The Street Person

Sad

The Street Person
By Kazz Falcon

Am I becoming one of them?
Not in a homeless sense in a way.
These past few months, my life seems to be perfect.
I have my own place, great friends and everything.
Now, it doesn't seem I have everything.
For some time, I get headaches; I felt pain in the brain.
I don't know why I get pain.
I felt like I am losing touch with reality.
Sometimes, I have "crying outbursts."
Lately, I have less contact with friends.
I am shutting out the world around me.
I caught myself laughed for no reason at all.
From the pain in my brain, I believed I am getting some kind of mental disorder/illness.
Since then, I hardly do anything any more
I don't go to the movies, eat out, friend's house and more.
I have poor concentration too.
I can't keep my mind on one thing for a long period of time.
I tend to go elsewhere with my thought.
Also, when someone is talking, my mind goes elsewhere.
Sometimes, I don't eye to eye contact while talking.
Lately, on the bus, I always looked out of the window and my mind goes wandered.
I tried to read too, but can't get through reading the whole thing.
I go back and forth!
My mind is elsewhere.
I haven't check out the pain in the brain yet.

Empty Words

Loopy

Empty Words
by Kazz Falcon

Empty Words
"I'm sorry"
I know I kept on making mistakes.
Please forgive me for the upteenth time
I would never ever do it again
I promised you with all my heart.
I would remain faithful
I won't turn the other cheek
"I'm sorry"
I hoped you believe me this time
I really hope so
You have more faith in our love
Please forgive me
I am counting on yr faith to get us through
I won't count out our love again
"I'm sorry"
I would do anything
I would stop seeing her
I would erase her from my mind
I would move out of town with you
I would tear up her phone number
"I'm sorry"
I am begging for another chance
I just can't live without you
I know I made so many mistakes
I can't see my life without you
You are the one for me
Please, pretty please take me serious
Please believe me
Please trust me
Please forgive me
Look at my tears
They are as real as "I'm sorry."
Empty words

Surreal Dream

Frustrated

Surreal Dream
By Kazz Falcon

There was a knock on the door
It must be one of my friends
He was my eyes
We supposed to go shopping today
I always love our times together
I opened my door
Someone else was there
He told me that my time has come
I couldn't believe it
My jaw dropped like a ton of bricks
This can't be realIt just couldn't be
I haven't live my life to the fullness.
I still have dreams I want to do
My main dream was to see again.
"Why so soon?" I asked
"Someone needs you more," He answered.
I can't go.
Not right now.
He mentioned I have no other choice
God, why did this happened today?
I was in perfect health!
I don't smoke, drugs and drink
He took me to the light, a very bright one.
The further we walked toward, more blind I became
I felt someone's hands over my eyes.
I looked up to him.
He was the most wonderful being I ever saw
I saw the love and closeness around him
I couldn't believe it
My God, I was in pure heaven
Someone pinched me
Ouch, that's hurts.
I finally saw my friend for the first time
I was cure from being blind.
I wondered how I got here.
My friend mentioned "Maybe, it was God's plan.
You need faith to believe the impossible."
God works in mysterouis ways.
He restored my faith
I gave up all hope in God long time ago
The doctors thought I couldn't see any more
The car accident was tragically for my eyes
I praised the lord for my sight again
I was another miracle

Kazz

Copyright ©2003 Kazz Falcon

I got to wonder...

Worried

I got to wonder...
By Kazz Falcon

I got to wonder...
He wouldn't give me that much effection
He wouldn't hold hands
He wouldn't kiss me
He wouldn't look in my eyes
He wouldn't hold me in his arms
He wouldn't sleep with me
He wouldn't talk to me
He wouldn't come home
Things was fabulous in the beginning
Lately, he gave me the cold shoulder
I tried to talk to him
He just walk away from me
We hardly have any fights
It couldn't be me
I got to wonder...
It is really me?
Doesn't he find me attraction?
Doesn't he find me beautiful?
Doesn't he find me smart?
Doesn't he find me funny
Doesn't he find me positive?
Doesn't he find me truthworthy
I got to wonder...
I thought we would enjoy our lives
I thought we would be in love forever
I thought we would conquer anything
I thought we would face our troubles
I thought we would grow old together
What happened to us?
I got to wonder...

Why The Letter??

Worried

Why The Letter?

Confession is good to the soul. I killed Steve and buried the past. No one will ever turn me into the police. At least, Steve' murder is out in the open. I felt less guilty now. It is such an relief that I don't have to keep it inside of me any more.

But you should have gone to prison,and you should not be publishing such a letter,you carry on while a life was lost,and you seem proud of that.

His family suffers,his friends suffered,yet you kept it a secret,I hope this follows you the rest of your life,and that he looks down at you all the time shaking his head,he paid a big price for your not being honest.

I hope you are happy!

Well said! I am happy that I got away with murder. Yet, the police will not arrest me at all. Some people need to grant their last dying wish, which I fillfulled. He is happier in death than he was alive. I can't deny his true happiness. I did a good thing afterall. He wanted that way. Have a nice week.

Gary BUSTED me!!

Worried

Gary: I got a question.

Me: Fire away.

Gary: I'm sorry that I saw what something you may not have told me. Gay boards

Gary: That I think you didn't want to tell me, but it might not be you.

Me: I didn't tell you. That's the truth. Like I said, I am TAINTED!

Damn, what I was thinking? Why on God's green earth I told him the truth? I made a drastic mistake. I was being so careful. I don't want to end up in jail for the attempted murder on my ex, Miguel.

I hoped Gary doesn't call the police nor no one does! I hoped he doesn't im me any more. I can't slip up again. Telling him my full name was a huge mistake. All these years, I was calm and cool.

Now, the guard is down.

Last night, Gary looked me up on google. The post came back to haunt me. I completely forgot about the post on gay.com. Some people was getting too close to the attempted murder. I won't open my mouth anymore; the police won't get an confession from me.

I must better lay off the drugs/booze for a while. I was getting careless. I came too far; then again, the booze was getting rid the guilt for me.

3/4/04 Thursday

Happy

I have a quicky funny SCAREY story to tell u from this morning!
I ran into some trouble with the police at the bus stop.
I was waiting for the bus, playing the Tetris game on gameboy.
I looked up and noticed the police got out of the car.
I figured they were going somewhere.
They went straight to me and.........presto, i was an suspect! lol
They wanted to see me ID.
At first, I refused.
I wanted to know why
They asked me if I was sptting on people.
I said, "No."
They asked me for my ID again; I gave them my bus ID.
They continued to ask about spitting.
I told them many times "NO, I did not spit on anyone!"
They didn't believed me at all.
The police mentioned he wore a white t shirt and a leather coat!
FOr a monent I was worried.
I got scared.......so badly, i wanted to run away.
It really look like I did the spitting on someone.
I was also wearing a white t shirt and a leather coat!
Of course, they thought I really did it!
The black guy who called the police showed up and confessed I was not the one!
The spitting guy had CURLY HAIR, white t shirt, the leather coat and BLACK sunglasses!
I was so gay happy that I was off the hook, thanx to the black guy.
I don't have CURLY HAIR or black sunglass; my hair is short and I am FOUR EYES FREAK! lol
If that black guy didn't show up; I bet I will end up in jail for the weekend! LOL
It could have been worse!
The spitting guy could have robbed a bank or something bad!
Thanx God that it was not a MAJOR CRIME!

Buried The Past

Happy

Buried The Past
by Kazz Falcon
I killed someone to put him out of his miserably.
Steve was depressed all the time and there was no way out for him.
He didn't believe in suicide.
I offered to help him any way I can.
He kept on pestering me about killing him.
I mentioned that he should see a shrink.
He told me that shrinks doesn't work for him
He became more depressed
I felt sorry for him.
I was his only hope to end his unhappy life.
No one will miss him at all; he had few friends in his life.
He was known for running away from his problems and home.
Everyone figured he ran away agan.
That gave me the perfect chance to murder him in the woods in the mountains.
Of course, we waited for a while.
His friend, Tom, filed a missing person report without me knowing it.
I couldn't believe it; it could ruin our plan.
We feared we won't be able to pull it off.
Lucky for us, Steve went away for a while.
The police tracked him down in New Orleans.
Steve sent Tom an email; Tom was happy to hear from him.
Tom learned that Steve will stay in New Orleans to start a new lifeThen Steve secretly came back to LA.
Few days later, I ended his life for one and for all.
I clobbered him with a shovel, then I used an axe.
I buried him throughout the woods.
To this day, as long his friends think Steve is somewhere else, I got away with MURDER!