Homeless

By Kazz Falcon

I was homeless
I came upon bad times
I wasn't an alcoholic or a druggie
I lost my job
The boss laid me off after 10 years
I couldn't find another job
I never thought I will be homeless
Man, I still can't believe it
I can't stand living on the street
It was very dangerous
I saw things that can get me kill
I tend to stay away from those people
Some of them can't be trusted
They will rob you blind
I don't want to continue living in a shelter
I can't sleep at night
The food was bad
There was some nuts in the joint
I really need help
I was scared to death
By the grace of God, I will not be homeless

8/31/04 Tuesday

Happy

I got up early. It was time to get the free bus pass at APLA. That is the only thing I need from them. I took 304 to the subway. The light turned green. I walked across the street. I noticed someone standing at the door. It looked like an old friend. I called out, "Sean!" Nothing happened. I truly felt like I know him. I walked up the stairs. I called out his name again. This time, he heard me. Man, we haven't seen it each for a long time. Sean was Robert's ex.

He mentioned he was so moved by God in the church. When he heard my voice, he thought an angel was talking to him! ROFL. Yes, guys, I am an angel and don't forget that! hehe. We caught up old times. I mentioned it was too hot to talk in the sun. We went over to the shade. We continued to talk. Robert poked his finger at me. I didn't see him there all along. He was talking to this one guy. My mind was on Sean!

I told them I was still at the same place and, hopefully, moving to an one bedroom apartment on Western/Sunset at the end of the year. They offered to help me move. Robert and Taylor helped me the last time I moved from Miguel's on Cherokee in September 2002. Taylor was another ex of Robert's! Miguel was my ex. He said, "I have the paper work from APLA." They asked, "What are you doing now?" I said, "I need to pick up the bus pass." Robert haven't got a bus pass in a long time. Robert asked about Taylor - we haven't seen him in a few months. He thought he lived with Michael. As far I know, he still lives on Gower. Taylor have'nt check him email in months.

We walked to APLA. Robert mentioned he was getting movies from the web, the current ones like Spiderman 2, Shrek 2 and more. We went to the third floor for the bus pass. It was on the second floor few months ago. We got the passes. I asked, "what are you doing now?" Sean invited me to go with them to the pawn shop. We walked down the stairs to outside. Robert wanted to get some food. We went to the food bank behind APLA. I waited outside. Robert came out; his card expired. He need new everythng. APLA need to update his case every year. Sean came out too. Robert told him the same thing. Sean mentioned that he will be moving to the valley tomorrow. It was time to get his own place.

We got in Sean's new "old" car. I thought it was new. His last car was two passangers. Robert offered to get in the back. Nah, I can sit in the back. They mentioned that Sean brought a new laptop for work; Mike ruined the last one. Mike used to work for him. We arrived at the pawn shop, near the cable company a block away. Sean need to pick up his sword and a watch. We looked around. I mentioned to Robert, "for the old things, this is very expensive!" They have about everything there.......guitars, rings, watches, coins and others. I put the sword on my hip to carry it. We continued to look around. Robert likes this clock that he wanted Sean to buy for him, an early birthday present. He thought I wanted to buy it for him.

I saw a chinese picture in the back room. It cost over $500. Man, i really love that picture. I was tempted to get it. I can't afford it thou. I was drawn to the chinese as much as Hollywood, itself. I have lots of Buddas at my place. Rub his stomach, u will get good luck! I still want to join an Budda religion for a while. I haven't find an church yet. Someday, I will. We were ready to leave. Sean didn't know where his sword was. Robert mentioned I have it, that bastard! hehe. I hoped I could play with Sean for a little while.

We went to the car. I said, "Sean, you need to open the trunk first." Robert's door was already open. We were hungry. I didn't eat breakfast. We decided to eat Fatburgers. I haven't been there since the last 90's. We ordered burger, fries and coke. We waited for our food. We chatted awhile. Sean brought up my ex. I finally admitted that I was having sex with my ex. Sean guessed right! I told them that Miguel called me out of the blue last year. I didn't tell them that Miguel used to stay with me for a while at Waterloo. Robert remembered how Miguel was with me when i moved out. No biggie thou. Miguel and I were friends as much as Sean/Robert were.

We ate our lunch. Sean wondered where I want to go. I mentioned, Home. I can do the errands tomorrow. I can get the rent money and pay the bills. Robert got off in the street when the light was still RED. It reminds me of Happy Days! I got in the front seat. We talked for a while. He wondered why Robert and I don't hang out. He told me that Robert told him that we were doing our own thing; which was true. Really, I don't want to hang out with him; Robert never ever pay me back the $200 he oles me. I kept it inside of me. Sean mentioned they haven't been getting along; Robert was an grouch in the morning. LOL.

Sean wanted to use my phone; he need to call his friend in the valley. He supposed to go her place after he drops me off. We arrived to my place. I invited him in; this was his first time to be at my place. He was impressed; he likes it alot. Sean brought up my money. I showed him the checks. He gave me an bright ideal. I should put the checks in CDs; let my money grows, not sit there. I have been wanting to do that for the longest time, but I don't know nothing much about the CDs. Sean offered to helped me. He tried to get in contact with his friend online; nope, she wasn't on. Sean used the phone again. He gave me his email; he don't have the web any more. We hugged. He went to his friend's,

Losing Focus

By Kazz Falcon

I was working on a book
It was due by December 2004
I had a month left
Everything was going smoothly
I ran into an old friend
I haven't seen him since childhood
We caught up on old times
We hung around a lot
I completely forgotten about the book
We had so much fun
I was smittened by him
We spent every waking moment together
We can't get enough each other
I moved in with him
I put everything on hold
I did everything for him
I cooked
I cleaned
I took out the trash
I loved him so much
There was something missing
I felt I was lost
I wasn't happy
Don't get me wrong
Our love was still strong
I missed writing very much
That I lost focus

Was I Innocense?

By Kazz Falcon

I ran into some trouble
I don't recall what happen thou
I woke up with a massive headache
I had blood on my hands
I searched around
I came upon a bloody body in the restroom
I wondered what happened
Everything was a blurr to me
I picked up the knife from the body
Someone rushed in with the police
He accused me that I killed someone with a knife
I was scared that I didn't know what to say
He saw it with his own eyes
Man, what have I done?
I wasn't capable of murder
I couldn't do such a thing
I had no reason at all
The police noticed my eyes was red shot
Things weren't looking good for me
My fingerprints was on the knife
The guy mentioned I was out of control
That my anger gotten the best of me
I went on a rampage
I destroyed everything in sight
I wanted revenge against my dead lover
I had it with his lies and deciet
I couldn't take it any more
Did it really happened that way?
Damn, I want the pain to go away
I don't know what to believe
I wished I can remember
The police arrested me for murder
Was I innosense?

Miguel's Family

Hopeful

Copyright © 2004 Kazz Falcon

Miguel’s Family
By Kazz Falcon

By now, some of you know that Miguel have a alcohol/drug problem. This is not about me. This is not about his family. This is about him and his problems.

8/27/04, Friday - Miguel called me on the phone. He mentioned that the night before he CONFESSED to Marcelia and her family about his drug problem; only the kids doesn’t know. He demanded that they can’t tell his other family members. Olga, are you listening?

I really believed it is a big mistake. They must tell everyone in his family. It wasn’t fair for either Olga and me, personally if they keep the so called secret from the rest of the family. Olga and I have friction; she doesn’t like me for “spreading hateful lies about Miguel in person and the web.”

Marcelia, please tell the whole family. Everyone will be better off, mostly Miguel, Olga and me. Then, Olga will stop believing I am the bad guy. Last year and few weeks ago, I told Olga in a letter/post card that he has a drinking problem.

Olga confronted him about the letter. Miguel covered up the truth to her. She believed HIS LIES!

Few months later, Miguel mentioned to me that Olga WANTED an apology from me.

Well, Olga. Sorry, but you are NEVER gonna to get one from me. All this time, I was telling the truth and Miguel lied to you.

The fact is I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE! What do I mean by that? Miguel alcohol/drug problem is no longer my burden. After all, Marcelia and her family knows the truth!

Olga, therefore, you can’t see me as the VILLAIN! I have one thing to say to you.

IN YOUR FACE, OLGA!

Olga, I won’t say sorry about his drinking. But, honestly, I ole your family and you an apology for SOMETHING ELSE. Yes, I lied about the trip.

Sometimes, we need to lie. Why I lied? Because Miguel will track me down. I didn’t want any part of him whatsoever. His drinking DROVE ME AWAY!

Once again, this is not about his family or me. It is about Miguel himself.

It is best that everyone knowsabout his drinking, including the kids. The friction with Olga and me will FINALLY end.

Like the old saying, the truth will set you free.

Miguel promised Marcelia that he will stop using drugs. Honestly, I really don’t see that happening. I have been around Miguel long enough to know better. He made me homeless. October 2001, he was driving drunk. He lost the car, his job and his apartment.....oops, our apartment. December 2001, He moved back to Olga’s and left me on the street.

Olga, are you listening? I have every right to be MAD at him. No one have the right to be MAD at me, Olga. Got that? Yes, the truth hurts.

Do you know what? I wasn’t angry at all. I was grateful to be homeless. I was FINALLY free from his drinking problem. I wasn’t happy living with him.

Thank God! I was homeless for six months in early 2002. God gave me a much needed break. September 11, 2002 - he gave me my own Section 8 apartment on Waterloo.

I am MUCH BETTER off without Miguel in my life. After today, Miguel may not be in the life any more. As long he continues drinking and doing drugs, I don’t want him in my life.

My life with Miguel is over since the day he made me homeless. I really don’t need him in my life nor his family. I am doing better without his family and him.

You need to confront him as the WHOLE family. Some certain family is hurting him and themselves in the long run. Vice versa. Some family believed I was lying. That’s right, Olga!

You ALL need to come together, including the kids, to help him AT ANY COST.

Please help him before it’s too damn late. Death may be lurking.

This is a fair warning. Miguel wants to move to Palm Springs. That really tells me that he want NO HELP at all. Honestly, Miguel is RUNNING AWAY from his problems.

Marcelia’s family haven’t see Miguel in three full years, nor me. We lost many years without Miguel and without each other. Do you want it to be another three years,five years, seven years or something else will happen like suicide?

His life is really out of control. Few days ago, even Marcelia’s family noticed it. I didn’t even to tell them! They learned on their own. So badly, I wanted to tell them in the post card, the same post card I sent to Olga.

At this very moment, he don’t want to stop. He doesn’t want to let go of the past. He covered up his pain by drinking and drugs. All this time, he really believed that his family doesn’t love him because he is gay. Even the friction with Keiko and their mother made him to drink and do drugs. I, myself, believed they don’t love him.

I don’t expect for Miguel to get help any time soon. He haven’t hit rock bottom yet. Yes, he tasted it a few times already. Yet, he keep on depending on some friends for help.

June 2004 - I tried my best to help him. I took him in for a while. Man, that was the biggest mistake of my life. I was hoping he already change for the better. In reality, I was just fooling myself. Sometimes, he will come home drunk from the clubs. I couldn’t take his drinking any longer. I wasn’t happy living with him. It was a living nightmare. So, I kicked him out. He left on June 13, 2004, Sunday

Few days later, he called me. He begged me for another chance. I was STUPID ENOUGH to let him to come back. The freaking problem started again!

August 2004 - One Saturday night, my friends and I saw him drunk on the street. Miguel was waiting for me to come home. I finally made up my mind. He will not stay with me anymore. Later, I found out from some neighbors that the police escorted him out of the complex because he was drunk. He left an alcohol bottle behind.

The next few days, I didn’t talk to Miguel at all. I was really angry at him. Thanx to him, I could have lost my place. He will have made me homeless AGAIN! He didn’t take a shower, had any clothes on him or money! Hey! Somebody needs to give him tough love. Once again, he tasted rock bottom. I refused to talk to him. I won’t even let him to pick up some clothes.

Miguel found a place to crash. Hmm, he was depending on a friend. What’s that? Oh, yes. Co-dependency. It was another sign of alcoholism. A week later, he finally picked up his things on a Friday evening. He was a big mess. We didn’t talk much.

Miguel was in the restroom. I put a letter in the side pocket of his place. Later, he found the letter. I grabbed it from him. I didn’t want him to read it right now. I put the letter in my shorts.He was in the restroom again. This time around, I put the letter on top of his clothes in his bag. He rested for a while on my bed. He watched TV for a little while.

Miguel was ready to go to the bus stop. I offered to walk him. He can’t carried the two bags by himself. We waited for Bus 304. The bus came. I put the bag on ths bus. He mentioned he will call me when he get home. I stayed on the bus till the next stop. I went home. A while later, he called.

Much later in the night, Miguel called again and THANK ME for the letter. He knows he has a drinking problem. The next day, we chatted for a while. I mentioned I can’t help him in any way. I was sick and tired of his drinking. He mentioned that he need to help himself first. He can’t get the help he needs. He doesn’t want any help with the problem.

Miguel loves drugs/drinking more than he loves us. ALCOHOL IS A DRUG TOO.

Miguel, now you know why I don’t love you any more. There was no way to love you. Your drinking ended our love long time ago. It DESTROYED our love AND my life. Your love is not worth the pain and suffering. I am much better without you in my life. Good riddance, Miguel.

The rest is up to you, Miguel’s family. This is about Miguel, not us.

This is the best time to have an intervention. What are you going to do?

One Year Anniversary

Happy

This is my first entry. Don't worry. I won't probe you - not yet anyway! LOL I came in this world in 1969, where I, somehow, born to human beings! I don't have the slightest ideal how that happen. Then again, I should know. I am an alien. hehe I travelled through many miles to get where I am comfortable in life. Some humans just don't treat me right. I left home to find my own kind of aliens. I am a gentle soul with love to offer. I got to go now. Till the next time, I seek out love, peace and understanding among the humans.


What u just read was my FIRST EVER POST on August 27, 2003.

Yeah, today was my one year anniversary of EARTH JOURNAL!

Time sure flies when we have fun. Some months, I was not active in this journal.

There was nothing to write if life is that freaking boring.

I promised I will do my best to be active for this journal.

After all, it's all about me and then some! Gossip! Scandals! Juicy bits! Fun facts! Even the BIZARRE!

Congratulations to me!

Drug problem

Surprised

9:48 PM - Miguel called me. He wanted to say goodnight, I love you. I asked him about toight. She cooked lots of food; they had a wonderful meal.

His family really like me. Marcelia ALWAYS likes me since day one. They are proud of me; they liked my apartment.

All this time, he thought his brother hate him for being gay. Nope, he loves him no matter what.
He brought up that Mikey knows that he is gay. His brother was mad at him for telling him. It wasn't Mikey's business to know.

His family noticed he wasn't the same person; they want the OLD Miguel back. Miguel explained he had a drug problem. He met the "drug friends" at the clubs. He like shooting up a lot. It made him to feel good. HE told them that he will try to quit. I doubt that. His family loves him very much and cares for him. He doesn't like his life at all; it is going down in the toilet.

He may moved to Palm Springs. He can live at his friend's house. He can get a job; there are many restuarants. In a way, he doesn't want to move; he will miss me.

The End?

By Kazz Falcon

I had a good run at the movies
I was a popular actor
My fame wandered away
Some other dude took my place
I was no longer in the spotlight
I wanted the fame to last
Then again, nothing lasts forever
I was depressed
I won't have the attention of the fans
I never thought that day will come
I loved being an actor
It was time for something else
I need to start over
Man, why does it need to end?
I was comfortable in the spotlight
The fame was really over for me
I became a Regular Joe
I won't cry because the fame's over
I smiled because it happened!
It wasn't the end

Another Lifetime

Happy

Another Lifetime
By Kazz Falcon

I went back to the past
Things were quite different
Back then, I was homeless
I managed to survive the street
I had my own place in Hollywood
I grown a lot since then
I became a better person - physically and mentally
Life couldn't be any better
I was proud I accomplished many things
I couldn't make it without the shelter's help
I won't forget the experience
It's hard not to
The shelter came at a much needed time
I was grateful to have the shelter
I continued on the right path
I wasn't the same person
I won't mess up ever again
Or I will not depend on someone's help
I have to make it on my own
I felt so good to succeed
Sometimes, we need to go back to the past
We won't forget our roots
After all, it was another lifetime

8/25/04 Wed

Happy

6 AM - I woke up early. I ate some honeycombs and drank milk. I checked the posts online.

7:45 AM - I went to the bus stop. The 304 bus didn't even stop for us! The nerve of them! I said, "DAMN!" A lady mentioned it was rude. The Sunset bus showed up. I pondered to take it or not. I made up my mind. Oh well, I may be late. I took it to Civil Center. The subway took me to Beverly/Vermount.

Wow, I was too early! I got there at 8:30 AM. Eric signed me in. I waited in the big area. To past up the time, I did my art. Eric showed up, "Another five minutes for people to show up." We went to the courtroom about the job interview. I was quite bored with it. One lady won't even shut up at all; she kept on going and going. The class lasted till 10 AM. So, I went home. I noticed the tape wasn't in the VCR! It was a good thing I came home when I did.

8/24/04 Tuesday

Happy

6:40 AM - I woke up. I ate some cereal and drink milk. I went online for a while. It was cold, but not that cold. I left the coat behind unlike yesterday. I went to same way to Path. This time, I was the first one there. Other came. Eric, a worker, said, "We should wait about 5 minutes for more people to show up." Of course, more showed up. Molly explained we will take a test on the computer. We took our stuff with us.

We sat down at the computers. I zoomed the test. There was about 137 questions. I was done first. Eric printed out the test. Eric complimented it was good to be artistic. ALL RIGHT! I mostly answered Hollywood stuff like a play, acting, singing, dancing. The test was right on the money! Hollywood is so me! The next test was short, mostly about work. Achievement was the most important to me. Once again, the test was right. about me. Molly asked, "Do I need a resume?" I said, "Nope." But I will love to get off the lazy money. It will make me to feel so good.
I went back to the main room and waited. Others came back in doves. The flamboyant black guy finally arrived. He just took both tests. I was the first one to talk at Eric's desk. He wanted to update my file. He expalined that the teacher was on vacation; he will be back by Sept 6. I was all set now. Good, two more days to go. Damn, that was fast. I was there about 40 minutes. I had time to get some burrentos. I took the subway to Ralphs. Nah, it wasn't worth it. 3 for $1. I walked to Food For Less. I hit the jackpot. 4 for .98 cent! I brought a truckload.

I went home. Ron showed up to use the computer. I watched the soaps and ate two burrentos. Miguel called me; he claimed he will always loves me. He started to cry and hung up! I forgot to ask about the money. I still need to know! Then I can fill out his papers for housing! Funny thou, I asked him about housing; he didn't call them yet. Ron went home. I went online for a while.

Mike called me about 3 PM to come over. Ron showed up again to play video games. Mike showed up for the computer. I played video games with Ron. The game was so loud. I turned it down. Later, Mike revealed he can't think when the game was loud. Ron and I kicked ass, we finished the whole game.

I came back from the restroom; Ron was gone. I played Joust. Ron showed up again. He picked up his special cig and left again. I watched Fox 11. Mike was finally done. I made some Mac & Cheese. We ate the food. Mike went home about 8. I watched my shows. Time for bed! Night, guys!

8/23/04 Monday

Happy

I got up early about 6:55 AM. Once again, I hate getting up early! I am a NIGHT person! I ate some cereal. I left about 7:50 to 304. I could have went the other way to Santa Monica; it was faster. I like taking the subway. I took the subway to Wilshire/Vermount, then the subway to Beverly/Vermount. I walked to Path. I was about 15 minutes earlier. Some people was already there for the orientation. Some of them was gay. A black guy was so flamboyant!

Molly, the teacher, showed up and explained everything. 30 minutes laters, the fire alarm went off. Well, damn it! I really don't miss the shelter at all. A few times, the fire alarm went off when I lived there two years ago. Some things never change. Everyone went to the street. I noticed a lady from few years ago. She remembered me. Then, Sam saw me. He was happy to see me. I told him that I was here for the computer class. Sam brought up my pot belly. I rolled my eyes. It was time to get rid of it.

The place was safe. Everyone went back in. We took the test. I was the first one done. I was outta there. I remembered the tape wasn't in the VCR. Damn, I was about to miss the soaps. I was thinking of going to Ralphs for burrentos, but I wasn't feeling it. So, I made it on time for the soaps.

The rest of the day, I just relax. I took a shower. Mike called, "he want to come over tomorrow; he needs to write somethng for a book." He was pretty excited about his first book. his friend will tell her publisher about him. He has a good chance to be publish! I checked the posts/email. I was tired. I turned in early.

Human Skin

By Kazz Falcon

The human skin was taking over this alien
I have to get out of the human skin
It really doing a number on this alien
The emotions was clouding my judgment
I was losing control of my inner being
I was becoming too human for my own good
I can't give in to the human skin.
It was suffocating the life out of me
I could hardly breathe
The skin was getting too tight on me
I don't like what the skin was doing to me
I must find my own kindI truly felt trapped
Damn, I was in danger of losing myself
I don't want to lose touch with the aliens
It was ruining my chances of reuniting with the aliens
I won't remember my former self
Please! I need to go home
The skin was holding me hostage against my will
I must fight the dreadful human skin

Damn Virus

Angry

Before it gets late, nothing really happened today. It was an quite day. This afternoon, I recieved a damn virus on the computer. I used Norton Anit Virus. Well, the homepage was whacked! THe more times I fixed the homepage, it ended up on the sleaze! It was frustrated too. I thought fixing the homepage will do the trick! No way, no how!

On my slow days, I will post my art in Earth Journal


Different Set Of Rules
By Kazz Falcon

It was so true for gays/straights people
Gays can't be lovey dovey in public
Straights can
Gays can't be married
Straights can
Gays can't raise children
Straights can
Gays can't be themselves
Straights can
Gays don't have enough rights
Straights do
It have been like this FOREVER
When will the rules end?
We must do something
The rules weren't fair for the gays
I know what you were going to say"Life isn't fair"
We had the power to make it better
Let’s grant the gays the same set of rules

Lost Document

Angry Disco Night - KBIG

Lost Document
By Kazz Falcon

This morning, I was pretty upset with me.
I wrote a beautiful poem about Strange Presence.
I paid more attention to the web than the art.
I closed the document.
For some reason, it didn't save my art.
Damn, I quickly opened it up.
The worst happened, the art wasn't save at all.
I got mad and screamed out loud.
I couldn't believe I lost the art.
I tried to remember the poem.
I didn't have such luck.
I knew the first two lines and few lines in between.
I couldn't think of the rest.
I thought too hard that I had a brain fart! LOL
That's what we get for thinking too hard.
I gave up remembering it.
I normally save each time I type something down.
This time, I didn't.
That really sucks.

8/21/04 Saturday

Happy KBIG 104

This morning, I was pretty upset with me. I wrote a beautiful poem about Strange Presense. I paid more attention to the web than the art. I closed the document. For some reason, it didn't save my art. Damn, I quickly opened it up. The worst happened, the art wasn't save at all. I got mad and screamed out loud. I couldn't believe I lost the art.

I tried to remember the poem. I didn't have no such luck. I knew the first two lines and few lines in between. I couldn't think of the rest. I thought too hard that I had a brain fart! LOL That's what we get for thinking too hard. I gave up remembering it. I normally save each time I type something down. This time, I didn't. That really sucks.

It was cool out. It just like living in San Fransico. I won't mind living there! I pondered about taking my coat. I checked the weather online. I don't need the coat. By afternoon, it will be hot. Besides, I hate carrying a coat on hot days. I took 304 bus. I played Tetris. The bus made a detour. It was time for Sunset Junction. We were in traffic about ten minnutes, then we were on our way.

A lady got on the bus at La Brea. She accidently hit me with her backpack and sat down. I looked at her. She mentioned she was sorry. Then her friend sat besides her. I won Tetris for the upteenth time! Man, I was that good now. I got off the bus. I picked up the mail. Miguel FINALLY got some mail! Then again, it wasn't the mail he wanted - his ID. I opened up his mail. Good, they sent the application. I went to the bus stop. I went through the application. I can do the application for him when I get home. I mostly know about his situation. The bus picked us up.

I looked at the application really good. All I need to know about much money Miguel gets. That was the one thing I don't know. The rest was easy to fill out. I put it in the packback. The bus took a detour. Mike called me. I told him that he can come over. He can't wait to do the guy's chart. I mentioned he needs to go to another way. Silverlake was a big mess. I told him that Sunset Juction was this weekend. He will take third to Alvarado. We hunged up. I just went home.

8/20/04 Friday

Happy

I didn't do anything that much today. I mostly tend to my art all day long. I did a good number of art in a long time. That was fagulous. I watched the soaps like always. I checked Earth Journal for more art. It was really a slow day; nothing much to talk about. Mike called me after 5 PM. I lied that Miguel was here. I told him I can send Miguel on his way. Mike laughed! He was still researching the one guy's chart. He will come over this weekend.

I listened to the radio. I was online. I got depressed. Some life I had. There wasn't nothing much to the life. Same old crap. Maybe, my life will change for the better when I move to Sunset/Western. I really hope so. I had a fun time at Gower few years ago. My friends came over all the time about every day. These days, I hardly see any of them

Well, this one was a very short one. I mentioned there was nothing much to talk about. So, I was signing off...........good night.

Invalid Gay Marriages

Sad
The Simpsons

Invalid Gay Marriages
By Kazz Falcon

August 12, 2004, Thursday was a sad day
California Supreme Court voided all gay marriages
Yes, the gays was disappointed
We still have a long road to travel
We won’t stop from getting what we want
We want Equal Rights, the same rights as straights
They truly believed they was still married
No one can’t take their license away
We earned the license to marry
We want the luxury of a marriage
"Till death do us apart"
It’s logically for a couple to get married
It shows the people that they are truly in love
Yet, most states wouldn’t change their marriage law
We must go elsewhere to have a wedding
It wasn’t wrong for anyone to be married
Why should we deny the right?
It was about us, our love and our freedom
That is what matters the most
We will prevail to equal rights and gay marriages


Copyright © 2004 Kazz Falcon

Hypocrite

Grossly sad

Hypocrite
By Kazz Falcon

That's me
I was the world's biggest hypocrite!
I said one thing
I ended up doing something different
I need a gun
I must pull the trigger on myself
That's how stupid I was
I really hate myself
I disgusted myself
I can't stand looking at me in the mirror
Why do I keep on?
I sunk to a new low
One of these days, it will cost me my life
I was asking for punishment
Some weakness will die for
I need to get my head examine
I know better than to give in to the weakness
I can't continued on
Yet, I do
I was one sick puppy
All thanks for being a damn hypocrite


Copyright © 2004 Kazz Falcon

World's Biggest Hypocrite

Angry

World's Biggest Hypocrite.

That's me! I became an sorry excuse for an human being! I have to get out of the human skin. It really doing a number on this alien. I was losing control of my inner being. I was becoming too human for my own good. I can't give in to the human skin. It was taking over this alien.

Miguel called me about same old crap. Nope, it didn't came. He mentioned he was horny. I made an dumbass move; I invited him over for a little while. Yesterday, I promised myself no sex at all. Today, look at me. I was thinking with Jack, instead of my brain. He will be over in 90 minutes. I stayed online for a little while. I took a quick shower. I heard the phone rang. Damn, he can't be here already. 90 minutes wasn't that fast.

I ran to get the phone. I almost fell two times from being all wet. The phone rang again. He was at Alvarado. I dried myself quickly. I jumped into my clothes and ran out of the door. My neighbor was going out too. He held the door for me. We saw another neighbor walking the door. They both talked as I hurried to the corner to meet Miguel. I waited for a while. Miguel haven't show up. The neighbor was coming. So far, no Miguel. He crossed the street to wait for the bus. I thought Miguel was at the chinese place. Nope, I walked back to the corner.

The neighbor was still at the bus stop. I waited at the corner. I saw 304 bus passed by. I figured Miguel was on the bus. I almost cross the street till I heard someone called out my name. It was Miguel, up the street from my place. He wanted me to go to him. Man, why should I? He could have walk to me. I was hungry. He wanted me to go to his sister for the weekend. I didn't say nothing. I don't want to face his sister. We got something at the Chinese place, then we went home.

Miguel took off his clothes for a quick shower. I ate shrimp fried rice in a bowl. We had sex. I cleaned myself up. He asked, "Do you hate me?" I mentioned I didn't. I said to myself, I really hate myself for being a damn hypocrite! He rested for a while. He wanted sex again. I was tired. He took another shower. I joined him in the shower for sex. He was moarning alot. We washed ourselves. I dried myself off first, I handed Miguel a new towel. He went Yahoo. Before he got there, I deleted his AOL screen name. He had some trouble chatting; it was different from AOL!

I watched my soaps. He rested for a while. Mike called me; he can't come over right now because he was here. Instead, this weekend will be best for him. He need to send an email to this guy. .I was online. He finally ate his chinese food. He rested more. He got dressed. He was online again. I checked the mail. Finally, I got some mail! I haven't get any mail in a week. I went in my place and opened the bill. Man, I was so cheap that the gas bill was cheapest! LOL. I mentioned I have no milk. Miguel offered to buy me some. Man, I was a good actor! He will STILL do anything for me. Ohhh, how sweet! hehe. We walked to 7/11. He wanted me to walked him to the 304 bus stop. I refused, I don't want to walk with the milk.

He wanted to buy a wine bottle. There wasn't any, except wine coolers. I persauded him to get the wine coolers. He can have one; I can have the rest. We walked to the corner. He grabbed an wine cooler. I brought up his sister, she was dead set against me of going to her place. She was still mad at me. Miguel changed his mind; he will wait till he get his unemployment check. We parted ways. I put the wine coolerin the frig. I finished the food. I was online again and watched FOX11. I drank an wine cooler as I continued Earth Journal. He called me during King Of Queens. He was home now. He waited 45 mintues for 304 bus. He may come over this weekend. I told him earlier that I have other plans.