The Street Person

Sad

The Street Person
By Kazz Falcon

Am I becoming one of them?
Not in a homeless sense in a way.
These past few months, my life seems to be perfect.
I have my own place, great friends and everything.
Now, it doesn't seem I have everything.
For some time, I get headaches; I felt pain in the brain.
I don't know why I get pain.
I felt like I am losing touch with reality.
Sometimes, I have "crying outbursts."
Lately, I have less contact with friends.
I am shutting out the world around me.
I caught myself laughed for no reason at all.
From the pain in my brain, I believed I am getting some kind of mental disorder/illness.
Since then, I hardly do anything any more
I don't go to the movies, eat out, friend's house and more.
I have poor concentration too.
I can't keep my mind on one thing for a long period of time.
I tend to go elsewhere with my thought.
Also, when someone is talking, my mind goes elsewhere.
Sometimes, I don't eye to eye contact while talking.
Lately, on the bus, I always looked out of the window and my mind goes wandered.
I tried to read too, but can't get through reading the whole thing.
I go back and forth!
My mind is elsewhere.
I haven't check out the pain in the brain yet.

Empty Words

Loopy

Empty Words
by Kazz Falcon

Empty Words
"I'm sorry"
I know I kept on making mistakes.
Please forgive me for the upteenth time
I would never ever do it again
I promised you with all my heart.
I would remain faithful
I won't turn the other cheek
"I'm sorry"
I hoped you believe me this time
I really hope so
You have more faith in our love
Please forgive me
I am counting on yr faith to get us through
I won't count out our love again
"I'm sorry"
I would do anything
I would stop seeing her
I would erase her from my mind
I would move out of town with you
I would tear up her phone number
"I'm sorry"
I am begging for another chance
I just can't live without you
I know I made so many mistakes
I can't see my life without you
You are the one for me
Please, pretty please take me serious
Please believe me
Please trust me
Please forgive me
Look at my tears
They are as real as "I'm sorry."
Empty words

Surreal Dream

Frustrated

Surreal Dream
By Kazz Falcon

There was a knock on the door
It must be one of my friends
He was my eyes
We supposed to go shopping today
I always love our times together
I opened my door
Someone else was there
He told me that my time has come
I couldn't believe it
My jaw dropped like a ton of bricks
This can't be realIt just couldn't be
I haven't live my life to the fullness.
I still have dreams I want to do
My main dream was to see again.
"Why so soon?" I asked
"Someone needs you more," He answered.
I can't go.
Not right now.
He mentioned I have no other choice
God, why did this happened today?
I was in perfect health!
I don't smoke, drugs and drink
He took me to the light, a very bright one.
The further we walked toward, more blind I became
I felt someone's hands over my eyes.
I looked up to him.
He was the most wonderful being I ever saw
I saw the love and closeness around him
I couldn't believe it
My God, I was in pure heaven
Someone pinched me
Ouch, that's hurts.
I finally saw my friend for the first time
I was cure from being blind.
I wondered how I got here.
My friend mentioned "Maybe, it was God's plan.
You need faith to believe the impossible."
God works in mysterouis ways.
He restored my faith
I gave up all hope in God long time ago
The doctors thought I couldn't see any more
The car accident was tragically for my eyes
I praised the lord for my sight again
I was another miracle

Kazz

Copyright ©2003 Kazz Falcon

I got to wonder...

Worried

I got to wonder...
By Kazz Falcon

I got to wonder...
He wouldn't give me that much effection
He wouldn't hold hands
He wouldn't kiss me
He wouldn't look in my eyes
He wouldn't hold me in his arms
He wouldn't sleep with me
He wouldn't talk to me
He wouldn't come home
Things was fabulous in the beginning
Lately, he gave me the cold shoulder
I tried to talk to him
He just walk away from me
We hardly have any fights
It couldn't be me
I got to wonder...
It is really me?
Doesn't he find me attraction?
Doesn't he find me beautiful?
Doesn't he find me smart?
Doesn't he find me funny
Doesn't he find me positive?
Doesn't he find me truthworthy
I got to wonder...
I thought we would enjoy our lives
I thought we would be in love forever
I thought we would conquer anything
I thought we would face our troubles
I thought we would grow old together
What happened to us?
I got to wonder...

Why The Letter??

Worried

Why The Letter?

Confession is good to the soul. I killed Steve and buried the past. No one will ever turn me into the police. At least, Steve' murder is out in the open. I felt less guilty now. It is such an relief that I don't have to keep it inside of me any more.

But you should have gone to prison,and you should not be publishing such a letter,you carry on while a life was lost,and you seem proud of that.

His family suffers,his friends suffered,yet you kept it a secret,I hope this follows you the rest of your life,and that he looks down at you all the time shaking his head,he paid a big price for your not being honest.

I hope you are happy!

Well said! I am happy that I got away with murder. Yet, the police will not arrest me at all. Some people need to grant their last dying wish, which I fillfulled. He is happier in death than he was alive. I can't deny his true happiness. I did a good thing afterall. He wanted that way. Have a nice week.

Gary BUSTED me!!

Worried

Gary: I got a question.

Me: Fire away.

Gary: I'm sorry that I saw what something you may not have told me. Gay boards

Gary: That I think you didn't want to tell me, but it might not be you.

Me: I didn't tell you. That's the truth. Like I said, I am TAINTED!

Damn, what I was thinking? Why on God's green earth I told him the truth? I made a drastic mistake. I was being so careful. I don't want to end up in jail for the attempted murder on my ex, Miguel.

I hoped Gary doesn't call the police nor no one does! I hoped he doesn't im me any more. I can't slip up again. Telling him my full name was a huge mistake. All these years, I was calm and cool.

Now, the guard is down.

Last night, Gary looked me up on google. The post came back to haunt me. I completely forgot about the post on gay.com. Some people was getting too close to the attempted murder. I won't open my mouth anymore; the police won't get an confession from me.

I must better lay off the drugs/booze for a while. I was getting careless. I came too far; then again, the booze was getting rid the guilt for me.

3/4/04 Thursday

Happy

I have a quicky funny SCAREY story to tell u from this morning!
I ran into some trouble with the police at the bus stop.
I was waiting for the bus, playing the Tetris game on gameboy.
I looked up and noticed the police got out of the car.
I figured they were going somewhere.
They went straight to me and.........presto, i was an suspect! lol
They wanted to see me ID.
At first, I refused.
I wanted to know why
They asked me if I was sptting on people.
I said, "No."
They asked me for my ID again; I gave them my bus ID.
They continued to ask about spitting.
I told them many times "NO, I did not spit on anyone!"
They didn't believed me at all.
The police mentioned he wore a white t shirt and a leather coat!
FOr a monent I was worried.
I got scared.......so badly, i wanted to run away.
It really look like I did the spitting on someone.
I was also wearing a white t shirt and a leather coat!
Of course, they thought I really did it!
The black guy who called the police showed up and confessed I was not the one!
The spitting guy had CURLY HAIR, white t shirt, the leather coat and BLACK sunglasses!
I was so gay happy that I was off the hook, thanx to the black guy.
I don't have CURLY HAIR or black sunglass; my hair is short and I am FOUR EYES FREAK! lol
If that black guy didn't show up; I bet I will end up in jail for the weekend! LOL
It could have been worse!
The spitting guy could have robbed a bank or something bad!
Thanx God that it was not a MAJOR CRIME!

Buried The Past

Happy

Buried The Past
by Kazz Falcon
I killed someone to put him out of his miserably.
Steve was depressed all the time and there was no way out for him.
He didn't believe in suicide.
I offered to help him any way I can.
He kept on pestering me about killing him.
I mentioned that he should see a shrink.
He told me that shrinks doesn't work for him
He became more depressed
I felt sorry for him.
I was his only hope to end his unhappy life.
No one will miss him at all; he had few friends in his life.
He was known for running away from his problems and home.
Everyone figured he ran away agan.
That gave me the perfect chance to murder him in the woods in the mountains.
Of course, we waited for a while.
His friend, Tom, filed a missing person report without me knowing it.
I couldn't believe it; it could ruin our plan.
We feared we won't be able to pull it off.
Lucky for us, Steve went away for a while.
The police tracked him down in New Orleans.
Steve sent Tom an email; Tom was happy to hear from him.
Tom learned that Steve will stay in New Orleans to start a new lifeThen Steve secretly came back to LA.
Few days later, I ended his life for one and for all.
I clobbered him with a shovel, then I used an axe.
I buried him throughout the woods.
To this day, as long his friends think Steve is somewhere else, I got away with MURDER!

Gayly Forward

Silly

Gayly Forward
By Kazz Falcon

I got the "gayly forward" from my gay friend, Chris, in Dallas in the early 1990's.
After church one night, Chris was kind enough to take me home in his car.
HE doesn't know where I lived. So, I gave him directions to my place.
Halfway there, Chris wondered out loud of where we was going.
I mentioned, "Don't worry. We are in the right direction. Go straight!"
Chris said, "We can't go straight."
I just freaked out big time. I didn't noticed the road was being work on. There was no signs at all.
I didn't saw car troubles or an car accident, nothing out of the ordinary. I thought he was mistaken.
I tried to "straightened him out."
"Just go straight, don't turn right or left, just straight," I said.
Boy, he told me a whopper!
Chris said, "We can't go straight, dear! There was no way possible to go straight."
I got confused and lost even more. Hey, I thought I was giving him the RIGHT DIRECTIONS to my place!
I hoped I didn't send him down the wrong street!
"Hello, I know what I am talking about. I do live in the area. I know which way to go! We must go straight."
Chris revealed his gay joke, "We just can't go straight. We need to go GAYLY FORWARD!"
At first, it didn't dawn on me. He explained it once more. I finally got the joke.
We both laughed. Chris really had me going! It made me to freak out about "GOING STRAIGHT"

spiritalien at 10:58:00 PM PST

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
wow hysterically funny.Comment from anhinga69 - 2/2/04 5:54 PM

7/11

Loopy

This afternoon, I just came back from Lucy's with my money order for the rent. I was planning to stop by 7/11 on the way home, but i changed my mind. I was too playing tetris on my gameboy.

I walked up to my place on the hill; i turned around.....my friend was right behind me going to my place! I was happy to see him. I mentioned someone was following me. I learned Mike was at 7/11. LOL

Damn, 7/11! I should have went with my gut! we could walk to my place together from 7/11. that was very odd.

Queen Resident

Silly

Queens resident here

this queen doesn't live there.

I lived in Hollyweird, the land of the freaks!

I have my own castle called Queendom!

ROFL

Michael Brown

Silly

"How come you changed your nic from spiritalien? No problem, I was just wondering." - Michael Brown

The alien was needed back on his home planet.

The alien left his favourite pussy behind to keep an eye on things while the alien is taking care of some business.

Do u use CONDOMS?

Chillin'

I hardly uses any condoms.

I HATE THE FEEL OF THEM!

I do have the disease

I still won't use ANY CONDOMS at all.

American Idol

Happy

American Idol

Tuesday/Wednesday - January 27/28 are AUDITIONS shows at 8 PM on FOX

Then, the next week.......

February 3, 2004, Tuesday at 8 PM is "Nearly 120 performers arrive in Hollywood for grueling rehearsals and auditions."

February 4, 2004, Wednesday at 8:30 PM is "In Hollywood, 32 semifinalists make the cut."

Sweetie, Darling!

Worried

I have a "Sweetheart" problem!

No, we are not lovers!

Over in another forum, I mentioned SWEETHEART to a person I know since February 2003.
she got pretty upset by that.

She mentioned "the term sweetheart could be considered a form of sexual harassment."

how can it be sexual harassment when Sweetheart came from a gay man like myself?

lots of homosexuals say, sweetheart, babe, darling and others to their friends and everyone else.

it doesn't make any sense to me!


This entry has 1 comments

sweetheart can't be consiedered a form of sexual harassment simply because it lacks any physical connotation. Although an organ of the human body, it does not posess any specific characteristic in which one can percieve indentification. Such as sweetlegs, sweetboobs, or sexy_____ for that matter.

Comment from booyaaa808 - 2/19/04 5:46 AM

Days Of Our Lives

Surprised

The new issue of Soap Opera Digest revealed the serial killer as Marlena Evans Black (Deidre Hall).

Be sure to watch Days Of Our Lives this Wednesday, January 28, 2004 on NBC.

The TV audience, not the characters, will know the serial killer on that day.

If you lived in Canada, you guys will be so lucky - u will know on Tuesday! Canada is a day ahead of USA!

Hello, Sweethearts!

Happy

"I suggest you do not call me sweetheart, because I am most certainly not your sweetheart." - Bow down to the Spoiler Queen!!! (LOLLYY)

Damn, Lollyy gave me an NASTY attitude for being friendly.

I really did nothing wrong at all. I was being friendly.

Of course, I replied to her HATEFUL post.......


"look, sweetheart!

do not tell me what to do.

i was being FRIENDLY!

there is nothing wrong being friendly with everyone!

top it all, it is such a honor to be call a SWEETHEART by anyone!!

next thing, u will say to everyone, "Do not WAVE at me!"

waving at someone is friendly as much as saying sweetheart!"


that was a good response to her......then I put her on ignore.

Yeah, i put called her a sweetheart again! lol

Well, since she is not a sweetheart, she is a SOURHEART!

Sourheart fits her to the tee!

It is too bad we don't live in the same city. If we did, I won't wave at her.

I will FLIP HER OFF! rofl


"it's a nice term of endearment" - Jermahon

thanx for that comment. I agreed with my other friend 100%! I called everyone sweetheart
many times in the forums before and I won't stop now!

it is just me!

my gay best friend in Dallas always say that to me all the time. It just rub on me. Thanx to Kevin, i say it now.

Why? It is a nice gesture on my behalf.

also, I say BABE all the time too or MISS THING!!

Sweetheart, Babe, Miss Thing are just POSITIVE words!

In her case, she will be known as SOURHEART! hehe

Full Fledge STALKER!

Silly

Brian and I went to the bus stop in Burbank. This one NUTTY lady claimed I was stalking her.

Damn! I just got there from IKEA.

She demanded me to leave. I flat out refused. Do you know what I did? I screamed out loud, "This is a free country! No, I am not a stalker!" I mentioned to Brian that she is CRAZY! I used the middle finger too. I called her worse names! Oops.....I was such a lowlife with her. You could see me now! LOL

Brian was nowhere in sight. He didn't want to get involved with THIS STALKER! He stood behind the bus stop wall till things calm down.

She moved to the next seat. I flipped her off again, "BYE!!" Brian finally joined me on the bench. We kidded about the lady.

That wasn't the last of it. We caught the same bus. I wanted so much to stay behind her on the bus for more STALKING. We sat at the back. She stood in front of the bus near the bus driver. Curses her! I can't stalk her any more.

We contunied to kid on the bus about that nutty lady. The bus let her off. I got a funny ideal. I should have help her if you know what I mean.

She needed help with her bags. I will have help her too, more like STALKING! But, I know what will happen. She screamed, "Get away from me, you stalker! Get away from me!" I know I will throw her stuff out of the door and flip her off again! ROFL

Here is another FUNNY THING. After one night with that lady, I held the World Record for being a real life stalker in a short time.

Ooooohhhhh, I became a damn stalker in ten minutes! LOL

You better watch out for this stalker!

1/4/04 Sunday

Happy

It was time for the bank once again. I was low with money! I took bus #2 to the bank. It was about time I got more money to SPEND! I can't afford to go shopping every week. I was POOR WHITE TRASH! I was just an average slutty cheap whore!

I went to the bus stop on Sunset/Vermount. I didn't want to go home at all. It was about 1PM. I want to enjoy my day. The new Borders bookstore was a good way to spend the day. It opened few weeks ago. I caught the bus and called Brian again. He called me back, "get some ideals at IKEA for his place." Well, there goes the bookstore! Wah, wah!

Brian buzzed the gate; I walked up the stairs. Brian hurried out of the door, "Peter is not going; depressed about money." We walked to the bus stop; I revealed that my computer was fixed few days ago. I mentioned that I need to get out behind the computer and go out more. We waited for the bus on Gower/SM.

Brian wondered why I hid the HIV status from my ex lover. The truth - I just wanted to be love; no one wants to love an HIV + person. Also, I wasn't the only who does it. I met Miguel Garcia at a bath house; we never had safe sex. Top it all, I won't get in trouble for the attempted murder. Miguel will lie to his family; "No, I don't have it."

We went online at my place. We got the bus schedule for IKEA. I was convinced that IKEA was on Hollywood Blvd. He checked IKEA web site; nope! We waited for the 603 bus. Brian brought up Pier One; Damn, that was the place I was thinking of! I was wrong; I ole him a dinner! We made a bet at my place. We got off Chevy Chase/San Fernando. We were both freezing. The bus came 30 minutes later.

We looked around IKEA. He got some good ideals for his place. Some day, he will fix up his place. He don't have the money right now. School takes up most of his time. I like the new colorful snake they had. I was thisclose of buying one and that bear again! I gave my old Bear to Miguel's niece two years ago. Right now, I would wait for the stuff toys. Brian wasn't feeling well; he was too hot from all the walking. He grabbed a snack at the food counter. I played Tetris all the way to the bus stop......Suddenly, I became a FULL FLEDGE STALKER!

1/3/04 Saturday

Happy

Peter called me about Today's plans. I need to pick up my mail, but I could do it on Monday. He wanted to come over to the village for a while. It should be an hour - TOPS! I called him back, "go ahead without me; I can meet u there." There was no sense of going to their place and catch the darn bus again! I took the bus #2 come. I won't wait for bus #4.......only the first bus.

I got off Highland/Sunset and walked to the Village. I didn't rush; I just took my sweet ass time. I took my usual route. I entered the Cyber Center. Peter was on the first computer. I playfully put my hand on his head to get his attention. I signed in with the lady. She put me at #4 by Brian. Brian mentioned they got there 10 minutes ago.

I didn't have that much fun online; it was so freaking boring! Brian's time was up; I went out with him. I was bored of the place. Peter stayed on pass his time. We just waited in the lobby for him. I used the restroom. I brought out Olga's letter; Brian thought it was good. At least, they will know about Miguel and I. I sealed the letter in the envelope and put it in the backpack.

We got the mail; I mailed Olga's letter. I realized I forgot the blue one at home. I will go to the bank tomorrow. The library was such a bored; I played Tetris. Brian wanted to leave. 30 more minutes to go on the web. I didn't want him to miss his chance. Peter and I looked at a QUEER book; i really like that book. The Michael Alig article got my attention; Brian read it. Peter went online again and I thought I was bad! lol

Peter invited me to watch the movies at their place; no thanx! I just want to go home; it was too damn cold! On the bus, Peter asked "Are u going home." I looked back, "YES!!" They didn't say goodbye; my mind was on Tetris! I arrived home, freezing! I turned on the heater and that was about it!