This House

By Kazz Falcon

This house I lived in
It was beautiful at first
Lots of love was there
It was comfortable and pleasant
Sunshine was in every room
Even where the sun couldn’t reach
I was at peace
I had no problems
It was home sweet home
I could live here forever
Now, the house was dark and gloomy
I was concerned about my roomie
Something wasn’t right
There was a large shadow over him
I didn’t felt safe at all
I pestered him till he talk
He confessed he lost his job few months ago
He mentioned he had no other choice
I was confused about the last comment
He admitted the boss fired him
I wondered why
He wouldn’t tell me why
Next few weeks, I noticed lots of people was showing up
Some of them came during the middle of the night
I realized drugs entered our home
My roomie decided to make fast money
He sold drugs at the house
I wasn’t happy about it
This wasn’t a home any more
It was home hell home
He ruined the sunshine in this house

True Calling

By Kazz Falcon

I was a small kid
I had a great desire to be a big star
Any kind of a star was fine by me
I loved to sing
I loved to act
I loved to be a performer
Everyone loves me
I loved the applauses from everyone
It made me to feel fabulous inside
As I got older, I lost interest in the biz
I lived that Hollywood life all my youth
It wasn’t that exciting any more
I was so jaded by it
Performing wasn’t in my heart any more
It wasn’t fulfilling to me
I wanted a normal life
I was pulled in another different direction
I found something else I love to do
The art gallery fascinated me
I saw so many paintings
I loved the beauty of them
I can do marvelous paintings
It was something different from acting
Where in acting, it was someone else’s world
I lived in their world of pictures
The paintings were my very own pictures
I created a brand new world for me
I saw life through something magical
The paintings made me alive again
I found my true calling

Controversial Poet

By Kazz Falcon

My poems brought out the anger in some people
They hated the poems very much
They really despised me a lot
They wanted to scratch my eyes out
They believed I could do such a thing
Murder, drugging, rape, prostitute, and other awful things
I wasn’t that kind of a person
I was a sweet, friendly, nice, loving, peaceful person
I wasn’t a sick person like some people claimed
They wondered if I had any morals
Yes, I had good morals I lived by every day
Writing about something does not mean I did it
Nor I had the desire to do those awful things
I don’t go out and kill people
I had no reason to
I let bygones by bygones
They were hostile toward me
I had to expect that
But I won’t back down from them
They way I see it, they don’t like the world we lived in
Death, gangs, murder, war and etc
Therefore, they lashed out at me
Not all poems they will love
That was fine by me
I was portraying REAL LIFE in my poems
They don’t like what they see in the world
Who doesn’t?
There were bad things in the media, movies, TV and real life
Some people praised TV shows and movies for being REAL
Yet, they criticized me for being too real
It wasn’t fair to me at all
I felt like I was Jesus Christ
They crucified me on the cross
Jesus represents the truth, just like me
My truth was the reality we lived in
They can’t complain about my poems
Now, you know what I was really about
I wasn't ashamed of my poems
I had no reason to feel guilty about
I said my peace
I was a somewhat controversial poet

Husband’s Death

By Kazz Falcon

I never ever expect this
My husband was killed in a car accident
He was driving drunk like always
I was expecting him to come out ALIVE
He always managed to stay away from death
He kept on daring death with drunk driving
We were coming home from a restaurant
We celebrated our 20th anniversary
He hit a ditch in the road
He lose grip of the wheel
He crashed into a moving car
I was hardly injured
It still hurt that he was taken away from me
It wasn’t impossible
It don’t supposed to happen that way
He didn’t had a death wish
He always make it out alive
Not this time, he died on the way to the hospital
I can’t believed it
He supposed to be home with me
I cried out loud
Why, God, why?
Please don’t take him away
I can’t survive without him
He was my rock
What went wrong?
All the years, I turned the blind eye
I didn’t want to face his drinking problem
It was my partly fault
I didn’t confront him about his drinking
I knew death was on his doorstep
Yet, it was the farthest thing from my mind
So was the husband's death

Blind Eye

By Kazz Falcon

I was deeply in love with my husband
Nothing could tear us apart
We were happy with each other
Our love was pure and heartfelt
We continued to overcome our problems
My husband was in another car accident
He was in so many accidents that I lost count
It was about the same old crap
He drove drunk and crashed into something
I was so used to it by now
I don’t worry about him that much
He always brushed it off
Nothing bad will ever happen
Yes, he broke an arm and a leg a few times
We was set in our own ways
It was a daily routine for us
I will always be there for him
I don’t want to leave him
I knew it my heart
He won’t leave any time
No matter how many times he was in an accident
He was like a pussy
He has nine lives
I was so grateful
Nothing will keep him down
The accidents made our love stronger
I turned the blind eye like nothing happen

Darkness

By Kazz Falcon

I looked around
It was impossible to see anything
I can’t even see my own face in the mirror
Everything was pitch black
The storm knocked down the power lines
I didn't had any candles at the cabin
I forgot to buy some at the store
I can’t go far
I will stumble and fall down
It was best to stay where I was
I stayed in bed for the rest of the night
I can’t be scare
There wasn’t a sound
Not even a mouse
It was only the darkness and me
No one else was around
I was miles away from civilization
It was scary to be alone
All hope was lost
I might as well fall asleep
Then I won’t be that scare
The sleep was my security blanket
In the morning, I won’t see darkness

9/25/04 Saturday

Happy

I had a fagulous day. I was quite please with everything. The sun was shinning, the buses were cool, everything was marvelous. I left my place after 9 AM. I waited in the hot sun for a while. 304 took me to the post office. I got some mail - Nintendo Power and Entertainment Weekly. Then, I caught 304 to Fairfax. Then I went to Barnes & Noble at the Grove.

I went straight to the chairs. I noticed there was some change on a chair. So much, I wanted to steal it, but I didn't. I could have sat down in that chair. Instead, I got a book. I put the book in my chair. The money was still there. I went back to get more books. Then, I went to my seat again. No one claimed it yet. I was tempted to get the money. I started to read San Fransico Then & Now. The lady next to me got up from her chair. She noticed the money. She asked if it was mine. I said, "No!" I noticed she had a name tag in her hand. Dear Lord! She worked there! It will be so funny that she caught me red handed stealing the money from the seat! OOPS!

Few people came and went from the chairs. I saw a black guy sat down and put some books on the table. Hmm, I was intrigue by the books! They were Buddha books! I wanted to grab one from the table to read. I read London Then & Now, then I read a TV book. The black guy finally left with the books on the table. Of course, I grabbed those books. I read them. It was very interesting to read. I learn more about Budda! So badly, I wanted to buy those books. There were easy to know. I think the next time I will buy them.

There was some web links on the back of the book. I wrote some down on the paper. I will look at those sites. I was at the book store about three hours. I took a walk around the mall. I called Mike at the waterfall pond. He mentioned he will come over tomorrow. He was taking a break from the book. He will start all over. We hung up. I walked in the shade. I finally called Robert. I wanted to get some movies for the weekend. Sean answered the phone instead. He was meaning to call me; he was busy. He couldn't take me yet; he need to go to Barstow to work on his friend's house. We will go after he gets back. I heard Robert yelled, "Hi, Kazz." in the background. I didn't have a chance to talk to him; the phone call was short.

I walked to the bus stop. Damn, it was too hot. I was already sweating. I stood behind the pole. I didn't want to melt. Really, it will put me in the hospital. The dash bus picked me up. Oh well, it was the wrong bus. I didn't want to wait in the sun that long. We turned on La Cingena from Melrose. I saw another Dash bus. I wanted to get off the bus at Melrose. I wasn't sure what bus it was. I realized I saw another dash bus on Melrose going the other way. It was too late to get off. I was thinking of taking that bus to Hollywood/Highland.

The bus dropped me off at Beverly Center. I thought the Rapid bus was running. I checked the bus sign. Man, it only runs on the weekdays! I was out of luck. I stood behind the pole again. It was hot, hot, HOT! A while later, the dash bus came. It was the same one I got off. He was heading back to Fairfax. Far away, the 105 was coming. I checked my phone. Oops, I missed Mike's call. I called him back. I caught 105. He told me the good news. He is getting a pussy! I mentioned I wanted one too. He explained the women will put the pussies on the floor, if the pussy goes to him, he can have the same one. He prefer to go alone. He can't wait for his pussy. I got off 105. Bus 4 was already at the light. I jumped on bus 4. He was so happy to get a pussy. Mike mentioned he needs to buy food and litter! We hung up the phone.

I realized this wasn't 304. I hate taking bus 4. 304 was my favourite. this time, I didn't mind bus 4. It cool me off from the damn heat. Thank God! I wasn't in a rush to go home; I want to enjoy this beautiful day more. I arrived at the bus stop. I got home at 4 PM. I listened to the radio. I was hungry. I ate two peanut butter sandwich. I served the web a bit. I looked up the Buddha web sites. I sent them some emails.

"Good evening. I am interest of learning Buddhist and such. I want to learn for the longest time. I haven't find the right place to get information."

Hopefully, they will respond to me this week. I want to LEARN NOW! I was ready for it. It was something I wanted to do.

That was my fun filled day! I may watch tv in a little while or listen to more radio; Disco Night was on KBIG! It was Saturday night! I may turn to bed early. I may go to church in the morning. Laters, guys.

Teacher’s Forbidden Love

By Kazz Falcon
Dedicated to Mary Kay Letourneau

My marriage was falling apart
I felt emotional overwhelmed
Teaching was a bright spot
I was at the right place
I had a difficult time dealing with the marriage
I became emotional involved with a student
We spent more time alone in the class
I helped develop his gift for art
He has a unique gift in art
A question changed everything for me
It has never cross my mind
He asked, “Will you ever had a affair?”
I didn’t know what to think
I was speechless and stunned
I resisted his flirtations
I realized some students had crushes ontheir teachers
The 13 year old student’s feelings was different
He couldn’t live without me when he gets old
His feelings was truly heartfelt
My resistance faded away
We shared our first kiss
We felt there was nothing wrong
It won’t go any further than the kiss
I admitted I had a very deep love for him
Not long after the first kiss, we had sex
I didn’t felt guilty having sex with him
Something dawned on me
The trouble marriage drawn me to the young affair
My husband and I wasn’t sleeping in the same bed
I continued to have an affair with forbidden love

Spiritalien....

09/03/04 09:38pm...........This was from Lynndal1.

His soul is hurting inside where we can't see
From the outside he looks like you and me
He has turned his pain into revenge
taking everyone down with him till the end
When you see him coming
you better think twice
he is after your souland your life


09/03/04 09:59pm......from Lynn
Hello Spirit,i have to say this to you i wish you had family around you that love and care about you,then maybe just maybe you would take back your dignity and pride in yourself love lynn.


09/04/04 02:22am............from me
that was a beautiful poem. keep up the good work
"Hello Spirit,i have to say this to you i wish you had family around you that love and care about you,then maybe just maybe you would take back your dignity and pride in yourself love lynn."

the family is dead.

i am MUCH BETTER without them in my life


09/04/04 03:56am.........from Lynn
The family is dead Spirit and so are you inside all you have left is the angry to feed off of.And if your still to this day going out and doing what you say you are doing then god help your poor soul and your mixed up mind.


09/05/04 10:58am........from me
"The family is dead Spirit and so are you inside all you have left is the angry to feed off of.And if your still to this day going out and doing what you say you are doing then god help your poor soul and your mixed up mind."

u are SADLY MISTAKEN!

Dedicated to Lynndal1

Frustrated

I dedicated The Accused to Lynndal1.

Few weeks ago, I put Mickey Finn in the excite forums. Lynn really believed I drugged and raped people.

She was really pist off. She let me have it big time! Also, she believed I spread HIV to others.

HIV Revenge: "NO YOU didn't deserve what has happened to you nor does the poor damn person you give it to." - Lynn

NOTE: Writing about something DOESN'T mean I did it!

It was only my art! I was a talented artist!

I must give her credit; Lynn wasn't the only one. There were others.

This is Lynn's response to The Accused....

I already said i was sorry to you what does it take f@cking blood i am staying away from here so don't worry you won't have to put up with me anymore.Keep on writing write what ever the f@ck you want you are an artist with your own style nobody has the right to stop you.Now goodbye and don't send me anymore posts i won't be back here have a good life have a sh@ty life have any kind of f@cking life you want just have a life

Now, this was my response to Lynn.....

You don't have to leave. It won't be the same without you. Lots of people will miss u. I said my peace.

In closing, I was defending myself in The Accused!

The Accused

By Kazz Falcon

Everyone knows I am an artist
I posted my art in some forums
It was a good way to be recognized
Who knows?
Maybe, an agent can get in contact with me
I could get a book deal
I wasn’t in any rush at all
Sometimes, I ran into some trouble
Some people took my art serious
They accused me of drugging people
They accused me of raping people
They accused me of spreading HIV
They accused me of putting a baby in the dumpster
They accused me about anything
Damn!
Where do they have the nerves?
They hardly know me
They have no right to judge me
I wasn’t hurting anyone with my art
Yet, they felt like I was doing the dirty deed
I was guilty in their eyes
They didn’t care I was innocence or not
They really believed I was one sick individual
One of these days, they will go too damn far
Perhaps, the police may arrest me for my art
They were hostile with me too
I could end up in the hospital or DEAD!
Man, I didn’t do anything wrong
They must stop assuming the worst things in me
I wasn't a bad guy at all
It was ONLY ART
I was the accused

9/23/04 Thursday

Happy

I went to the post office early in the morning. I had no mail at all. I figured I will have some. Last Saturday, I had lots of mail. I may start going twice a week. I think Wednesdays after computer class and my usual day, Saturday. I thought about going somewhere else like the book store. I changed my mind. I didn't ate any breakfest. I decided to get peanut butter at Smart & Final. I ran out last week. I took 304 Western/Santa Monica, then the bus to Smart & Final.
I got my things and walked to the bus stop. Few minutes later, 156 and 4 arrived. Lots of people caught bus 4. I ook 156 instead. Bus 4 passed up bus 156! YEAH! I won't have to wait for the bus for a long time. 156 dropped me off at Vermount/Santa Monica. Soon, I caught bus 4 home. Man, the bus was still crowed. I stood in front of the bus. My stop was coming up. I moved back to the bus. I got off the bus and went home.

Oh yeah, Karina held a workshop about resume. She came to my place and got me. I didn't want to go till Passions was over! Pilar was anxious to see her long lost daughter, Paloma. Sheridan looked for her, but she was with Alistair. Alistair was up to her old tricks. He mentioned that the family doesn't care for her. That's why Pilar sent her away to Mexico when she was a baby.
I went to the work shop. There was donuts and three of us, besides Karina. They mostly talked about the kitchen. This guy want to work in the kitchen and wanted to learn; he was a waiter long time ago. One cooking school cost $35,000. No thanx. It was too expensive. Besides, cooking is not my thing. I much preferred to work in the office. Ronald brought up the class at Path; he really like the class. We had a nice time at the workshop.

Karina mentioned she wanted to do an newsletter for the apartments. Stories, poems, pictures will be in it. The first newsletter meeting will be on Oct 6 at 1:30 PM. I will be there; it was something I was interest in. Karina dismissed the workshop. I took some donuts with me. I ate some at my desk. I emailed her some poems; she will choose some.

The rest of the day was average.............

“Amnesia” Roman Brady

By Kazz Falcon

I stumbled into Salem in 1986
Yet, I was still lost
I can’t remember who I was
I don’t recognize the area
I was wrapped up in bandages
I came across Dr. Marlena Evans
She helped me to unravel my past
She feared I was her worst enemy – Stephano
I had a phoenix tattoo on my shoulder
I slowly recovered my memory
She noticed certain familiar patterns
It dawned on her
Was I her long lost husband?
She found out I had plastic surgery
She saw pictures of Roman at the surgeon’s office
She was convinced I was her long lost husband
She believed Stephano brainwashed and redesigned me
She told me about the pictures
I couldn’t believed it
I “changed” my looks
I felt like I was home again
I was reunited with the woman I love
I was reunited with our kids
I accepted my place in her heart and home
I was happy to have my life back

9/18/04 Saturday

Happy

I woke up after 8 AM. I ate breakfast. I was online to check the emails and posts. I got a email noticed about an reply in a forum. I checked out it. I was shocked beyond belief. The stupid guy wants to BLACKLIST me from the forum. Everhope don't like my beliefs in God. I didn't do anything wrong at all. He has some nerves!

"I do not condemn you." - Everhope

He is a DAMN hypocrite for judging me!

"It is likely you will soon be removed from this forum." - Everhope

Everhope threatened to BAN me from the forum.


OKAY! I am done with the low life!

It was nice out this morning. It was cool and the sun wasn't out. I walked to 304 bus stop. I waited about 10 minutes. 2 and 4 Bus came. I was tempted to take 4, but I wanted to take 304. I caught the bus to the post office. Damn, I had lots of mail! two issue of Entertainment Weekly and SOD. Tony DiMera was on the new cover. It was a good read. Tony was the mastermind of the island and Marlena being a serial killer. I didn't read all of it. I waited for the bus. I read it on the bus thou. Tony wanted to give them the same hurt he recieved all those years ago. PAYBACK IS HELL!

I decided to go to The Grove. It was such a lovely day. I didn't want to go home. Last week, I mentioned I was tired of staying home all the time. This time, I was true to my word. I waited for the bus on Fairfax. The bus dropped me off at 3rd and fairfax. I walked through Farmer's Market to Barnes & Noble at the Grove. It was very nice. Lots of people out at the mall. Everyone was enjoying the warm weather. I went to the third floor and read a book. I was there for a few hours. Mike called me with some bad news. They won't publish his astrology book; they didn't understand the language. It was a big let down for him. He was looking forward to it. Someone else will publish his book. I took a walk around the Grove.

I headed to the bus stop. The bus just left. I caught the next bus a minute later. I got off at Sunset/Vermount. I waited for a while. I took the bus home. I saw Ken across the street. We waved at each other. I continue reading SOD. I looked back. Ken was going home with this black guy. Hmmm, a trick! You go, Ken! I opened the gate. I left the gate unlocked for Ken. I opened my door and put down my stuff. I looked at the time, 3:35 PM. Ken and him walked up the steps. I was hungry. I ate two burentos. I had some tang. I went online for a while. There was nothing on TV. I saw the black guy walked pass by door at 5:25 PM. He was on his way home. Well, Ken and him had some FUN!

to be continued.....

Macaulay Culkin

Surprised

Macaulay Culkin was arrested by the Oklahoma City police for drug possession on Friday, September 17.

Tracy Gold

Sad

Sep 14, 9:41 PM (ET)

MOORPARK, Calif. (AP) - Former "Growing Pains" actress Tracey Gold was arrested earlier this month after her sport utility vehicle flipped on a highway, injuring her husband and two of their three children, police said.

Tracey Gold Marshall, 35, was booked for investigation of felony drunken driving after the Sept. 3 crash, California Highway Patrol officer Steve Reid said Monday.

Marshall wasn't hurt, but her husband, Roby Marshall, 39, suffered neck injuries, the officer said. The couple's 7-year-old son suffered a broken collarbone and a 5-year-old son was cut, but their 4-month-old son wasn't hurt, Reid said.

The Marshalls' home telephone number was unlisted and the actress couldn't be reached for comment.

The SUV, with Marshall at the wheel, veered off the highway just before midnight and it rolled over on its way down an embankment, Reid said.

Officers suspected the actress was under the influence of alcohol and she was booked at the county jail. She posted $50,000 bail the following day and was released. A court date wasn't immediately available, the highway patrol said.

Gold played Carol Seaver during the seven-year run of "Growing Pains," which ended production in 1992.


I was shock by the news. I never thought she will do such a thing. I remembered seeing her on On Air With Ryan Seacrest few months ago. She was friendly and cheerful. She was waiting for her newborn baby. Kirk Cameron suprised her with present. I think they haven't see each other since the growing pains movie.

I learned on Entertainment Tonight that she wasn't charge yet. The police is investigating. Sadly, she ruined her son's life. She will have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. She could have kill them.

It could have been lots worse. This new poem went further than her.


Irresponsible Parent
By Kazz Falcon

My husband drank too much at the restaurant
I didn’t want him to drive
We got in the car
We were on our way home
The young son fell asleep in the back seat
I tried my best to drive
It was pouring down rain
I couldn’t see straight
Sadly, I was all over the road
I accidentally jumped the curb
I ran into a tree
I was shocked
Our son was in lots of pain
I reached out for him
He couldn’t move
I wasn’t able to get to him
I forgot the husband was in the car
No, he wasn’t
He flew through the window
He didn’t had his seatbelt on
I cried for help
I checked his pulse
I killed my husband
Dear Lord! What have I done?
I heard the ambulance coming
The police showed up moments later
I told the police the truth
I was driving drunk in the rain
I thought I was able to drive
Look at the mess I made
My husband was dead
My son was cripple
I felt so ashamed of myself
I had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life
I was theblame
I should have know better
The alcohol clouded my judgment
I was an irresponsible parent

9/14/04 Tuesday

Happy

Yesterday, I forgot to add an entry for yesterday which I am doing today before tomorrow comes in 35 minutes. Got that?

I got off the bus on Vermount/Beverly. I went to the corner. This guy guy caught my attention. I felt like he wanted me. I wouldn't pay attention to him. I was anxious to get away from him. I want to focus on my life, not sex. When I became successful, then i will start thinking of a new lover. Right now was not the time for a fling or a new lover. He was handsome. It was hard NOT to look at me. He didn't stop looking at me.

I went to class. It was much better. I am getting an hang of the class. It was cold in the room too. I was glad I brought the coat with me. I was learning new things in class like atl + shift D = Date. T is the time. I was excited. It will take me far. I can see myself working at a publisher or some studio. It was a dream. Perhaps, I can get my book published.

I gave the teachers my work. I didn't do that well. I need to do the papers again. There was 30 minutes left. I couldn't redo my work. I did the next best thing; I uploaded the class' school papers on yahoo briefcase. I should have done this two years ago. I bet I would have finish the class. Everything was in the briefcase. I went straight home. I jumped into the work. I did the papers again. It took me a while to figured what I went wrong. The papers look better now. I can print the papers in class, then he will grade them. I will go on to something else.

Today, I mostly did more poems. I was happy with all of them. Here is one...


Unhappy Home
By Kazz Falcon

I wasn’t happy living at home
My parents fought all the time
They blamed each other for everything
Neither of them shows me any attention
I was sad inside
I was a good kid
I wasn’t getting good grades
I thought it was my fault
I did something wrong
They claimed I was the root of the problem
I tend to believe that
If I was never born, they will be happier
I don’t know why I deserve the abuse
All kids wanted to be love by a parent
I was in a hateful environment
They never ever wanted me at all
I was a mistake they foolish made
I was paying for their mistake
Why me?
I was innocence
I didn’t have a choice to come into this world
I just happened
Presto, I was born 9 months later
They felt like they were forced into marriage
I was the blame for the fighting
That was my unhappy home

Open Window

By Kazz Falcon

I love sleeping at night with an open window
The cold wind breezes through the house
It felt so comfortable
I always sleep like a baby
One night, I was sound asleep in bed
Someone entered the room
He got in bed with me
He put his hand on my leg
Finally, my husband was home from work
It was dark in the room
I could barely see his face
We begun kissing passionate
I noticed he was a little rough
I mentioned he was hurting me
He didn’t care at all
He wanted me right then and there
I couldn’t stop him
He was too strong for me
I was helpless
I screamed out loud
“Stop it! Stop it! Someone help me,” I yelled
My dear old husband wanted to rape me
He covered up my mouth
I was scared for my life
Out of the blue, someone broke down the door
They got into a fight
He escaped through the window
He turned on the light
I was dumbstruck
Dear Lord! My husband saved me from danger
I had no ideal it was someone else
I was safe once again
He looked around the bedroom
The window screen was missing
Crime invited itself through the open window

Is God A Killer?

By Kazz Falcon

Some people thought so
He wasn’t a real God
He could never send people to hell
It wasn’t his nature
He was a sweet loving God
God sent his begotten son to earth
Jesus wants to save us from our sins
Isn’t that special?
Jesus was a gift from God
We have a choice
We can either accept him or reject him
Yet, they continued to believe God is a killer
Really, he wasn’t
God wasn’t forcing us to hell
He gave us Jesus Christ
He was allowing us to go
All along, it was our choice

9/12/04 Sunday

Happy

Nothing much happened. I thought I was going to the book store today. Instead, I was in the the mood to do some poems. I thought I was going to the book store today. I "worshiped" God in my own way; I did some poems, read the bible and did some research about religion. I learrned there was Another Book, besides Lamb's Book aka Book Of Life. Another Book was a fact book; God knows evertything about everyone. Here is a poem about Another Book.


Another Book
By Kazz Falcon

I recently died from a heart attack at age 27
I appeared in front of God
I feared for my life
I was a sinful creature
Yet, I couldn’t escape the hurtful truth
My life was recorded in his fact book
He knew everything about everyone
He knew my every pain, worry, fear and tears I had cried
What have I done?
I was a fool to pass up Jesus Christ
I could have invite him in my life
I rejected his love and saving grace
I was too busy living a sinful life
I was occupy in the world
Sometimes, the world turns a blind eye
I didn’t see the living truth
My fear became a reality
My name wasn’t in the book of life
I was cast into the lake of fire
I was doomed to eternal destruction
I was forever in perdition, thanks to another book


I did about 10 poems all day long. I was quite please. All the poems was quite good. I am gonna to wait to put them on the web site. Miguel FINALLY called me. He was mostly interest in his ID. Nope, it didn't came. That was it. Miguel didn't talk about the car accidnet last week. I was tempted to ask me. I was kinda upset. I didn't show it. Miguel mentioned he may pick up more clothes. I don't care about him. The sooner he picks up all clothes, the sooner he will be out of my life! Man, I can't wait. I was much better without him in my life.

Mike didn't show up or call me. Oh well. it was a good thing. If he came over, I bet I won't do all the poems I did today. That was my funfilled day.

9/11/04 Saturday

Happy

Nothing big nor exciting happen today, not even an terrorist attack! I woke up about 8:30 AM. I went online for a while. I better get a move on. It was getting hot outside. I got dressed and left after 9. Damn, I missed the 304. I saw it pass by. It will be a while for 304. I was tempted to take the next bus. Nah, I can wait a little longer. Then again, the heat was getting to me. Oh well, I toughed it out! Buses 2 and 4 came right together.

304 finally came. Ahhhh, the bus was cool. I picked up my mail; SOD, Entertainment Weekly and the phone bill. I went to the bus stop, reading SOD. I didn't want to go home. I was tired of going home and doing nothing. The day was still young. From now on, I will stay out all day when I go out. Once again, I went straight home. I didn't eat any breakfast. I didn't feel like eating this morning.

10:50 AM, I got home. Hmm, the bible cartoon was coming on at 11 AM. I haven't watch that show in a while. Instead, I changed my mind. I saw all the episode more than one time. I was tired of watching reruns. I got some meat from the frig. I put it in the sink to thaw. I can cook for Mike; steak and green beans. Last time, Mike didn't show up either. I made him steak and mashed potatos. Few hours later, there was no sign of Mike. He mentioned he will be here at 3 PM. So far, no Mike.

More hours passed, I called Mike. He just got out of the shower and ran to answer my phone. He mentioned he couldn't sleep last night; he was too busy writing. He wasn't coming over. He was at the library all day for research. Oh well, I won't have to cook for him. He may come over tomorrow. He thought I was mad. I was about to put the meat back in the frig. Nah, I still can eat it for supper. I cooked the steak in the boiler. I made some green beans too. The steak was fagulous. It was juicy in every bite.

That was about the day I had. Of course, I did some art too. Here is one....


Secret Code
By Kazz Falcon

The secret code saved my life
Last week, I walked home from school
Of course, I was alone
My parents couldn’t pick me up
They were working at that time
I was minding my own business
This one guy drove up beside me
I didn’t pay any attention to him
He kept on trying to get my attention
He mentioned he was lost
I explained an adult can help him
He fed me another line
“Have you seen my lost dog?”
I wouldn’t answer him
He confessed that my parents told him to pick me up
I still didn’t trust him
I know better than that
I asked, “What’s the code?”
He was dumbstruck
He claimed there wasn’t time for the code
He opened up the passenger’s door
I screamed very loud
He saw someone running up
He zoomed off in his car
I explained to the stranger that he was up to no good
He called the police on his cell phone
The police arrived for the statement
I told them the same story
They asked the stranger some questions
Thankfully, he gave them his license plate
The police took me straight home
The police was glad I had a secret code

Baby Moses Law

By Kazz Falcon

I thought about leaving my baby in the dumpster
I wasn’t ready to be a mother yet
I was pregnant from a one night stand
It was the biggest mistake of my life
I don’t want to put my life on hold
I was seventeen year old
I dropped out of school
I ran away from home
I was ashamed of the situation
I learned there was a law
Baby Moses Law was the break I needed
I can leave the baby at a hospital, police, fire or EMS station
No one will say a thing; no questions ask
We can leave the baby at those places – day or night
We won’t go to jail either
I heard horror stories about the dumpster babies
I can’t put my child through that
It wasn’t fair to him
No one may not find him at all
I didn’t want to be charge with attempted murder
The dumpster was the wrong thing to do
I got the courage
I dropped the baby off at the police station
I sadly kissed him goodbye
I will never see him ever again
I was glad he was in safe hands
The police will take good care of him
I gave the baby a chance to grow and live
Thank God for Baby Moses Law

Kackle

By Kazz Falcon

Youthful Queer
He was so much into the clubkids
His idol was Michael Alig
He found his identify early in life
He was gay and a clubkid at heart
He has an close knit of friends
His very own clubkids to party with
He was an natural and an original
People say he's unique
It was a nice way of saying he's a freak
He likes to march to the beat of electronic percussion machine
He wants to see who steals his heart
He's very special
He wasn't shy
He was outgoing and flamboyant
Is he the second coming of Michael Alig?
Don't get in his way
He will party your ass out like Angel
Someday, his true prince will come
They will live happily ever after
In clubland, where the clubkids rules

9/10/04 Friday

Mischievous

Today was the worst day of my life. The heat is getting to me very badly. I woke up this morning. I was thisclose of throwing up. I didn't thou! This past week have been too hot. I was thinking about skipping school today. I wasn't feeling it. Damn the heat. I tired to go back to sleep, but couldn't. So, I took an shower to cool me off. Somewhat, the shower was a little better for me.

I went online for a while. Yet, I was feeling bad. The fan was on me till I went to class. I checked the posts and such. I had no breakfast. I know I will threw up from all the heat. I won't go to class early at all. I will arrive late. I will leave between 8 to 8:30 AM. I will still be tired if I leave about 7 AM. I won't last in the computer class.

I arrived about 8:20. I got the stuff and sit in the other room. For an hour or so, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to deal with it. I checked the Tv Guide about the latest soap news and the entertainment news. I felt renewed. I tackled the work. After 11 AM, I was ready for the test again. Last time, I flunked big time; the teacher mentioned I need to do the lesson again! Today, I didn't want to do the lesson again. I wanted to be lazy today.

Anyway, I was feeling good about the test. Of course, I cheated! Shhh. Don't tell the teacher. I made an 80; I missed two on a 10 questions test. Sometimes, we have to heat to get ahead in life. It's time to leave. I pondered about the post office. I changed my mind and went home; the CBS soaps wasn't on either. I was anxious to see All My Children! Babe was ready to give the baby back to Bianca! It was about time!

Bianca thought her baby died few months ago. Reality, Paul Cramer stole Babe's baby and give Bianca's baby to Babe. Paul's sister needed a baby to save her marriage to Kevin; Kelly miscarriege her baby and asked Paul for help at any ost. Kelly was desparate to get a baby. Babe couldn't handle telling Bianca the truth and ran away. She talked to a pastor; she wanted a sign from God. She didn't know where she was going; the sign was knocked down. She landed in Llandview where her own baby was living with Kevin!

Last week, Kevin and Kelly went to court for the sole custody of Ace. Tico helped Kevin with the court case; Kevin won Ace. Kelly was heartbroken. Any way, Babe saw Kevin with Ace at the restuarant. Kevin didn't know how to calm down the baby. Babe offered to take care of the baby. She felt an connection to Ace. She wondered if Kevin was ever out of town with the baby. Ace wasn't never out of town, except with Kelly in Boston. I think it was Boston. I forgot! At the end of OLTL, Paul showed up at the same restaurant and saw Kevin and Babe talking!

I taped OLTL and watched Days Of Our Lives. John and Bo tried to get through the forcefield. Bo ran into it and flew back few feets to the ground. Everyone was worried. Bo survived. At the end, Roman, Marlena, Abe, Jenn, Tony and the baby showed up at the forcefield. They was so happy to see each other. Bo wondered where his wife was; Hope and Patrick was looking for Jack, who was missing after a few weeks.

Mike called me this evening. I talked to an Clubkid, Kackle, online. He wasn't home when I call him on the way home; he was doing research at the library. He will come over to do a chapter tomorrow. Mike asked, "Is there something wrong?" I didn't say at all. Few minutes later, Mike called me again. He mentioned he knew there was something wrong; u know, my vioce. He knows me like a book. I admitted I was tired of doing nothing. Life wasn't that grand for me. Trust me. My life wasn't all that. He promised he will help me to get my book published. I truly felt like I was on the way to last goodbyes.

The Apprentice

Happy

The second season premiere was pretty good. Once again, Donald Trump splits them into groups - men versus women. I didn't care about their team names. Last year's was much better. This time, Donald added a kewl twist - one of the opposite sex must be the TEAM LEADER for the other team this episode.

We may have another Omarosa on our hands! This one black chick, Stacie, went nutso in front of her team. Nobody was friendly with her. For crying out loud, most of them was eating lunch! Stacie wanted to know them a little better.

The mean white lady, Pamela, talked very bad about this kid's bad haircut in front of Mattel people. The kids was testing the new toys the teams made. Pamela was out of line big time. If I was a team leader, I will fire you on the spot! Jesus, now the kid will be PICK ON, thanx to her.

Also, I bet he will see a shrink later in his life.

Stacie and Pamela were in BAD taste on the first day on the job! Those two won't last. At the boardroom, Carolyn called Pamela on the insult! U go, Carolyn!

The women team won; they spent the evening with Donald and his girlfriend in his penthouse.

The losing team - the guys - lost one of their guys; Donald fired him!

Don't forget.........The Apprentice will be on ONE HOUR LATER at 9:30 PM/8:30 PM on NBC Thursdays after Joey and the season premiere of Will & Grace.

Any Survivor fans........the new season starts next Thursday at 8 PM/7 PM on CBS.

Enough rants about The Apprentice! Till the next time! LOL

Drug Baby

By Kazz Falcon

Hello, I was the worst mother ever
My doctor told me to stop using drugs - NEVER!
Please!
My baby would be just fine
The drugs wouldn’t effect the baby in anyway
He warned me that the baby would be in grave danger - NO WAY!
Besides, I could stop anytime
He mentioned it ought to be a crime
Yeah, right!
He figured I wasn’t that bright
I just didn’t care
He tired his best to give me a scare
I cried out loud, I went into labor
It went over a day
I wasn’t that gay
The birth hurts like hell
I gave birth to a baby boy
Something was immediately wrong
Anything but that I feared
Nothing was further from the truth
I was ashamed of myself
I didn’t see my baby soon after the birth
I felt so much guilt in my life
I couldn’t believe it
The guilt was so strong
I never went to see the drug baby

Dumpster Baby

By Kazz Falcon

I won't reveal who I am
I couldn't
The police will arrest me for child endangerment
But I can give you many reasons
I can't give the baby a life it's deserves
My parents don't know I was pregnant
They don't believe in premartial sex
I went against their beliefs
They will be disappointed in their little girl
I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant
He ran out on me - that bastard
He told me that he wanted a kid
One day, I came home from work
All his things was missing
He didn't even left a Dear Jane letter
I couldn't believed that he will hurt us like that
I thought we were perfect together
I was left with nothing
All I had was a bun in the oven
Nine monthes later, I went to the alley
I found a spot to have the baby
It was an quite dark alley
No one suspects a thing
I had my baby behind the dumpster
The baby boy was innocense
I kissed him goodbye on the head
I was doing the right thing for him
I can't provide him a good life
I had nothing to give him
He became a dumpster baby

Michael Alig's Prison Information

Date of Information: 09/05/04

DIN (Dept. Identif. Number) 97A6595

Inmate Name: MICHAEL ALIG

Sex: MALE

Date of Birth: 04/29/1966

Race/Ethnicity: WHITE

Custody Status: IN CUSTODY

Housing/Releasing Facility: ELMIRA

Date Received (Original): 10/24/1997

Date Received (Current): 10/24/1997

Admission Type: NEW COMMITMENT

County of Commitment: NEW YORK

Latest Release Date/Type: (Released Inmates Only)

Crime 1, Description: MANSLAUGHTER 1ST
Crime 1, Crime Class: B

Crime 2, Description: Crime 2, Crime Class:

Crime 3, Description:

Crime 3, Crime Class:

Crime 4, Description:

Crime 4, Crime Class: If all 4 crime fields contain data, there may be additional crimes not shown here. In this case, the crimes shown here are those with the longest sentences.

Aggregate Minimum Sentence: 010 Years, 00 Months, 00 Days

Aggregate Maximum Sentence: 020 Years, 00 Months, 00 Days

Earliest Release Date: 11/30/2006 Under certain circumstances, an inmate may be released prior to serving his or her minimum term and before the earliest release date shown for the inmate.

Earliest Release Type: PAROLE ELIGIBILITY DATE

Parole Hearing Date: 09/2006

Parole Hearing Type: INITIAL RELEASE APPEARANCE

Parole Eligibility Date: 11/30/2006

Conditional Release Date: 03/30/2010

Maximum Expiration Date: 11/30/2016

Maximum Expiration Date for Parole Supervision: Post Release Supervision

Maximum Expiration Date:

Parole Board Discharge Date:

Michael Alig's Current pic

Happy

This is Michael Alig's updated address........

Michael Alig
97A6595
Elmira Correctional Facility
P. O. Box 500
Elmira NY 14902

Michael's current pic as of August 5, 2004 is on my web site.

The Island

by Kazz Falcon

I mysteriously arrived on an island
I have no ideal how I got there
I ran into Alice at Salem Place
Was I dreaming?
I was shock to see her alive
I killed her with donuts
Man, I was the serial killer back home
For some reason, I was bloodthirsty
I passed out on the ground
I suddenly woke up in Alice's house
I was lost and confused
How did I get there?
I saw Roman and Abe
It can't be real
I killed them both
I shot Abe in front of his house
I slit Roman's throat on his wedding day
Man, I was really freaking out
Yet, everyone was alive, even Victor
How can it be?
I didn't kill Victor in the bathtub
Even I was dead too
The police shot me on sight
They convinced me that we were trapped
We all want to go home
We missed our loved ones
Somehow, we need to find a way to escape
Who was the mastermind behind the island?

9/3/04 Friday

Happy

Nothing big happen today. My phone was off. I didn't want anyone to bother me. I finally turned of the phone after 3 PM. I checked my message. There was an URGENT message from Marcelia. She wanted to know if I talk to Miguel lately. Well, the last time was last Friday after he got back home from Marcelia's on Crenshaw. He invited me to come over for supper. Nah, I passed. Any way, I called Marcelia on her cell phone. I think I called the wrong number. I called her place. Her daughter answered the phone. She gave me Marcelia's cell phone. Of course, I didn't call. I will call her at home tomorrow.

Mike called me to tell me the good news. They wanted his book. They was quite please with the beginning. He may come over Sunday to work on his book. I was happy for him. He was excited about the book. He mentioned he will try to help me with my book. I will hold it to him; they may not want mine anyway. Oh well. There are other publishers in the states. I was in no hurry to be published. Someday, it will happen with or without Mike's help.

I checked the posts in Fox forum. This one numbskull really believed I was raping people. Man, I will never do that. I was warning them about Mickey Finn. He was dangerous. The person chewed me out too. I pointed out that is could happen to ANYONE, even his own mother! Wait till he read that. He will be mad for "talking" about his mother that way. Who cares? I mean no harm with Mickey Finn.

2 Sept 2004 Thursday

Happy

I wake up early.......this past few nights about this time (11:32 PM) I am getting tired and sleepy that I want to go to bed early. Soon, i need to wake up early for computer class on Wednesday. I have to crash soon starting tomorrow. It will do some good for the class.

Anyway, time for bed.

Okay, i am back to finish what i started last night.

Yesterday, I didn't pay the gas bill. The heat was getting too much for me. I just went home. I didn't want to put the gas bill off any longer. I noticed Ken was on his way out somewhere. I walked to the bus stop. Ken was still there. I ran across the street. Ken thought I was going to school. Nope, I was going to pay the gas bill. He wondered how come it was 10 cent. I paid in advance. He told me that his eletric bill is about $74. He runs the AC a lot, even at night. We chatted for a while.....so many things that I can't remember all of it.

Hmm, let's see. We talked about his two dogs. He mentioned that our neighbor gave him his dog. Man, I really hate that dog. One time, I walked upstairs to get my mail. I didn't make it thou. That MEAN dog bark, bark, bark and bark. So, I went back to my place. I don't want to deal with that dog. If the owner wasn't around, I will have KICK the dog or even kill the mutt! He had another dog for 12 years. It died last year or so. He rescued another dog at the shelter. His dog and the mean one gets along fagulous.

I told him that I want to move to Sunset/Western. I am tired of walking to Vons all the time. Food 4 Less was across the street from the new apartments. The post office was close by too. Ken mentioned that he just can't; there was no place near to walk his dogs. Besides, we lived by Echo Park. Also, our neighbor JC wants to move there too. He mentioned that the applications are ready. I will call Yolando about it. He wondered what apartment I have - an single. It was time for one bedroom apartment. Ken loves his place; he has a balcony. He invited me to come over to look at his place.

Our rents went up. Hey, we can't complain at all. It is still rent. Ken mentioned those apartments probably cost about $1,000 in rent. Thank God we have section 8. I wanted to talk to him about the CDs. He may know more about the CDs. We did have a "money" class about CDs. It made me interest of getting the CDs. It really makes sense for me. We got off the same stop. He went to his bank; I went to the gas company, $20.10. I caught the Dash to Vermount/Sunset. I took the subway to Western. I went to Food 4 Less for more Burrentos. I caught the bus.

Would u believe that Ken got on the bus at Sunset/Hollywood? I yelled out for him. He sat by me. We chatted. He mentioned Poineer Market closed down; an Walgreens will take it's place. He mostly get his meat there. I only get coke and the lettuce. I ask, "Have you ate?" Ken always eat breeakfast before he goes out. We got off the bus. I offered him an slurpee at 7/11. He turned me down; he don't like them. The drs told him he can't eat certain things. He have been HIV - for 12 years. He was on meds too. Some meds makes him skin itch....something like that. I told him that I was on meds for the first year. I stopped taking them; I hate taking them two times a day - day and night. Ken mentioned there is a new meds coming out soon. I am HIV - over 8 years.

We parted our ways to our own apartments. I put away the food. I did my usually daily activies - online and soaps.

1 Sept 2004 Wednesday

Happy

I have to make this short. I am very tired. I am about to fall asleep at any moment. I haven't done Tuesday yet. I will do it tomorrow if I remember!

I will never ever go out late on a very hot day. Man, it was so hot that I sweated everywhere! I took a quick shower. I heard some people talking outside. I opened the door. It was some friends and that damn cable guy. Ron asked, "Do You want cable?" I quickly said, "NO!" There was no sense of dealing with the cable guy; he is a thief! Besides, there was no sense of getting cable; i will be moving soon to Western/Sunset! Yes, I will FINALLY have one bedroom apartment!

I left after 10:45 AM. I walked to 304 bus. It took me to the post office, I got my mail. I took the new Rapid bus to Beverly Center. I didn't went to the mall. I didn't have time for the mall or anything else. I took care of some errands. I caught the Dash bus to Hollywood/Highland. I took the subway to Hollywood/Vine. I walked to the bank. I put the check in the account.

Then I walked in the hot sun to the DWP. I paid the bill. I walked up to Hollywood Blvd by The Gay Center. I waited for the bus. I was extremely hot. I was sweating like a pig. It was that hot to walk. I changed my mind about the gas bill. I can pay online.........ooohhhh, 10 cent! hehe. The bus took me to Hollywood/Vine. I caught the subway to Santa Monica. I took the bus to Lucy. I got a money order for rent.

I went to 7/11 for a slurpee to cool me off. I went home and paid the rent. I turned on the A/C for a while. I noticed it was 1:30. Hmm, Days Of Our Lives was still on. I decided to watch it after I sworn I will never watch Days again! Days is like Passions now; it was too SLOW! Bo got on Kat'e case for not loving Roman. Hello, her husband is DEAD! Bo told John and Kate that Roman and Marlena are ALIVE! Kate can't believed it.

John was still not convinced. Bo and John went to the police station. John listened to the secret code. Tek came along to help out. Abe was talking to Marlane about the dirty deed. Not the serial murders that she done in Salem! Roman and Marlena had sex! My God! They are not even married! Roman is married to Kate and John was married to Marlena. Marlena told Abe that things will never be the same forthem; John may not want herback.

Lucas showed up to see his mother, Kate. Kate assumed that Sami hurt him again. She threatened to kill her! Well, Sami talked to her ex husband on the phone; it looks like that they still love each other. I don't think that Sami told Brandon about her engagement to Lucas. That's why Lucas went to see Kate. That's all I can remember about Days.

I did my daily routine at home. You know....the same old crap! Online, checked the posts and such. Deal Lord! This is a pretty long entry! Oops! I thought it will be short. As I type, I can't go on at all. I was about ready to pass out! HELP ME!

10 Reasons Being Gay is Wrong

Happy

10 Reasons Being Gay is Wrong

(edited from 12reasons.com)

1.) Homosexuality is not natural, much like dyed hair and nose rings are not natural.

2.) Heterosexual marriages are better than Homosexual marriages because Heterosexual marriages produce children. Old and infertile people should not be allowed to marry either, because the world needs more children. Especially in China.

3.) Homosexual parents will raise children who will grow up to be homosexuals. Just like Heterosexual parents will raise children that will grow up only to be heterosexual.

4.) Gay marriage would be less meaningful. Certainly less meaningful than Britney Spear's two-day marriage just for fun.

5.) Being gay is a conscious choice. Some people just choose to be hated and discriminated by others for their entire lives.

6.) Children should not be raised by homosexual parents because they will grow up with a warped view of marriage. Divorced and separated couples are much better examples.

7.) Children should not be raised by homosexual parents because they need an example of both sexes as role models. Single parents should not be allowed to raise their children either.

8.) Marriage should not be changed to include gays. Marriage has been around for a long time, and has not changed at all in all that time. Women are still property, blacks cannot marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

9.) Homosexuality is not supported by religion. We must always do what religion tells us to, because the United States is a theocracy ruled by the church and has no room for any other views.

10.) Civil unions, providing many of the same benefits as same-sex marriages, are a better way of deciding the issue. After all, the "separate but equal" policy has always gone over well in the past.

THE BOTTOM LINE: there are no reasons but ignorance.