Friday, June 18, 2004

6/18/04, Friday


5:35 AM - Miguel woke me up by calling my name and knocking on the window. Damn, him again? I was sleeping pretty well. I wanted to sleep again. He went at it for a while. I didn't get out of bed. I used the same trick - his pager. This time, I used Olga's phone number. He may called her back. I tried Olga's number three times. Olga should be up about this time. I heard nothing for a while. The moment I fell asleep, he knocked on the door again. Man, I really need my sleep. After a while, he just left.

10:35 AM - I woke up. I was still tired. I laid in bed for a little while. Well, there will no TV today. I was missing Days Of Our Lives again. It came on 10 this past two days because of Tennis. I won't watch Y&R either till Sunday evening. I need to be quite as a mouse for the weekend. I don't want Miguel or anyone else to know I was here.

5 PM - I was doing the journal. Miguel showed up, calling my name from the sidewalk. I didn't even respond. I played the gameboy in bed. Someone buzzed him in. He knocked on my door. I loved being a mouse. For the better half of the life, I was the pussy. Meow! I heard someone talking to Miguel. It sounded like the aprartmnet manager was talking to him. I bet he chewed him out big time. Hmmm, I will get an earful from Chuck next week. He wants to know what's up with him. I better play it safe with him. I can't afford to lose my apartment.

What did I did? Throughout the day, I was online, played Bomberman, nap, eat and ate cheese all day long. "Squeek, squeek!" said the tired mouse. Basicly, I stayed out of trouble or harm's way, whatever comes first. LOL. Miguel called a few times - 10:50 AM, 12:42 PM and 8:47 PM which I purposedly missed! Me, bad!

I answered the one at 3:49 PM. I told him that I was in Long Beach with my friend to get his MTA ID card. Miguel was disappointed thou; he wanted to come over. Hey, what can I do? He need to learn that he can't ALWAYS depend on me whether I was home or not. He will get sick and tired of me letting him down. Hopefully, he will count on someone else! Please God! He need someone........better yet, get him the help he needs with his drinking problem.

Maybe, I will sleep peacefully tonight if Miguel doesn't interupt my beauty sleep.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

6/17/04, Thursday


6/17/04, Thursday

Miguel may not go to San Fransico after all. He want to get the umemployment checks again. Earlier this year, he tried to get them. No can do. He just walked off the job. Therefore, he wasn't able for them. This time, He have a good chance of getting them. I don't think so. He only worked on the new job for a month and he was late two times for work. Yesterday, he will let go. They give him his walking papers. I don't think the money will be that much. He might as well go to SanFran for a new beginning.

He wanted to leave that morning. He took another nap; he was still tired with no place to stay. He always could stay at the shelter. The again, he will not last long there. They will kick him out for his drinking. I finally beat Warcrat 2 as a Orc. That pretty funny. The five years I played that game, I have never beat it at all. I was stuck sometimes; it was that hard. I gave up! Poor me! Now, I have to win as a human. I think I was at the last part. Even that was hard! The Orc kept on fighting on my land. I need to see a new plan against them.

Miguel was done with his nap. He asked, "Do you find the number?" Nope, I didn't even try, but I didn't told him that. He looked it up in the phonebook then he called the operator. He called the unemployment office and gave them everything they need. He need to send the walking papers to them. It was his proof that he was fired from the job. I told him that it was best to use my PO Box, not my address. I probably may move upstairs if they let me. I need to change all the addresses to the magazines too.

After 2 PM - Miguel was running late. He wanted to get a new ID. He doesn't have one. I think he lost his old one again and again! I mentioned I was going out too; I need to buy some Dr Pepper. He gave me some money. Ohh, how sweet he was! Only when he want something in return! He waited for me outside; he doesn't want anyone to see us together. I took my coat with me. I didn't see Miguel anywhere. I walked across the street. There he was; waiting at the corner a block down. He missed the bus. We got on the bus to Alvarado. He got off the bus to catch his bus across the street. I went to Poineer Market, then I went home. I had an sald for supper.

I didn't heard from him this evening. I bet he got drunk at the clubs again and again. He mentioned he will go to the bank first, then the DMV for the new ID. I don't think he didn't make it there. He must have went directly to the clubs. I didn't stay up that late. LAst night, I went to bed after 4 AM. Warcraft 2 kept me interest. I yelled and screamed at the game. It woke Miguel up a few times. Man, I was this close of winning. Instead, I was clobbered on their land! Boy, that level was pretty hard.

Good night! Time for my beauty sleep till Miguel comes to ruin the perfect sleep, which I desparately needed.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Dear Miguel's Family


Dear Miguel's Family,
I am giving you a FAIR WARNING about Miguel Garcia.
He is a raging alcoholic; his drinking is really out of control.
I recently learned that he is homeless since earlier this year.
Miguel brought it on all by himself.
I won't have to lift a finger.
I will give him the poison.
He will drink it till he dies or get help.
I won't force him or make him to drink the poison.
After all, he really loves the taste of poison.
He don't mind the poision in his drink.
If you guys don't help him, it will be on your head if the worst happens to him.
My hands are clean of the alcoholic.
Miguel really needs help.
Please open up your eyes and see the painful truth.
At least, I told u about his out of control drinking.
Thanx for listening.

Letter Preview


To Jermahon (my good friend)
I have a pretty good ideal of what i want to say in the letter.
I haven't write the letter yet. I had a quite busy day!
For sure, i will grab their attention by their throats NO MATTER WHAT!
The letter sounds murderous and disturbing!

Here is a little preview.
I won't have to lift a finger.
I will supply the poison and Miguel will drink it all till he dies or gets help.
I won't have to force him or make him!

To Spirit Alien (That's me)
I think that sounds a bit threatening, Alien. I think you'd get better results if you just lay it out that his drinking has gotten way out of control, as has his life. As his friend, you're begging them to get the guy some help & take their heads out of the sand & realize that Miguel is life is an alcoholic & if someone doesn't get him into treatment soon, the alcohol will kill him. The way you've written it makes it sound as though you're going to give him a drink, & you'd never do that to him.

To Jermahon
I think that sounds a bit threatening,
and disturbing too!
Really, it depends on how PEOPLE LOOK at it.
I will send u a full detail email about my fool proof plan.
Hopefully, the police will not arrest me for making threats WITH POISON!
Right now, it is best to get the police involved!

The way you've written it makes it sound as though you're going to give him a drink
U could say....a "poison" drink
I am pretty good with words! hehe

then again, here is a question for everyone
what poison am i talking about?

Monday, June 14, 2004

Please Pray


Everyone, Please pray for Miguel Garcia and his family.

Miguel needs STRENGTH to stop drinking; he is a raging alcohol.

His family needs STRENGTH to open up their eyes to the PAINFUL TRUTH

Thanx for your prayers!

Sunday, June 13, 2004

New Beginning?


I had a quite day today. I didn't watch any tv or listen to the radio. It was the peace I needed. I haven't hear from Miguel till 7:30 PM. He wondered where I was and what time I will be home. Like always, I lied. "My friend's place. I will be home after the movies." He told me that I should have let him know I will be late or won't be home a certain night. Yes, I should. He does need tough love. Then he said, "If you don't want me to stay with you, u need to tell me. I can stay somewhere else. I still have my paycheck."

Miguel didn't want to wait for a long time. He didn't take a shower. He just slept in the street last night. Awww, I remembered the street quite well. The street wasn't a pretty sight at all. He really sunk to a new low. He finally got the taste of ROCK BOTTOM for the very first time in his life! It was about time too. I hoped he realized he can't depend on anyone for help. Why prolong the pain and suffering?

He need to do it all by himself. Maybe, this time could be a wake up call. He can think of what went wrong and how he got himself in the mess. It leads back to alcohol. He needs to figure it out on his own. May the love of God help him find peace and love within.

I gave him a chance, but he blow it big time. I was his last hope. He came home DRUNK two nights in a row. Last night, I didn't let him in. He was drunk again. I kept to myself. I was quite as a mouse. I truly felt sorry for him. There was NOTHING ELSE I could do.

9 PM, Miguel called me again. He want to pick up some clothes. He don't want to be a bother for me. He wants me to put some clothes in a bag for him. I told him I don't know what clothes he need. He can fix the bag himself. He said, "I will get my clothes and you won't hear from me. You can keep my stuff for the time being. I will pick it up later." I can do him that favor. He can't afford an storage.

I mentioned I was finally home; my friend dropped me off. I signed off online and turned off the computer. I put a tv pasta dinner in the microwave. I haven't eat since I had a salad in the evening time. Miguel buzzed me. I let him in. He really felt terrible. I asked," Did you eat yet? I can make you something." Nah, he didn't want to eat nor take a shower. He can take one somewhere else.

The computer was on. I signedon the web. I read the entertainment news. I ate my dinner. I hardly look at him. He mind his own business. He spoke very softly to himself as he packed his clothes in the bag. I offered him some black socks. He didn't want them. I gave him the socks any way. He need them for work. He asked, "May I use the restroom?" Of course!

He came out of the restroom. He got his things. I turned around and saw him snuck out. I yelled,"Baby!" He didn't say goodbye to me. My heart just died. He didn't even respond to me. He just went out of the door. I broke down in tears. I felt bad for mistreating him. I wanted to be there for him, but I just couldn't go on seeing him go down the toilet. I don't want the pain and sorrow in my life. ONCE WAS ENOUGH! It was so painful to watch. I care for him deeply. In a way, I didn't want him to leave. He may not survive the street. Last night was the first time he ever slept in the street. So much, I wanted to follow him. I went out to the street.

He slowly walked toward Alvardo, not Sunset Blvd. I just stood there on the sidewalk. A delivery guy drove up to bring some food. He asked," Your food?" Nope, I didn't order any thing. He took the food inside. I wondered why he went that way. I rushed back in my place. I took off the shorts and put on the pants. I took my keys and cell phone with me. I need to take a walk. Really, I wanted to trail him! I headed to Sunset. Maybe, he waited for the 304 bus. I got to Lucy's. I noticed Bus 4 at the corner. I hoped I could see him on the bus. I stood as the bus went by. I didn't see him. I wasn't that late. He had a five minutes head start.

I walked to the corner of Alvardo/Sunset. Hmm, where did he went to? I was still emotional; I put on a brave face as I looked for him. I think he was heading toward the freeway. McArthur Park was close by the freeway. I walked down a block. I saw the bus coming. I was far from the bus stop. Maybe, he got on that bus. He stayed at a motel near MrArthur Park once before. I couldn't see if he got on the bus. The trees were in the way. So, I sadly went home. My heart just left me.

Was this a new beginning for him? Only time will tell.

Miguel's Family


Really, his sister wants no parts of me whatsoever. no one in his family wants to see me at all.


I AM GLAD U ASK!! hehe

It is not because we used to be lovers.

I already TRIED to warn them about his drinking problem.

A year ago, I sent Olga, his sister, an HEART FELT letter (LINK) about his problem.

Olga never write back to me.

Now, i recently learned from Miguel that Olga is really mad and upset about the letter.

Since i sent the letter, i haven't talk to his family in a long time.

At least, I tried my best to REACH OUT to them

Talking to them is a dead end street.

I need someone.......... (are u Listening, Jeanne Cooper?) talk to his family on my behalf.

The truth.......they really DO NOT KNOW what is going on with him.

They think he is still living with his friend, Max.


I know AS A FACT that Max and miguel have a falling out. Max believed that Miguel's friend took HIS DRUGS!


Dear Lord! Now what?

I don't think Miguel's friend took the drugs at all. I strongly suspect Miguel was the one.

Wednesday, Miguel and I got his things from Max.......we were about to move the TV, the last thing to go.

Max confronted him once again about the drugs. Max wanted to know what friend.

Miguel came up with lame excuse......."I can't remember his face or name."

I didn't talk to Max about was none of my bizwax. I really care less.

Max mentioned that he will have kill Miguel for the drugs.

ONe night, Max threatemed to kill him too about the drugs. So, Miguel came to me for help.

That is how Miguel come to me about an place to stay.

Miguel moved in with Max after he lost his job and apartment earlier this year.

Back to his family....they really don't know what is going on with Miguel at all.

They did not know that Miguel is homeless nor that Miguel and I are friends again!

His faimly is so blinded by the truth; drinking problem.

They need to open up their eyes before it is too damn late.

Maybe, I should write to his sister again............make that lots and lots and lots of letters till the truth sink in to their thick heads of theirs

What is sadness that the family think Miguel have no drinking problem

What is so FREAKING FUNNY that I am the REAL VILLIAN!

Me, an villian!


Writing to them is a waste of time......

Talking to Miguel is a waste of time.....

I am the villian because I tried to warn them about his drinking problem in the letter i sent over a year ago!

yet, the family is mad at me!

they believed I trashed his good name!

Here is HARSH REALITY for his family.

If Miguel died from his drinking problem, it will be on THEIR HANDS, not mine!

I did my best to WARN them!

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Last Night 6/12


Last night, Miguel woke me up about 1:45 AM. I went to bed after midnight.

Miguel kept on knocking on the door and the window. Man, that went on between THIRTY MINUTES to an hour!

I didn't made a sound. I was quite as a mouse! I could have all the cheese i want! LOL
Miguel thought I was home by now. NOT!!!!

I am a pretty good actor! I should be on my favourite soap, Y&R or Days!

Earlier in the evening, Miguel called me on the phone. He wanted to come home.

Well, I lied my ass off big time! Oops, I take it back.........IT WAS ACTING!! hehe

I told him that I was at my friend's house. (Really, I was at my place with my good friend, Mike. I helped Mike with his flyer.)

He wondered when i will be home. I contunied to ACT.........NOT LIE, miss thing! I mentioned i will be in an hour.

Miguel told me that he will be at the chinese restuarant by 7/11. He was so hungry. I was too, but I didn't tell him!

Well, I never show up at the restaurant. I didn't want him to spend the night.

Mike finished up with his flyer and went to Kinkos. I just stay behind at home.

I didn't watch any tv or listen to the radio. Miguel will think I wasn't home yet.

Back to night............Miguel kept on knocking on the door.

A thought occurred to me.......I have to get rid of Miguel somehow.

Miguel can wake up the neighbors by all his banging. I just remembered he have a PAGER! I didn't know his number. So, I knew it was on his job resume in his daybook.

BINGO!! I called the pager.........first, 777. the noise stopped for a while. I laid in bed again.

I heard someone was buzzed in at the gate. Man, it was Miguel again, knocking on the door. He called out my name lots of time.

So, I called the pager again with my phone number!

He left to use the phone by 7/11.

He sounded so drunk on the phone.

He wondered why I was.............I lied "I was in Santa Monica with a friend at his place. We came back from the clubs. I wasn't coming home."

Miguel said that was okay. He will try to get someone to pick up for the night, then he will sleep with them at their place.

Then we hang up. I waited for another thirty minutes. Ahhh, that was no sign of him!

I can fall asleep peacefully.

Well, Miguel will be so tired for work in the morning! oh well!

My, what an wonderful alcoholic life he have! LOL

Saturday 6/12


U read The Honest Thief, didn't you? hehe

4 AM, we woke up. We both didn't get any sleep last night. He kept on moving around like a fish on dry land. Right now, I am feeling it big time.

He took an shower. I was so tired that I just stay in bed. I want to sleep again! He got dressed for work. I noticed he was looking for the money I took.........some says, "STEAL." Whatever, dude! In my self defense, I was an honest thief!

He looked everywhere for his money. I pretended I didn't know about it. He was convinced it was where he put it. Man, he was so right. I was kind enough to look for the money. Hey, after all, I was a nice person! LOL

Really, the money was rightfully mine. I paid for the U Haul truck! I had an plan in motion about the money. I will persaude him that he spent it at the clubs this past two nights. We all know that alcoholics loves to SPEND MONEY! See, I got it made! You can say that I am one sneaky fox. The Golden Egg was all mine for keeps.

He didn't have enough time to search for the money; the bus was coming any minute! I wondered what ttime he gets off. He gave me attitude, "Why? You won't answer the phone." Hello, I forgot to put the phone on the ringer. Then he left the door opened and took off. I shut the door. I slept till 10 something. I got the nerve to search through his things. There got to be something there, but what?

Hey, I can break into his bank account again. I didn't get in any trouble the last time. Boy, the fun i had in 2002. Hmmm, where to begin? Well, I got his SSI number, his sister's address and, presto, I was him online! They called it Identify Theft! Oh, boy! I stole his identify! LOL

My, I need to look out for myself. I just opened up his banking account online. In a way, I control his account. I knew where the money went; mostly the clubs and the bathhouses. I was on the verge of being homeless again, all thanx to his drinking.

I looked at his papers. So far, there was no bank statements at all. I wondered why. Then it occurred to me, he ole the IRS over $2,000. He knew the IRS will get their money from his account. Well, I was out of luck. So badly, I wanted to break into his account once again! I can easily put the money in his account; also, his first paycheck. What was I thinking? If themoney was there, Miguel will spend it all the next day at the clubs. I know Miguel pretty damn well.

I struck gold. I came upon a State Farm Insurance paper. He was in a car accident in 1990. He wanted the insurance company to pay for the accident. Dear Lord! I was suprised at all. He told me he was in a car accident long time ago; before our time together. Well, when I lived with him on Gramercy, he was in about three car accidents from........drum rolls, please...............drunk driving! He also ended up in the hospital, not from a car accident. He coughed up blood at work from drinking too much alcohol. During that time, he found out that he was HIV +, thanx to me.

I still need to scan the insurance paper, among other things I will get sooner or later. I don't know why his family is in denied about his drinking problem. All the signs was there since the1990's. Yet, they don't want to accept the fact. Well, they have to WAKE UP before it's too damn late. I tried to tell them in a letter last year. Man, Olga got mad at me for saying such a thing. Oh well, I did my best with his family.

I put up his papers. I will look at them again soon. I will read all of them and scan them. If no one believes me, maybe the scan papers will open their eyes to the real truth; Miguel is a alcoholic. I will say it again. MIGUEL IS AN ALCOHOLIC!

I got the $130. I will use some to pay the phone bill and put the rest in a safe place where Miguel can't find it. I found the "lost $10." It was in my pants all this time. I thought I lost the money in the street when I went to Poineer Market. I put on the clothes and shoes. I wanted for the bus by 7/11. Michael called me, "I will be there in one hour." I told him I need to go to the bank and please don't leave my place. I got on the Sunset bus. I paid the phone bill. I took the subway to the bank. I put the money in my account. I wanted to stop by Circuit City for Super Mario Bros. I want that game again! I hink I will go some other time. I went home.

Michael arrived for his email and the flyer. I told him about Miguel; he came home drunk. He asked, "Is Miguel an voilent drunk?" Dear lord! This was the truth. Miguel was an happy drunk. He have never ever hit me once. He gave me his business card. It really look nice. I helped him with the flyer as I played Bomberman.He was really excited with the outcome. I noticed the missing person on the flyer. I mentioned it was GOING TOO FAR! He recently started doing the astrology for his new income. He recently made $40 from his lady. I really don't believed in that crap at all. We make our own lifes. We don't need to stars and the moon to make our lifes. He really knows the astrology quite well. He have been learning for years. He was ready to take on the world with the stars and the moon!

5:37 PM, an SOBER Miguel called me. He tried to make nice with me. He wanted to come straight home after work. I lied, "I was at a friend's house. I can meet you there in an hour." Then, he will get something to eat at the chinese restaurant by 7/11 till I meet him there. Yeah, whatever! Still, we have to talk about the two nights. We can't put it off any longer.

Michael sent another email and eat some Tuna. He doesn't want to be here when Miguel gets here. I decided I won't watch any tv this evening. I just don't want to blown my cover. I don't want him here tonight. I need some TIME ALONE! So farm, so good. Miguel haven't knock on the door or window. He believed I was really out with a friend!

People, sometimes we got to lie as long it is a GOOD REASON!

Honest Thief


What can I say? This morning, Miguel almost found me out about the $130 money. Well, I was trying to save him some money. This past two nights, he came home DRUNK as a skunk! Since he wants to get drunk, he won't be drunk at my place any more. I put my foot down for once and for all. Then again, was i that honest about the money?

I was an honest thief! Was there a such thing as a honest thief? Hmm. It really depends on your look at it. Miguel promised me that he will pay me back for renting the U Haul truck on Wednesday. So far, he haven't. So, I took upon myself and pay me back with his own money. At the rate he was going this past two nights, it looked like he won't pay me back at all. I was looking for my best interest. You guys will probably do the same exact thing. You will steal your money back!

That is the God honest truth! See, I am an honest thief! LOL

Friday, June 11, 2004

Damn Miguel!


We woke up at 4 AM. He needs to work at 6 AM again. He got ready. He said, "I love you." I didn't even respond to him. I was still mad about last night. He can't come home drunk again. Last night was the final straw. I really thought I was helping him out. Boy, I need to put a stop to it. He can't do it any more. I won't allow it. This was my home. He won't mess up my safe haven at all. He said, "I love you" again. Those words was empty; it doesn't mean anything to me. He went to work.

Today felt like the weekend. There was no soaps because of the Ronald Reagan Funeral. I turned on the TV. Much to my suprised, Bold & Beautiful was on! Say what? The soaps wasn't on today. Every network showned the funeral! Man, I hoped I didn't miss Y&R again! I missed it last monday. I forgot to put the tape it. It looked like I missed Y&R again. Days Of Our Lives wasn't on at 1 PM, but As The World Turns and One Life to Live was on. I wantedto see OLTL; ABC didn't come in clearly. So, I watched ATWT. James Steinbeck was talking to the camera in prison. It was hard not to change the channel. James was quite fagulous.

I looked at CBS site. I found that some areas saw today's Y&R and some didn't. That's good to know. Thank God that I didn't miss my favourite soap! Yesterday, Kevin Fisher told his mother that he was going to Canada; the police was after him again; he escaped the mental hospital. Kevin opened the door and saw his half brother, Michael Baldwin. Michael knew Kevin was at their mom's place in Detroit. Michael doesn't know that the police is trailing him to find Kevin! Y&R is the best soap today; Kevin and Michael are awesome as brothers! We just can't get enough of them and Joan Van Ark as their mother, Gloria Fisher! Most Y&R fans love them very much.

From CBS web site......

Please Note: Due to special CBS News coverage of President Ronald Reagan’s funeral services on Friday, June 11, Y&R will be fully preempted on the East Coast. But you won’t miss a thing! Friday’s episode of Y&R will air on Monday. On the West Coast, a classic episode of Y&R or Price will air.

I watched Passions too. I gave up that boring soaps few months ago. I was fed up with the slowest moving storylines! It was the same old storylines! Ivy want to see Eve; they need to stop Eve's sister, Liz, from destroying their lifes. They both got drunk in Eve's office. Eve mentioned that she was the one who injured TC long time ago. It wasn't Julian's fault. Some hitman tried to kill Martin and Katherine. Martin and hinm fought over the gun. The gun went off. Katherine believed that Martin was dead. Suddenly, the hitman noticed he was shot. Martin and Katherine was relieved. Martine wants her to leave the city; she refused. Martin wanted to dump the body. They didn't know that Alistair was watching from afar. Alistair want Martin dead for stealing his wife! And so on and so on.......

Michael called me throughout the day. The death and the funeral took a toll on him. He can't stop crying; it was too emotional for him. I care less about Ronald Reagan's funeral. I was not that interest. Ronald was no JFK! I got some money from Miguel. He wouldn't mind at all. I need to get some french dressing and dr. Pepper. I brought the stuff at Poineer. Most times, I get my soft drinks there. It is always .99 cent. I waited for the bus. Michael called me. HE want me to look up an address for him on the web. He will call back in 20 minutes. I put the stuff away. I couldn't find the address. Oh well, he find the address in his book. Michael said "I will come over to do an flyer for astrology job tomorrow."

Once again, Miguel didn't showed up again. 5 PM came with no signs of him. I figured that he doesn't want to face me about last night. He knows I was pretty upset with him. Low and behold, Miguel come home DRUNK AGAIN after 11 PM! Hello! Now, i was really angry with him. Two times in a row, HELL NO! I posted my troubles on the soap forum! Jermahon always listens to me; she is a great help! She was like a second mother.

Miguel was passed out cold on the bed. I checked his bag and pants. My God! He hardly have any money, except a few dollars. Man, I wanted the BIG money! I found his secret money; $130. I hid it from him. He won't spend a dime of that money. He got to save his damn money! I found something very interesting in his daybook. Would you believed that Miguel already got his first paycheck from his new job? Miguel didn't tell me at all. That sneaky bastard! Now, he have no reason to stay with me. He can stay at the hotel. Well, I have to tell him that he must leave. If he wants to come home drunk; he can do it at the hotel!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Thursday 6/10/04


I came upon another average BORING day. My days are usually like that, pretty freaking boring. That is why I haven't did my journal this past few months. There was nothing exciting to write about. Some boring life I have!

We woke up about 4 AM. Miguel goes to work at 6 AM. He always leave by 4:45 AM to catch the bus. He mentioned he gets off at 5 PM. Sometimes, I don't go back to sleep. It was hard to go back to sleep. By 4:45 AM comes around, I will be wide awake. I tried to fell asleep. Once I woke up, my day begins. One time, Miguel woke up at 4 AM. That same night, I didn't went to bed till he left for work. There was no sense of going to sleep at 1/2 AM. Two/three hours sleep won't cut it for me.

I couldn't able to fell asleep. I had things to do. I watched KTLA morning news for a while. I ate breakfast. I cleaned the U Haul truck. Some stupid teen wrote on the passanger door. I washed it off. I took the truck back. I picked up the mail at the post office. I brought some video games at Best Buy and Target. I went home.

I looked at the time; 6 PM. Hmm. Miguel didn't come home yet. It was getting late. I waited another hour. There was no sign of him. I got hungry. I ate an tv dinner. There was no reason to cook for Miguel. It was still late. Couple more hours, Miguel was still out. I wondered what happen to him. He said he will be home by 5. It was about 10. Miguel haven't call either. He know the phone number by heart. I wasn't online all the much in the evening. He could have buzz me. I had enough of the boredom and signed online again.

I got tired of waiting. The sleep was getting to me. I just went to bed. I haven't getting any sleep lately. Miguel wake up at 4/5 AM for work. My sleep pattern went to hell. I normally go to bed about 1 AM and get up late. I was in a deep sleep. I heard a noise from outside of the window. At first, I thought I was dreaming. No, it was only Miguel saying my name and knocking on the window. I didn't want to get up at all. I was in sleep mode.

I tapped on the window. I put on the shorts. Most times, I sleep in the nude. I started last year. Miguel loves to sllep naked. It was like that since we lived together on Gramercy few years ago. He wanted me to sleep in the nude. I refused; I knew what will happen. Whenever my friends spend the night, no nude in bed.

I let him in the door. DEAR LORD! He came home drunk! So much, I wanted to talk to him. Mother Nature was calling me! I returned to him in the room. He was already laying down on the floor with his white blanket. I tried to get him to the bed. He wanted to left alone; "nobody cares for him." Hello, I do care! I was letting him to stay with me for two weeks. I got in the bed, eyes closed. Miguel took a shower. I put the white blanket on the bed and went back to bed. I really hate when someone sleeps on the floor; my bed is BIG enough for three people!

I turned on the tv; I couldn't sleep. Taxi was on. Miguel ate something at the desk; he was that drunk. We watched Oprah for a while; Nate was on. I like Nate; one handsome dude. The Ugliest Room was back. I think I saw this one before. Miguel jumped in bed. The TV was off.

So much, I wanted to talk to him. He just can't come home drunk at all. I never ever want to relive history again! Once was enough. Now, he can't mess up at all. I was his only hope. He had no place else to go. He doesn't want to live with his sister in Whittier nor his ex lover's place in West Hollywood. What can I do? It was late to talk to him. He won't listen to my words. Well, I might as well talk to him tomorrow!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Wednesday 6/9/04


Miguel wanted to buy some black dress pants at Out Of the Closet, not the gay closet! LOL. The Closet is a thift store. We took the bus to downtown LA for the sub way. We got off at Bob Hope square. That's Hollywood/Vine corner to u! He tried to call Max about his stuff; no such luck.

He told me to wait for him at the corner. I was glad I brought the gameboy with me. I waited for a long time. He finally called me, "meet me at gay center." I arrived, "let's get a Taxi Van." It was a bad ideal; the bed will not fit. So, I brought up U Haul. We were down the street. He thought it was on Santa Monica/Highland. Nope, U Haul was near the banks on Vermount.

I was there a few times. Robert and I rented a truck to move from Miguel's place on Cherokee in 2002. The moment I got my Waterloo place, I didn't want to wait at all. Without telling MigueL, I moved! Much to my suprise, Miguel was there, passed out on the bed.

Any way, We took the bus Hollywood/Vine. Miguel need to use the restroom. The Frolic Room was closed. We hoped on the subway. I was thisclose to mention that he can use the restroom at the hospital. Suddenly, he got off the subway even before I had a chance to tell him about the hospital. We went to a place. I brought a coke to use the restroom. U know the drill, Customers Only rule! So, we both used it. He brougth a bag of chips. We were on the way. We got off the bus.

I said "I need to get some money. LEt's be on the safe side." He waited for me at the bus stop. I got the cash. We went to U Haul. I paid in cash for the truck; Miguel didn't have no credit card or ID. I had the credit card, ID AND two phone numbers. It was my first time to drive an U HAUL truck! Man, I was nervouse as hell. I hate driving big things except my own! Hehe.

We picked up his stuff. I saw Max confronted Miguel about the drugs. Max wants to know who took his drugs. Miguel can't remember his name. I really think Miguel was the one. I didn't talk to Max about it; it was none of my bizwax. Max mentioned that he would have kill him for taking his drugs. We got home; Miguel was in great pain; his muscle popped out during the move. We rested for a while. He drank some alcohol to cease the pain. He showed me the muscle; it was really bad. He finally popped the muscle back in. we rested more then we unpacked his things!