing about something does not mean I did it
Nor I had the desire to do those awful things
I don’t go out and kill people
I had no reason to
I let bygones by bygones
They were hostile toward me
I had to expect that
But I won’t back down from them
They way I see it, they don’t like the world we lived in
Death, gangs, murder, war and etc
Therefore, they lashed out at me
Not all poems they will love
That was fine by me
I was portraying REAL LIFE in my poems
They don’t like what they see in the world
Who doesn’t?
There were bad things in the media, movies, TV and real life
Some people praised TV shows and movies for being REAL
Yet, they criticized me for being too real
It wasn’t fair to me at all
I felt like I was Jesus Christ
They crucified me on the cross
Jesus represents the truth, just like me
My truth was the reality we lived in
They can’t complain about my poems
Now, you know what I was really about
I wasn't ashamed of my poems
I had no reason to feel guilty about
I said my peace
I was a somewhat controversial poet

Monday, September 27, 2004

Husband’s Death

By Kazz Falcon

I never ever expect this
My husband was killed in a car accident
He was driving drunk like always
I was expecting him to come out ALIVE
He always managed to stay away from death
He kept on daring death with drunk driving
We were coming home from a restaurant
We celebrated our 20th anniversary
He hit a ditch in the road
He lose grip of the wheel
He crashed into a moving car
I was hardly injured
It still hurt that he was taken away from me
It wasn’t impossible
It don’t supposed to happen that way
He didn’t had a death wish
He always make it out alive
Not this time, he died on the way to the hospital
I can’t believed it
He supposed to be home with me
I cried out loud
Why, God, why?
Please don’t take him away
I can’t survive without him
He was my rock
What went wrong?
All the years, I turned the blind eye
I didn’t want to face his drinking problem
It was my partly fault
I didn’t confront him about his drinking
I knew death was on his doorstep
Yet, it was the farthest thing from my mind
So was the husband's death

Blind Eye

By Kazz Falcon

I was deeply in love with my husband
Nothing could tear us apart
We were happy with each other
Our love was pure and heartfelt
We continued to overcome our problems
My husband was in another car accident
He was in so many accidents that I lost count
It was about the same old crap
He drove drunk and crashed into something
I was so used to it by now
I don’t worry about him that much
He always brushed it off
Nothing bad will ever happen
Yes, he broke an arm and a leg a few times
We was set in our own ways
It was a daily routine for us
I will always be there for him
I don’t want to leave him
I knew it my heart
He won’t leave any time
No matter how many times he was in an accident
He was like a pussy
He has nine lives
I was so grateful
Nothing will keep him down
The accidents made our love stronger
I turned the blind eye like nothing happen

Sunday, September 26, 2004


By Kazz Falcon

I looked around
It was impossible to see anything
I can’t even see my own face in the mirror
Everything was pitch black
The storm knocked down the power lines
I didn't had any candles at the cabin
I forgot to buy some at the store
I can’t go far
I will stumble and fall down
It was best to stay where I was
I stayed in bed for the rest of the night
I can’t be scare
There wasn’t a sound
Not even a mouse
It was only the darkness and me
No one else was around
I was miles away from civilization
It was scary to be alone
All hope was lost
I might as well fall asleep
Then I won’t be that scare
The sleep was my security blanket
In the morning, I won’t see darkness

Saturday, September 25, 2004

9/25/04 Saturday


I had a fagulous day. I was quite please with everything. The sun was shinning, the buses were cool, everything was marvelous. I left my place after 9 AM. I waited in the hot sun for a while. 304 took me to the post office. I got some mail - Nintendo Power and Entertainment Weekly. Then, I caught 304 to Fairfax. Then I went to Barnes & Noble at the Grove.

I went straight to the chairs. I noticed there was some change on a chair. So much, I wanted to steal it, but I didn't. I could have sat down in that chair. Instead, I got a book. I put the book in my chair. The money was still there. I went back to get more books. Then, I went to my seat again. No one claimed it yet. I was tempted to get the money. I started to read San Fransico Then & Now. The lady next to me got up from her chair. She noticed the money. She asked if it was mine. I said, "No!" I noticed she had a name tag in her hand. Dear Lord! She worked there! It will be so funny that she caught me red handed stealing the money from the seat! OOPS!

Few people came and went from the chairs. I saw a black guy sat down and put some books on the table. Hmm, I was intrigue by the books! They were Buddha books! I wanted to grab one from the table to read. I read London Then & Now, then I read a TV book. The black guy finally left with the books on the table. Of course, I grabbed those books. I read them. It was very interesting to read. I learn more about Budda! So badly, I wanted to buy those books. There were easy to know. I think the next time I will buy them.

There was some web links on the back of the book. I wrote some down on the paper. I will look at those sites. I was at the book store about three hours. I took a walk around the mall. I called Mike at the waterfall pond. He mentioned he will come over tomorrow. He was taking a break from the book. He will start all over. We hung up. I walked in the shade. I finally called Robert. I wanted to get some movies for the weekend. Sean answered the phone instead. He was meaning to call me; he was busy. He couldn't take me yet; he need to go to Barstow to work on his friend's house. We will go after he gets back. I heard Robert yelled, "Hi, Kazz." in the background. I didn't have a chance to talk to him; the phone call was short.

I walked to the bus stop. Damn, it was too hot. I was already sweating. I stood behind the pole. I didn't want to melt. Really, it will put me in the hospital. The dash bus picked me up. Oh well, it was the wrong bus. I didn't want to wait in the sun that long. We turned on La Cingena from Melrose. I saw another Dash bus. I wanted to get off the bus at Melrose. I wasn't sure what bus it was. I realized I saw another dash bus on Melrose going the other way. It was too late to get off. I was thinking of taking that bus to Hollywood/Highland.

The bus dropped me off at Beverly Center. I thought the Rapid bus was running. I checked the bus sign. Man, it only runs on the weekdays! I was out of luck. I stood behind the pole again. It was hot, hot, HOT! A while later, the dash bus came. It was the same one I got off. He was heading back to Fairfax. Far away, the 105 was coming. I checked my phone. Oops, I missed Mike's call. I called him back. I caught 105. He told me the good news. He is getting a pussy! I mentioned I wanted one too. He explained the women will put the pussies on the floor, if the pussy goes to him, he can have the same one. He prefer to go alone. He can't wait for his pussy. I got off 105. Bus 4 was already at the light. I jumped on bus 4. He was so happy to get a pussy. Mike mentioned he needs to buy food and litter! We hung up the phone.

I realized this wasn't 304. I hate taking bus 4. 304 was my favourite. this time, I didn't mind bus 4. It cool me off from the damn heat. Thank God! I wasn't in a rush to go home; I want to enjoy this beautiful day more. I arrived at the bus stop. I got home at 4 PM. I listened to the radio. I was hungry. I ate two peanut butter sandwich. I served the web a bit. I looked up the Buddha web sites. I sent them some emails.

"Good evening. I am interest of learning Buddhist and such. I want to learn for the longest time. I haven't find the right place to get information."

Hopefully, they will respond to me this week. I want to LEARN NOW! I was ready for it. It was something I wanted to do.

That was my fun filled day! I may watch tv in a little while or listen to more radio; Disco Night was on KBIG! It was Saturday night! I may turn to bed early. I may go to church in the morning. Laters, guys.

Teacher’s Forbidden Love

By Kazz Falcon
Dedicated to Mary Kay Letourneau

My marriage was falling apart
I felt emotional overwhelmed
Teaching was a bright spot
I was at the right place
I had a difficult time dealing with the marriage
I became emotional involved with a student
We spent more time alone in the class
I helped develop his gift for art
He has a unique gift in art
A question changed everything for me
It has never cross my mind
He asked, “Will you ever had a affair?”
I didn’t know what to think
I was speechless and stunned
I resisted his flirtations
I realized some students had crushes ontheir teachers
The 13 year old student’s feelings was different
He couldn’t live without me when he gets old
His feelings was truly heartfelt
My resistance faded away
We shared our first kiss
We felt there was nothing wrong
It won’t go any further than the kiss
I admitted I had a very deep love for him
Not long after the first kiss, we had sex
I didn’t felt guilty having sex with him
Something dawned on me
The trouble marriage drawn me to the young affair
My husband and I wasn’t sleeping in the same bed
I continued to have an affair with forbidden love

Friday, September 24, 2004


09/03/04 09:38pm...........This was from Lynndal1.

His soul is hurting inside where we can't see
From the outside he looks like you and me
He has turned his pain into revenge
taking everyone down with him till the end
When you see him coming
you better think twice
he is after your souland your life

09/03/04 09:59pm......from Lynn
Hello Spirit,i have to say this to you i wish you had family around you that love and care about you,then maybe just maybe you would take back your dignity and pride in yourself love lynn.

09/04/04 02:22am............from me
that was a beautiful poem. keep up the good work
"Hello Spirit,i have to say this to you i wish you had family around you that love and care about you,then maybe just maybe you would take back your dignity and pride in yourself love lynn."

the family is dead.

i am MUCH BETTER without them in my life

09/04/04 03:56am.........from Lynn
The family is dead Spirit and so are you inside all you have left is the angry to feed off of.And if your still to this day going out and doing what you say you are doing then god help your poor soul and your mixed up mind.

09/05/04 10:58am........from me
"The family is dead Spirit and so are you inside all you have left is the angry to feed off of.And if your still to this day going out and doing what you say you are doing then god help your poor soul and your mixed up mind."


Dedicated to Lynndal1


I dedicated The Accused to Lynndal1.

Few weeks ago, I put Mickey Finn in the excite forums. Lynn really believed I drugged and raped people.

She was really pist off. She let me have it big time! Also, she believed I spread HIV to others.

HIV Revenge: "NO YOU didn't deserve what has happened to you nor does the poor damn person you give it to." - Lynn

NOTE: Writing about something DOESN'T mean I did it!

It was only my art! I was a talented artist!

I must give her credit; Lynn wasn't the only one. There were others.

This is Lynn's response to The Accused....

I already said i was sorry to you what does it take f@cking blood i am staying away from here so don't worry you won't have to put up with me anymore.Keep on writing write what ever the f@ck you want you are an artist with your own style nobody has the right to stop you.Now goodbye and don't send me anymore posts i won't be back here have a good life have a sh@ty life have any kind of f@cking life you want just have a life

Now, this was my response to Lynn.....

You don't have to leave. It won't be the same without you. Lots of people will miss u. I said my peace.

In closing, I was defending myself in The Accused!

The Accused

By Kazz Falcon

Everyone knows I am an artist
I posted my art in some forums
It was a good way to be recognized
Who knows?
Maybe, an agent can get in contact with me
I could get a book deal
I wasn’t in any rush at all
Sometimes, I ran into some trouble
Some people took my art serious
They accused me of drugging people
They accused me of raping people
They accused me of spreading HIV
They accused me of putting a baby in the dumpster
They accused me about anything
Where do they have the nerves?
They hardly know me
They have no right to judge me
I wasn’t hurting anyone with my art
Yet, they felt like I was doing the dirty deed
I was guilty in their eyes
They didn’t care I was innocence or not
They really believed I was one sick individual
One of these days, they will go too damn far
Perhaps, the police may arrest me for my art
They were hostile with me too
I could end up in the hospital or DEAD!
Man, I didn’t do anything wrong
They must stop assuming the worst things in me
I wasn't a bad guy at all
I was the accused

Thursday, September 23, 2004

9/23/04 Thursday


I went to the post office early in the morning. I had no mail at all. I figured I will have some. Last Saturday, I had lots of mail. I may start going twice a week. I think Wednesdays after computer class and my usual day, Saturday. I thought about going somewhere else like the book store. I changed my mind. I didn't ate any breakfest. I decided to get peanut butter at Smart & Final. I ran out last week. I took 304 Western/Santa Monica, then the bus to Smart & Final.
I got my things and walked to the bus stop. Few minutes later, 156 and 4 arrived. Lots of people caught bus 4. I ook 156 instead. Bus 4 passed up bus 156! YEAH! I won't have to wait for the bus for a long time. 156 dropped me off at Vermount/Santa Monica. Soon, I caught bus 4 home. Man, the bus was still crowed. I stood in front of the bus. My stop was coming up. I moved back to the bus. I got off the bus and went home.

Oh yeah, Karina held a workshop about resume. She came to my place and got me. I didn't want to go till Passions was over! Pilar was anxious to see her long lost daughter, Paloma. Sheridan looked for her, but she was with Alistair. Alistair was up to her old tricks. He mentioned that the family doesn't care for her. That's why Pilar sent her away to Mexico when she was a baby.
I went to the work shop. There was donuts and three of us, besides Karina. They mostly talked about the kitchen. This guy want to work in the kitchen and wanted to learn; he was a waiter long time ago. One cooking school cost $35,000. No thanx. It was too expensive. Besides, cooking is not my thing. I much preferred to work in the office. Ronald brought up the class at Path; he really like the class. We had a nice time at the workshop.

Karina mentioned she wanted to do an newsletter for the apartments. Stories, poems, pictures will be in it. The first newsletter meeting will be on Oct 6 at 1:30 PM. I will be there; it was something I was interest in. Karina dismissed the workshop. I took some donuts with me. I ate some at my desk. I emailed her some poems; she will choose some.

The rest of the day was average.............

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

“Amnesia” Roman Brady

By Kazz Falcon

I stumbled into Salem in 1986
Yet, I was still lost
I can’t remember who I was
I don’t recognize the area
I was wrapped up in bandages
I came across Dr. Marlena Evans
She helped me to unravel my past
She feared I was her worst enemy – Stephano
I had a phoenix tattoo on my shoulder
I slowly recovered my memory
She noticed certain familiar patterns
It dawned on her
Was I her long lost husband?
She found out I had plastic surgery
She saw pictures of Roman at the surgeon’s office
She was convinced I was her long lost husband
She believed Stephano brainwashed and redesigned me
She told me about the pictures
I couldn’t believed it
I “changed” my looks
I felt like I was home again
I was reunited with the woman I love
I was reunited with our kids
I accepted my place in her heart and home
I was happy to have my life back

Saturday, September 18, 2004

9/18/04 Saturday


I woke up after 8 AM. I ate breakfast. I was online to check the emails and posts. I got a email noticed about an reply in a forum. I checked out it. I was shocked beyond belief. The stupid guy wants to BLACKLIST me from the forum. Everhope don't like my beliefs in God. I didn't do anything wrong at all. He has some nerves!

"I do not condemn you." - Everhope

He is a DAMN hypocrite for judging me!

"It is likely you will soon be removed from this forum." - Everhope

Everhope threatened to BAN me from the forum.

OKAY! I am done with the low life!

It was nice out this morning. It was cool and the sun wasn't out. I walked to 304 bus stop. I waited about 10 minutes. 2 and 4 Bus came. I was tempted to take 4, but I wanted to take 304. I caught the bus to the post office. Damn, I had lots of mail! two issue of Entertainment Weekly and SOD. Tony DiMera was on the new cover. It was a good read. Tony was the mastermind of the island and Marlena being a serial killer. I didn't read all of it. I waited for the bus. I read it on the bus thou. Tony wanted to give them the same hurt he recieved all those years ago. PAYBACK IS HELL!

I decided to go to The Grove. It was such a lovely day. I didn't want to go home. Last week, I mentioned I was tired of staying home all the time. This time, I was true to my word. I waited for the bus on Fairfax. The bus dropped me off at 3rd and fairfax. I walked through Farmer's Market to Barnes & Noble at the Grove. It was very nice. Lots of people out at the mall. Everyone was enjoying the warm weather. I went to the third floor and read a book. I was there for a few hours. Mike called me with some bad news. They won't publish his astrology book; they didn't understand the language. It was a big let down for him. He was looking forward to it. Someone else will publish his book. I took a walk around the Grove.

I headed to the bus stop. The bus just left. I caught the next bus a minute later. I got off at Sunset/Vermount. I waited for a while. I took the bus home. I saw Ken across the street. We waved at each other. I continue reading SOD. I looked back. Ken was going home with this black guy. Hmmm, a trick! You go, Ken! I opened the gate. I left the gate unlocked for Ken. I opened my door and put down my stuff. I looked at the time, 3:35 PM. Ken and him walked up the steps. I was hungry. I ate two burentos. I had some tang. I went online for a while. There was nothing on TV. I saw the black guy walked pass by door at 5:25 PM. He was on his way home. Well, Ken and him had some FUN!

to be continued.....

Friday, September 17, 2004

Macaulay Culkin


Macaulay Culkin was arrested by the Oklahoma City police for drug possession on Friday, September 17.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Tracy Gold


Sep 14, 9:41 PM (ET)

MOORPARK, Calif. (AP) - Former "Growing Pains" actress Tracey Gold was arrested earlier this month after her sport utility vehicle flipped on a highway, injuring her husband and two of their three children, police said.

Tracey Gold Marshall, 35, was booked for investigation of felony drunken driving after the Sept. 3 crash, California Highway Patrol officer Steve Reid said Monday.

Marshall wasn't hurt, but her husband, Roby Marshall, 39, suffered neck injuries, the officer said. The couple's 7-year-old son suffered a broken collarbone and a 5-year-old son was cut, but their 4-month-old son wasn't hurt, Reid said.

The Marshalls' home telephone number was unlisted and the actress couldn't be reached for comment.

The SUV, with Marshall at the wheel, veered off the highway just before midnight and it rolled over on its way down an embankment, Reid said.

Officers suspected the actress was under the influence of alcohol and she was booked at the county jail. She posted $50,000 bail the following day and was released. A court date wasn't immediately available, the highway patrol said.

Gold played Carol Seaver during the seven-year run of "Growing Pains," which ended production in 1992.

I was shock by the news. I never thought she will do such a thing. I remembered seeing her on On Air With Ryan Seacrest few months ago. She was friendly and cheerful. She was waiting for her newborn baby. Kirk Cameron suprised her with present. I think they haven't see each other since the growing pains movie.

I learned on Entertainment Tonight that she wasn't charge yet. The police is investigating. Sadly, she ruined her son's life. She will have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. She could have kill them.

It could have been lots worse. This new poem went further than her.

Irresponsible Parent
By Kazz Falcon

My husband drank too much at the restaurant
I didn’t want him to drive
We got in the car
We were on our way home
The young son fell asleep in the back seat
I tried my best to drive
It was pouring down rain
I couldn’t see straight
Sadly, I was all over the road
I accidentally jumped the curb
I ran into a tree
I was shocked
Our son was in lots of pain
I reached out for him
He couldn’t move
I wasn’t able to get to him
I forgot the husband was in the car
No, he wasn’t
He flew through the window
He didn’t had his seatbelt on
I cried for help
I checked his pulse
I killed my husband
Dear Lord! What have I done?
I heard the ambulance coming
The police showed up moments later
I told the police the truth
I was driving drunk in the rain
I thought I was able to drive
Look at the mess I made
My husband was dead
My son was cripple
I felt so ashamed of myself
I had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life
I was theblame
I should have know better
The alcohol clouded my judgment
I was an irresponsible parent

9/14/04 Tuesday


Yesterday, I forgot to add an entry for yesterday which I am doing today before tomorrow comes in 35 minutes. Got that?

I got off the bus on Vermount/Beverly. I went to the corner. This guy guy caught my attention. I felt like he wanted me. I wouldn't pay attention to him. I was anxious to get away from him. I want to focus on my life, not sex. When I became successful, then i will start thinking of a new lover. Right now was not the time for a fling or a new lover. He was handsome. It was hard NOT to look at me. He didn't stop looking at me.

I went to class. It was much better. I am getting an hang of the class. It was cold in the room too. I was glad I brought the coat with me. I was learning new things in class like atl + shift D = Date. T is the time. I was excited. It will take me far. I can see myself working at a publisher or some studio. It was a dream. Perhaps, I can get my book published.

I gave the teachers my work. I didn't do that well. I need to do the papers again. There was 30 minutes left. I couldn't redo my work. I did the next best thing; I uploaded the class' school papers on yahoo briefcase. I should have done this two years ago. I bet I would have finish the class. Everything was in the briefcase. I went straight home. I jumped into the work. I did the papers again. It took me a while to figured what I went wrong. The papers look better now. I can print the papers in class, then he will grade them. I will go on to something else.

Today, I mostly did more poems. I was happy with all of them. Here is one...

Unhappy Home
By Kazz Falcon

I wasn’t happy living at home
My parents fought all the time
They blamed each other for everything
Neither of them shows me any attention
I was sad inside
I was a good kid
I wasn’t getting good grades
I thought it was my fault
I did something wrong
They claimed I was the root of the problem
I tend to believe that
If I was never born, they will be happier
I don’t know why I deserve the abuse
All kids wanted to be love by a parent
I was in a hateful environment
They never ever wanted me at all
I was a mistake they foolish made
I was paying for their mistake
Why me?
I was innocence
I didn’t have a choice to come into this world
I just happened
Presto, I was born 9 months later
They felt like they were forced into marriage
I was the blame for the fighting
That was my unhappy home

Open Window

By Kazz Falcon

I love sleeping at night with an open window
The cold wind breezes through the house
It felt so comfortable
I always sleep like a baby
One night, I was sound asleep in bed
Someone entered the room
He got in bed with me
He put his hand on my leg
Finally, my husband was home from work
It was dark in the room
I could barely see his face
We begun kissing passionate
I noticed he was a little rough
I mentioned he was hurting me
He didn’t care at all
He wanted me right then and there
I couldn’t stop him
He was too strong for me
I was helpless
I screamed out loud
“Stop it! Stop it! Someone help me,” I yelled
My dear old husband wanted to rape me
He covered up my mouth
I was scared for my life
Out of the blue, someone broke down the door
They got into a fight
He escaped through the window
He turned on the light
I was dumbstruck
Dear Lord! My husband saved me from danger
I had no ideal it was someone else
I was safe once again
He looked around the bedroom
The window screen was missing
Crime invited itself through the open window

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Is God A Killer?

By Kazz Falcon

Some people thought so
He wasn’t a real God
He could never send people to hell
It wasn’t his nature
He was a sweet loving God
God sent his begotten son to earth
Jesus wants to save us from our sins
Isn’t that special?
Jesus was a gift from God
We have a choice
We can either accept him or reject him
Yet, they continued to believe God is a killer
Really, he wasn’t
God wasn’t forcing us to hell
He gave us Jesus Christ
He was allowing us to go
All along, it was our choice

9/12/04 Sunday


Nothing much happened. I thought I was going to the book store today. Instead, I was in the the mood to do some poems. I thought I was going to the book store today. I "worshiped" God in my own way; I did some poems, read the bible and did some research about religion. I learrned there was Another Book, besides Lamb's Book aka Book Of Life. Another Book was a fact book; God knows evertything about everyone. Here is a poem about Another Book.

Another Book
By Kazz Falcon

I recently died from a heart attack at age 27
I appeared in front of God
I feared for my life
I was a sinful creature
Yet, I couldn’t escape the hurtful truth
My life was recorded in his fact book
He knew everything about everyone
He knew my every pain, worry, fear and tears I had cried
What have I done?
I was a fool to pass up Jesus Christ
I could have invite him in my life
I rejected his love and saving grace
I was too busy living a sinful life
I was occupy in the world
Sometimes, the world turns a blind eye
I didn’t see the living truth
My fear became a reality
My name wasn’t in the book of life
I was cast into the lake of fire
I was doomed to eternal destruction
I was forever in perdition, thanks to another book

I did about 10 poems all day long. I was quite please. All the poems was quite good. I am gonna to wait to put them on the web site. Miguel FINALLY called me. He was mostly interest in his ID. Nope, it didn't came. That was it. Miguel didn't talk about the car accidnet last week. I was tempted to ask me. I was kinda upset. I didn't show it. Miguel mentioned he may pick up more clothes. I don't care about him. The sooner he picks up all clothes, the sooner he will be out of my life! Man, I can't wait. I was much better without him in my life.

Mike didn't show up or call me. Oh well. it was a good thing. If he came over, I bet I won't do all the poems I did today. That was my funfilled day.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

9/11/04 Saturday


Nothing big nor exciting happen today, not even an terrorist attack! I woke up about 8:30 AM. I went online for a while. I better get a move on. It was getting hot outside. I got dressed and left after 9. Damn, I missed the 304. I saw it pass by. It will be a while for 304. I was tempted to take the next bus. Nah, I can wait a little longer. Then again, the heat was getting to me. Oh well, I toughed it out! Buses 2 and 4 came right together.

304 finally came. Ahhhh, the bus was cool. I picked up my mail; SOD, Entertainment Weekly and the phone bill. I went to the bus stop, reading SOD. I didn't want to go home. I was tired of going home and doing nothing. The day was still young. From now on, I will stay out all day when I go out. Once again, I went straight home. I didn't eat any breakfast. I didn't feel like eating this morning.

10:50 AM, I got home. Hmm, the bible cartoon was coming on at 11 AM. I haven't watch that show in a while. Instead, I changed my mind. I saw all the episode more than one time. I was tired of watching reruns. I got some meat from the frig. I put it in the sink to thaw. I can cook for Mike; steak and green beans. Last time, Mike didn't show up either. I made him steak and mashed potatos. Few hours later, there was no sign of Mike. He mentioned he will be here at 3 PM. So far, no Mike.

More hours passed, I called Mike. He just got out of the shower and ran to answer my phone. He mentioned he couldn't sleep last night; he was too busy writing. He wasn't coming over. He was at the library all day for research. Oh well, I won't have to cook for him. He may come over tomorrow. He thought I was mad. I was about to put the meat back in the frig. Nah, I still can eat it for supper. I cooked the steak in the boiler. I made some green beans too. The steak was fagulous. It was juicy in every bite.

That was about the day I had. Of course, I did some art too. Here is one....

Secret Code
By Kazz Falcon

The secret code saved my life
Last week, I walked home from school
Of course, I was alone
My parents couldn’t pick me up
They were working at that time
I was minding my own business
This one guy drove up beside me
I didn’t pay any attention to him
He kept on trying to get my attention
He mentioned he was lost
I explained an adult can help him
He fed me another line
“Have you seen my lost dog?”
I wouldn’t answer him
He confessed that my parents told him to pick me up
I still didn’t trust him
I know better than that
I asked, “What’s the code?”
He was dumbstruck
He claimed there wasn’t time for the code
He opened up the passenger’s door
I screamed very loud
He saw someone running up
He zoomed off in his car
I explained to the stranger that he was up to no good
He called the police on his cell phone
The police arrived for the statement
I told them the same story
They asked the stranger some questions
Thankfully, he gave them his license plate
The police took me straight home
The police was glad I had a secret code

Baby Moses Law

By Kazz Falcon

I thought about leaving my baby in the dumpster
I wasn’t ready to be a mother yet
I was pregnant from a one night stand
It was the biggest mistake of my life
I don’t want to put my life on hold
I was seventeen year old
I dropped out of school
I ran away from home
I was ashamed of the situation
I learned there was a law
Baby Moses Law was the break I needed
I can leave the baby at a hospital, police, fire or EMS station
No one will say a thing; no questions ask
We can leave the baby at those places – day or night
We won’t go to jail either
I heard horror stories about the dumpster babies
I can’t put my child through that
It wasn’t fair to him
No one may not find him at all
I didn’t want to be charge with attempted murder
The dumpster was the wrong thing to do
I got the courage
I dropped the baby off at the police station
I sadly kissed him goodbye
I will never see him ever again
I was glad he was in safe hands
The police will take good care of him
I gave the baby a chance to grow and live
Thank God for Baby Moses Law

Friday, September 10, 2004


By Kazz Falcon

Youthful Queer
He was so much into the clubkids
His idol was Michael Alig
He found his identify early in life
He was gay and a clubkid at heart
He has an close knit of friends
His very own clubkids to party with
He was an natural and an original
People say he's unique
It was a nice way of saying he's a freak
He likes to march to the beat of electronic percussion machine
He wants to see who steals his heart
He's very special
He wasn't shy
He was outgoing and flamboyant
Is he the second coming of Michael Alig?
Don't get in his way
He will party your ass out like Angel
Someday, his true prince will come
They will live happily ever after
In clubland, where the clubkids rules

9/10/04 Friday


Today was the worst day of my life. The heat is getting to me very badly. I woke up this morning. I was thisclose of throwing up. I didn't thou! This past week have been too hot. I was thinking about skipping school today. I wasn't feeling it. Damn the heat. I tired to go back to sleep, but couldn't. So, I took an shower to cool me off. Somewhat, the shower was a little better for me.

I went online for a while. Yet, I was feeling bad. The fan was on me till I went to class. I checked the posts and such. I had no breakfast. I know I will threw up from all the heat. I won't go to class early at all. I will arrive late. I will leave between 8 to 8:30 AM. I will still be tired if I leave about 7 AM. I won't last in the computer class.

I arrived about 8:20. I got the stuff and sit in the other room. For an hour or so, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to deal with it. I checked the Tv Guide about the latest soap news and the entertainment news. I felt renewed. I tackled the work. After 11 AM, I was ready for the test again. Last time, I flunked big time; the teacher mentioned I need to do the lesson again! Today, I didn't want to do the lesson again. I wanted to be lazy today.

Anyway, I was feeling good about the test. Of course, I cheated! Shhh. Don't tell the teacher. I made an 80; I missed two on a 10 questions test. Sometimes, we have to heat to get ahead in life. It's time to leave. I pondered about the post office. I changed my mind and went home; the CBS soaps wasn't on either. I was anxious to see All My Children! Babe was ready to give the baby back to Bianca! It was about time!

Bianca thought her baby died few months ago. Reality, Paul Cramer stole Babe's baby and give Bianca's baby to Babe. Paul's sister needed a baby to save her marriage to Kevin; Kelly miscarriege her baby and asked Paul for help at any ost. Kelly was desparate to get a baby. Babe couldn't handle telling Bianca the truth and ran away. She talked to a pastor; she wanted a sign from God. She didn't know where she was going; the sign was knocked down. She landed in Llandview where her own baby was living with Kevin!

Last week, Kevin and Kelly went to court for the sole custody of Ace. Tico helped Kevin with the court case; Kevin won Ace. Kelly was heartbroken. Any way, Babe saw Kevin with Ace at the restuarant. Kevin didn't know how to calm down the baby. Babe offered to take care of the baby. She felt an connection to Ace. She wondered if Kevin was ever out of town with the baby. Ace wasn't never out of town, except with Kelly in Boston. I think it was Boston. I forgot! At the end of OLTL, Paul showed up at the same restaurant and saw Kevin and Babe talking!

I taped OLTL and watched Days Of Our Lives. John and Bo tried to get through the forcefield. Bo ran into it and flew back few feets to the ground. Everyone was worried. Bo survived. At the end, Roman, Marlena, Abe, Jenn, Tony and the baby showed up at the forcefield. They was so happy to see each other. Bo wondered where his wife was; Hope and Patrick was looking for Jack, who was missing after a few weeks.

Mike called me this evening. I talked to an Clubkid, Kackle, online. He wasn't home when I call him on the way home; he was doing research at the library. He will come over to do a chapter tomorrow. Mike asked, "Is there something wrong?" I didn't say at all. Few minutes later, Mike called me again. He mentioned he knew there was something wrong; u know, my vioce. He knows me like a book. I admitted I was tired of doing nothing. Life wasn't that grand for me. Trust me. My life wasn't all that. He promised he will help me to get my book published. I truly felt like I was on the way to last goodbyes.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

The Apprentice


The second season premiere was pretty good. Once again, Donald Trump splits them into groups - men versus women. I didn't care about their team names. Last year's was much better. This time, Donald added a kewl twist - one of the opposite sex must be the TEAM LEADER for the other team this episode.

We may have another Omarosa on our hands! This one black chick, Stacie, went nutso in front of her team. Nobody was friendly with her. For crying out loud, most of them was eating lunch! Stacie wanted to know them a little better.

The mean white lady, Pamela, talked very bad about this kid's bad haircut in front of Mattel people. The kids was testing the new toys the teams made. Pamela was out of line big time. If I was a team leader, I will fire you on the spot! Jesus, now the kid will be PICK ON, thanx to her.

Also, I bet he will see a shrink later in his life.

Stacie and Pamela were in BAD taste on the first day on the job! Those two won't last. At the boardroom, Carolyn called Pamela on the insult! U go, Carolyn!

The women team won; they spent the evening with Donald and his girlfriend in his penthouse.

The losing team - the guys - lost one of their guys; Donald fired him!

Don't forget.........The Apprentice will be on ONE HOUR LATER at 9:30 PM/8:30 PM on NBC Thursdays after Joey and the season premiere of Will & Grace.

Any Survivor fans........the new season starts next Thursday at 8 PM/7 PM on CBS.

Enough rants about The Apprentice! Till the next time! LOL

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Drug Baby

By Kazz Falcon

Hello, I was the worst mother ever
My doctor told me to stop using drugs - NEVER!
My baby would be just fine
The drugs wouldn’t effect the baby in anyway
He warned me that the baby would be in grave danger - NO WAY!
Besides, I could stop anytime
He mentioned it ought to be a crime
Yeah, right!
He figured I wasn’t that bright
I just didn’t care
He tired his best to give me a scare
I cried out loud, I went into labor
It went over a day
I wasn’t that gay
The birth hurts like hell
I gave birth to a baby boy
Something was immediately wrong
Anything but that I feared
Nothing was further from the truth
I was ashamed of myself
I didn’t see my baby soon after the birth
I felt so much guilt in my life
I couldn’t believe it
The guilt was so strong
I never went to see the drug baby

Monday, September 06, 2004

Dumpster Baby

By Kazz Falcon

I won't reveal who I am
I couldn't
The police will arrest me for child endangerment
But I can give you many reasons
I can't give the baby a life it's deserves
My parents don't know I was pregnant
They don't believe in premartial sex
I went against their beliefs
They will be disappointed in their little girl
I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant
He ran out on me - that bastard
He told me that he wanted a kid
One day, I came home from work
All his things was missing
He didn't even left a Dear Jane letter
I couldn't believed that he will hurt us like that
I thought we were perfect together
I was left with nothing
All I had was a bun in the oven
Nine monthes later, I went to the alley
I found a spot to have the baby
It was an quite dark alley
No one suspects a thing
I had my baby behind the dumpster
The baby boy was innocense
I kissed him goodbye on the head
I was doing the right thing for him
I can't provide him a good life
I had nothing to give him
He became a dumpster baby

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Michael Alig's Prison Information

Date of Information: 09/05/04

DIN (Dept. Identif. Number) 97A6595



Date of Birth: 04/29/1966

Race/Ethnicity: WHITE

Custody Status: IN CUSTODY

Housing/Releasing Facility: ELMIRA

Date Received (Original): 10/24/1997

Date Received (Current): 10/24/1997

Admission Type: NEW COMMITMENT

County of Commitment: NEW YORK

Latest Release Date/Type: (Released Inmates Only)

Crime 1, Description: MANSLAUGHTER 1ST
Crime 1, Crime Class: B

Crime 2, Description: Crime 2, Crime Class:

Crime 3, Description:

Crime 3, Crime Class:

Crime 4, Description:

Crime 4, Crime Class: If all 4 crime fields contain data, there may be additional crimes not shown here. In this case, the crimes shown here are those with the longest sentences.

Aggregate Minimum Sentence: 010 Years, 00 Months, 00 Days

Aggregate Maximum Sentence: 020 Years, 00 Months, 00 Days

Earliest Release Date: 11/30/2006 Under certain circumstances, an inmate may be released prior to serving his or her minimum term and before the earliest release date shown for the inmate.


Parole Hearing Date: 09/2006


Parole Eligibility Date: 11/30/2006

Conditional Release Date: 03/30/2010

Maximum Expiration Date: 11/30/2016

Maximum Expiration Date for Parole Supervision: Post Release Supervision

Maximum Expiration Date:

Parole Board Discharge Date:

Michael Alig's Current pic


This is Michael Alig's updated address........

Michael Alig
Elmira Correctional Facility
P. O. Box 500
Elmira NY 14902

Michael's current pic as of August 5, 2004 is on my web site.

The Island

by Kazz Falcon

I mysteriously arrived on an island
I have no ideal how I got there
I ran into Alice at Salem Place
Was I dreaming?
I was shock to see her alive
I killed her with donuts
Man, I was the serial killer back home
For some reason, I was bloodthirsty
I passed out on the ground
I suddenly woke up in Alice's house
I was lost and confused
How did I get there?
I saw Roman and Abe
It can't be real
I killed them both
I shot Abe in front of his house
I slit Roman's throat on his wedding day
Man, I was really freaking out
Yet, everyone was alive, even Victor
How can it be?
I didn't kill Victor in the bathtub
Even I was dead too
The police shot me on sight
They convinced me that we were trapped
We all want to go home
We missed our loved ones
Somehow, we need to find a way to escape
Who was the mastermind behind the island?

Friday, September 03, 2004

9/3/04 Friday


Nothing big happen today. My phone was off. I didn't want anyone to bother me. I finally turned of the phone after 3 PM. I checked my message. There was an URGENT message from Marcelia. She wanted to know if I talk to Miguel lately. Well, the last time was last Friday after he got back home from Marcelia's on Crenshaw. He invited me to come over for supper. Nah, I passed. Any way, I called Marcelia on her cell phone. I think I called the wrong number. I called her place. Her daughter answered the phone. She gave me Marcelia's cell phone. Of course, I didn't call. I will call her at home tomorrow.

Mike called me to tell me the good news. They wanted his book. They was quite please with the beginning. He may come over Sunday to work on his book. I was happy for him. He was excited about the book. He mentioned he will try to help me with my book. I will hold it to him; they may not want mine anyway. Oh well. There are other publishers in the states. I was in no hurry to be published. Someday, it will happen with or without Mike's help.

I checked the posts in Fox forum. This one numbskull really believed I was raping people. Man, I will never do that. I was warning them about Mickey Finn. He was dangerous. The person chewed me out too. I pointed out that is could happen to ANYONE, even his own mother! Wait till he read that. He will be mad for "talking" about his mother that way. Who cares? I mean no harm with Mickey Finn.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

2 Sept 2004 Thursday


I wake up early.......this past few nights about this time (11:32 PM) I am getting tired and sleepy that I want to go to bed early. Soon, i need to wake up early for computer class on Wednesday. I have to crash soon starting tomorrow. It will do some good for the class.

Anyway, time for bed.

Okay, i am back to finish what i started last night.

Yesterday, I didn't pay the gas bill. The heat was getting too much for me. I just went home. I didn't want to put the gas bill off any longer. I noticed Ken was on his way out somewhere. I walked to the bus stop. Ken was still there. I ran across the street. Ken thought I was going to school. Nope, I was going to pay the gas bill. He wondered how come it was 10 cent. I paid in advance. He told me that his eletric bill is about $74. He runs the AC a lot, even at night. We chatted for a many things that I can't remember all of it.

Hmm, let's see. We talked about his two dogs. He mentioned that our neighbor gave him his dog. Man, I really hate that dog. One time, I walked upstairs to get my mail. I didn't make it thou. That MEAN dog bark, bark, bark and bark. So, I went back to my place. I don't want to deal with that dog. If the owner wasn't around, I will have KICK the dog or even kill the mutt! He had another dog for 12 years. It died last year or so. He rescued another dog at the shelter. His dog and the mean one gets along fagulous.

I told him that I want to move to Sunset/Western. I am tired of walking to Vons all the time. Food 4 Less was across the street from the new apartments. The post office was close by too. Ken mentioned that he just can't; there was no place near to walk his dogs. Besides, we lived by Echo Park. Also, our neighbor JC wants to move there too. He mentioned that the applications are ready. I will call Yolando about it. He wondered what apartment I have - an single. It was time for one bedroom apartment. Ken loves his place; he has a balcony. He invited me to come over to look at his place.

Our rents went up. Hey, we can't complain at all. It is still rent. Ken mentioned those apartments probably cost about $1,000 in rent. Thank God we have section 8. I wanted to talk to him about the CDs. He may know more about the CDs. We did have a "money" class about CDs. It made me interest of getting the CDs. It really makes sense for me. We got off the same stop. He went to his bank; I went to the gas company, $20.10. I caught the Dash to Vermount/Sunset. I took the subway to Western. I went to Food 4 Less for more Burrentos. I caught the bus.

Would u believe that Ken got on the bus at Sunset/Hollywood? I yelled out for him. He sat by me. We chatted. He mentioned Poineer Market closed down; an Walgreens will take it's place. He mostly get his meat there. I only get coke and the lettuce. I ask, "Have you ate?" Ken always eat breeakfast before he goes out. We got off the bus. I offered him an slurpee at 7/11. He turned me down; he don't like them. The drs told him he can't eat certain things. He have been HIV - for 12 years. He was on meds too. Some meds makes him skin itch....something like that. I told him that I was on meds for the first year. I stopped taking them; I hate taking them two times a day - day and night. Ken mentioned there is a new meds coming out soon. I am HIV - over 8 years.

We parted our ways to our own apartments. I put away the food. I did my usually daily activies - online and soaps.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

1 Sept 2004 Wednesday


I have to make this short. I am very tired. I am about to fall asleep at any moment. I haven't done Tuesday yet. I will do it tomorrow if I remember!

I will never ever go out late on a very hot day. Man, it was so hot that I sweated everywhere! I took a quick shower. I heard some people talking outside. I opened the door. It was some friends and that damn cable guy. Ron asked, "Do You want cable?" I quickly said, "NO!" There was no sense of dealing with the cable guy; he is a thief! Besides, there was no sense of getting cable; i will be moving soon to Western/Sunset! Yes, I will FINALLY have one bedroom apartment!

I left after 10:45 AM. I walked to 304 bus. It took me to the post office, I got my mail. I took the new Rapid bus to Beverly Center. I didn't went to the mall. I didn't have time for the mall or anything else. I took care of some errands. I caught the Dash bus to Hollywood/Highland. I took the subway to Hollywood/Vine. I walked to the bank. I put the check in the account.

Then I walked in the hot sun to the DWP. I paid the bill. I walked up to Hollywood Blvd by The Gay Center. I waited for the bus. I was extremely hot. I was sweating like a pig. It was that hot to walk. I changed my mind about the gas bill. I can pay online.........ooohhhh, 10 cent! hehe. The bus took me to Hollywood/Vine. I caught the subway to Santa Monica. I took the bus to Lucy. I got a money order for rent.

I went to 7/11 for a slurpee to cool me off. I went home and paid the rent. I turned on the A/C for a while. I noticed it was 1:30. Hmm, Days Of Our Lives was still on. I decided to watch it after I sworn I will never watch Days again! Days is like Passions now; it was too SLOW! Bo got on Kat'e case for not loving Roman. Hello, her husband is DEAD! Bo told John and Kate that Roman and Marlena are ALIVE! Kate can't believed it.

John was still not convinced. Bo and John went to the police station. John listened to the secret code. Tek came along to help out. Abe was talking to Marlane about the dirty deed. Not the serial murders that she done in Salem! Roman and Marlena had sex! My God! They are not even married! Roman is married to Kate and John was married to Marlena. Marlena told Abe that things will never be the same forthem; John may not want herback.

Lucas showed up to see his mother, Kate. Kate assumed that Sami hurt him again. She threatened to kill her! Well, Sami talked to her ex husband on the phone; it looks like that they still love each other. I don't think that Sami told Brandon about her engagement to Lucas. That's why Lucas went to see Kate. That's all I can remember about Days.

I did my daily routine at home. You know....the same old crap! Online, checked the posts and such. Deal Lord! This is a pretty long entry! Oops! I thought it will be short. As I type, I can't go on at all. I was about ready to pass out! HELP ME!

10 Reasons Being Gay is Wrong


10 Reasons Being Gay is Wrong

(edited from

1.) Homosexuality is not natural, much like dyed hair and nose rings are not natural.

2.) Heterosexual marriages are better than Homosexual marriages because Heterosexual marriages produce children. Old and infertile people should not be allowed to marry either, because the world needs more children. Especially in China.

3.) Homosexual parents will raise children who will grow up to be homosexuals. Just like Heterosexual parents will raise children that will grow up only to be heterosexual.

4.) Gay marriage would be less meaningful. Certainly less meaningful than Britney Spear's two-day marriage just for fun.

5.) Being gay is a conscious choice. Some people just choose to be hated and discriminated by others for their entire lives.

6.) Children should not be raised by homosexual parents because they will grow up with a warped view of marriage. Divorced and separated couples are much better examples.

7.) Children should not be raised by homosexual parents because they need an example of both sexes as role models. Single parents should not be allowed to raise their children either.

8.) Marriage should not be changed to include gays. Marriage has been around for a long time, and has not changed at all in all that time. Women are still property, blacks cannot marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

9.) Homosexuality is not supported by religion. We must always do what religion tells us to, because the United States is a theocracy ruled by the church and has no room for any other views.

10.) Civil unions, providing many of the same benefits as same-sex marriages, are a better way of deciding the issue. After all, the "separate but equal" policy has always gone over well in the past.

THE BOTTOM LINE: there are no reasons but ignorance.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004


By Kazz Falcon

I was homeless
I came upon bad times
I wasn't an alcoholic or a druggie
I lost my job
The boss laid me off after 10 years
I couldn't find another job
I never thought I will be homeless
Man, I still can't believe it
I can't stand living on the street
It was very dangerous
I saw things that can get me kill
I tend to stay away from those people
Some of them can't be trusted
They will rob you blind
I don't want to continue living in a shelter
I can't sleep at night
The food was bad
There was some nuts in the joint
I really need help
I was scared to death
By the grace of God, I will not be homeless

8/31/04 Tuesday


I got up early. It was time to get the free bus pass at APLA. That is the only thing I need from them. I took 304 to the subway. The light turned green. I walked across the street. I noticed someone standing at the door. It looked like an old friend. I called out, "Sean!" Nothing happened. I truly felt like I know him. I walked up the stairs. I called out his name again. This time, he heard me. Man, we haven't seen it each for a long time. Sean was Robert's ex.

He mentioned he was so moved by God in the church. When he heard my voice, he thought an angel was talking to him! ROFL. Yes, guys, I am an angel and don't forget that! hehe. We caught up old times. I mentioned it was too hot to talk in the sun. We went over to the shade. We continued to talk. Robert poked his finger at me. I didn't see him there all along. He was talking to this one guy. My mind was on Sean!

I told them I was still at the same place and, hopefully, moving to an one bedroom apartment on Western/Sunset at the end of the year. They offered to help me move. Robert and Taylor helped me the last time I moved from Miguel's on Cherokee in September 2002. Taylor was another ex of Robert's! Miguel was my ex. He said, "I have the paper work from APLA." They asked, "What are you doing now?" I said, "I need to pick up the bus pass." Robert haven't got a bus pass in a long time. Robert asked about Taylor - we haven't seen him in a few months. He thought he lived with Michael. As far I know, he still lives on Gower. Taylor have'nt check him email in months.

We walked to APLA. Robert mentioned he was getting movies from the web, the current ones like Spiderman 2, Shrek 2 and more. We went to the third floor for the bus pass. It was on the second floor few months ago. We got the passes. I asked, "what are you doing now?" Sean invited me to go with them to the pawn shop. We walked down the stairs to outside. Robert wanted to get some food. We went to the food bank behind APLA. I waited outside. Robert came out; his card expired. He need new everythng. APLA need to update his case every year. Sean came out too. Robert told him the same thing. Sean mentioned that he will be moving to the valley tomorrow. It was time to get his own place.

We got in Sean's new "old" car. I thought it was new. His last car was two passangers. Robert offered to get in the back. Nah, I can sit in the back. They mentioned that Sean brought a new laptop for work; Mike ruined the last one. Mike used to work for him. We arrived at the pawn shop, near the cable company a block away. Sean need to pick up his sword and a watch. We looked around. I mentioned to Robert, "for the old things, this is very expensive!" They have about everything, rings, watches, coins and others. I put the sword on my hip to carry it. We continued to look around. Robert likes this clock that he wanted Sean to buy for him, an early birthday present. He thought I wanted to buy it for him.

I saw a chinese picture in the back room. It cost over $500. Man, i really love that picture. I was tempted to get it. I can't afford it thou. I was drawn to the chinese as much as Hollywood, itself. I have lots of Buddas at my place. Rub his stomach, u will get good luck! I still want to join an Budda religion for a while. I haven't find an church yet. Someday, I will. We were ready to leave. Sean didn't know where his sword was. Robert mentioned I have it, that bastard! hehe. I hoped I could play with Sean for a little while.

We went to the car. I said, "Sean, you need to open the trunk first." Robert's door was already open. We were hungry. I didn't eat breakfast. We decided to eat Fatburgers. I haven't been there since the last 90's. We ordered burger, fries and coke. We waited for our food. We chatted awhile. Sean brought up my ex. I finally admitted that I was having sex with my ex. Sean guessed right! I told them that Miguel called me out of the blue last year. I didn't tell them that Miguel used to stay with me for a while at Waterloo. Robert remembered how Miguel was with me when i moved out. No biggie thou. Miguel and I were friends as much as Sean/Robert were.

We ate our lunch. Sean wondered where I want to go. I mentioned, Home. I can do the errands tomorrow. I can get the rent money and pay the bills. Robert got off in the street when the light was still RED. It reminds me of Happy Days! I got in the front seat. We talked for a while. He wondered why Robert and I don't hang out. He told me that Robert told him that we were doing our own thing; which was true. Really, I don't want to hang out with him; Robert never ever pay me back the $200 he oles me. I kept it inside of me. Sean mentioned they haven't been getting along; Robert was an grouch in the morning. LOL.

Sean wanted to use my phone; he need to call his friend in the valley. He supposed to go her place after he drops me off. We arrived to my place. I invited him in; this was his first time to be at my place. He was impressed; he likes it alot. Sean brought up my money. I showed him the checks. He gave me an bright ideal. I should put the checks in CDs; let my money grows, not sit there. I have been wanting to do that for the longest time, but I don't know nothing much about the CDs. Sean offered to helped me. He tried to get in contact with his friend online; nope, she wasn't on. Sean used the phone again. He gave me his email; he don't have the web any more. We hugged. He went to his friend's,

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Losing Focus

By Kazz Falcon

I was working on a book
It was due by December 2004
I had a month left
Everything was going smoothly
I ran into an old friend
I haven't seen him since childhood
We caught up on old times
We hung around a lot
I completely forgotten about the book
We had so much fun
I was smittened by him
We spent every waking moment together
We can't get enough each other
I moved in with him
I put everything on hold
I did everything for him
I cooked
I cleaned
I took out the trash
I loved him so much
There was something missing
I felt I was lost
I wasn't happy
Don't get me wrong
Our love was still strong
I missed writing very much
That I lost focus

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Was I Innocense?

By Kazz Falcon

I ran into some trouble
I don't recall what happen thou
I woke up with a massive headache
I had blood on my hands
I searched around
I came upon a bloody body in the restroom
I wondered what happened
Everything was a blurr to me
I picked up the knife from the body
Someone rushed in with the police
He accused me that I killed someone with a knife
I was scared that I didn't know what to say
He saw it with his own eyes
Man, what have I done?
I wasn't capable of murder
I couldn't do such a thing
I had no reason at all
The police noticed my eyes was red shot
Things weren't looking good for me
My fingerprints was on the knife
The guy mentioned I was out of control
That my anger gotten the best of me
I went on a rampage
I destroyed everything in sight
I wanted revenge against my dead lover
I had it with his lies and deciet
I couldn't take it any more
Did it really happened that way?
Damn, I want the pain to go away
I don't know what to believe
I wished I can remember
The police arrested me for murder
Was I innosense?

Miguel's Family


Copyright © 2004 Kazz Falcon

Miguel’s Family
By Kazz Falcon

By now, some of you know that Miguel have a alcohol/drug problem. This is not about me. This is not about his family. This is about him and his problems.

8/27/04, Friday - Miguel called me on the phone. He mentioned that the night before he CONFESSED to Marcelia and her family about his drug problem; only the kids doesn’t know. He demanded that they can’t tell his other family members. Olga, are you listening?

I really believed it is a big mistake. They must tell everyone in his family. It wasn’t fair for either Olga and me, personally if they keep the so called secret from the rest of the family. Olga and I have friction; she doesn’t like me for “spreading hateful lies about Miguel in person and the web.”

Marcelia, please tell the whole family. Everyone will be better off, mostly Miguel, Olga and me. Then, Olga will stop believing I am the bad guy. Last year and few weeks ago, I told Olga in a letter/post card that he has a drinking problem.

Olga confronted him about the letter. Miguel covered up the truth to her. She believed HIS LIES!

Few months later, Miguel mentioned to me that Olga WANTED an apology from me.

Well, Olga. Sorry, but you are NEVER gonna to get one from me. All this time, I was telling the truth and Miguel lied to you.

The fact is I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE! What do I mean by that? Miguel alcohol/drug problem is no longer my burden. After all, Marcelia and her family knows the truth!

Olga, therefore, you can’t see me as the VILLAIN! I have one thing to say to you.


Olga, I won’t say sorry about his drinking. But, honestly, I ole your family and you an apology for SOMETHING ELSE. Yes, I lied about the trip.

Sometimes, we need to lie. Why I lied? Because Miguel will track me down. I didn’t want any part of him whatsoever. His drinking DROVE ME AWAY!

Once again, this is not about his family or me. It is about Miguel himself.

It is best that everyone knowsabout his drinking, including the kids. The friction with Olga and me will FINALLY end.

Like the old saying, the truth will set you free.

Miguel promised Marcelia that he will stop using drugs. Honestly, I really don’t see that happening. I have been around Miguel long enough to know better. He made me homeless. October 2001, he was driving drunk. He lost the car, his job and his apartment.....oops, our apartment. December 2001, He moved back to Olga’s and left me on the street.

Olga, are you listening? I have every right to be MAD at him. No one have the right to be MAD at me, Olga. Got that? Yes, the truth hurts.

Do you know what? I wasn’t angry at all. I was grateful to be homeless. I was FINALLY free from his drinking problem. I wasn’t happy living with him.

Thank God! I was homeless for six months in early 2002. God gave me a much needed break. September 11, 2002 - he gave me my own Section 8 apartment on Waterloo.

I am MUCH BETTER off without Miguel in my life. After today, Miguel may not be in the life any more. As long he continues drinking and doing drugs, I don’t want him in my life.

My life with Miguel is over since the day he made me homeless. I really don’t need him in my life nor his family. I am doing better without his family and him.

You need to confront him as the WHOLE family. Some certain family is hurting him and themselves in the long run. Vice versa. Some family believed I was lying. That’s right, Olga!

You ALL need to come together, including the kids, to help him AT ANY COST.

Please help him before it’s too damn late. Death may be lurking.

This is a fair warning. Miguel wants to move to Palm Springs. That really tells me that he want NO HELP at all. Honestly, Miguel is RUNNING AWAY from his problems.

Marcelia’s family haven’t see Miguel in three full years, nor me. We lost many years without Miguel and without each other. Do you want it to be another three years,five years, seven years or something else will happen like suicide?

His life is really out of control. Few days ago, even Marcelia’s family noticed it. I didn’t even to tell them! They learned on their own. So badly, I wanted to tell them in the post card, the same post card I sent to Olga.

At this very moment, he don’t want to stop. He doesn’t want to let go of the past. He covered up his pain by drinking and drugs. All this time, he really believed that his family doesn’t love him because he is gay. Even the friction with Keiko and their mother made him to drink and do drugs. I, myself, believed they don’t love him.

I don’t expect for Miguel to get help any time soon. He haven’t hit rock bottom yet. Yes, he tasted it a few times already. Yet, he keep on depending on some friends for help.

June 2004 - I tried my best to help him. I took him in for a while. Man, that was the biggest mistake of my life. I was hoping he already change for the better. In reality, I was just fooling myself. Sometimes, he will come home drunk from the clubs. I couldn’t take his drinking any longer. I wasn’t happy living with him. It was a living nightmare. So, I kicked him out. He left on June 13, 2004, Sunday

Few days later, he called me. He begged me for another chance. I was STUPID ENOUGH to let him to come back. The freaking problem started again!

August 2004 - One Saturday night, my friends and I saw him drunk on the street. Miguel was waiting for me to come home. I finally made up my mind. He will not stay with me anymore. Later, I found out from some neighbors that the police escorted him out of the complex because he was drunk. He left an alcohol bottle behind.

The next few days, I didn’t talk to Miguel at all. I was really angry at him. Thanx to him, I could have lost my place. He will have made me homeless AGAIN! He didn’t take a shower, had any clothes on him or money! Hey! Somebody needs to give him tough love. Once again, he tasted rock bottom. I refused to talk to him. I won’t even let him to pick up some clothes.

Miguel found a place to crash. Hmm, he was depending on a friend. What’s that? Oh, yes. Co-dependency. It was another sign of alcoholism. A week later, he finally picked up his things on a Friday evening. He was a big mess. We didn’t talk much.

Miguel was in the restroom. I put a letter in the side pocket of his place. Later, he found the letter. I grabbed it from him. I didn’t want him to read it right now. I put the letter in my shorts.He was in the restroom again. This time around, I put the letter on top of his clothes in his bag. He rested for a while on my bed. He watched TV for a little while.

Miguel was ready to go to the bus stop. I offered to walk him. He can’t carried the two bags by himself. We waited for Bus 304. The bus came. I put the bag on ths bus. He mentioned he will call me when he get home. I stayed on the bus till the next stop. I went home. A while later, he called.

Much later in the night, Miguel called again and THANK ME for the letter. He knows he has a drinking problem. The next day, we chatted for a while. I mentioned I can’t help him in any way. I was sick and tired of his drinking. He mentioned that he need to help himself first. He can’t get the help he needs. He doesn’t want any help with the problem.

Miguel loves drugs/drinking more than he loves us. ALCOHOL IS A DRUG TOO.

Miguel, now you know why I don’t love you any more. There was no way to love you. Your drinking ended our love long time ago. It DESTROYED our love AND my life. Your love is not worth the pain and suffering. I am much better without you in my life. Good riddance, Miguel.

The rest is up to you, Miguel’s family. This is about Miguel, not us.

This is the best time to have an intervention. What are you going to do?

Friday, August 27, 2004

One Year Anniversary


This is my first entry. Don't worry. I won't probe you - not yet anyway! LOL I came in this world in 1969, where I, somehow, born to human beings! I don't have the slightest ideal how that happen. Then again, I should know. I am an alien. hehe I travelled through many miles to get where I am comfortable in life. Some humans just don't treat me right. I left home to find my own kind of aliens. I am a gentle soul with love to offer. I got to go now. Till the next time, I seek out love, peace and understanding among the humans.

What u just read was my FIRST EVER POST on August 27, 2003.

Yeah, today was my one year anniversary of EARTH JOURNAL!

Time sure flies when we have fun. Some months, I was not active in this journal.

There was nothing to write if life is that freaking boring.

I promised I will do my best to be active for this journal.

After all, it's all about me and then some! Gossip! Scandals! Juicy bits! Fun facts! Even the BIZARRE!

Congratulations to me!