Saturday 6/12

Happy

U read The Honest Thief, didn't you? hehe

4 AM, we woke up. We both didn't get any sleep last night. He kept on moving around like a fish on dry land. Right now, I am feeling it big time.

He took an shower. I was so tired that I just stay in bed. I want to sleep again! He got dressed for work. I noticed he was looking for the money I took.........some says, "STEAL." Whatever, dude! In my self defense, I was an honest thief!

He looked everywhere for his money. I pretended I didn't know about it. He was convinced it was where he put it. Man, he was so right. I was kind enough to look for the money. Hey, after all, I was a nice person! LOL

Really, the money was rightfully mine. I paid for the U Haul truck! I had an plan in motion about the money. I will persaude him that he spent it at the clubs this past two nights. We all know that alcoholics loves to SPEND MONEY! See, I got it made! You can say that I am one sneaky fox. The Golden Egg was all mine for keeps.

He didn't have enough time to search for the money; the bus was coming any minute! I wondered what ttime he gets off. He gave me attitude, "Why? You won't answer the phone." Hello, I forgot to put the phone on the ringer. Then he left the door opened and took off. I shut the door. I slept till 10 something. I got the nerve to search through his things. There got to be something there, but what?

Hey, I can break into his bank account again. I didn't get in any trouble the last time. Boy, the fun i had in 2002. Hmmm, where to begin? Well, I got his SSI number, his sister's address and, presto, I was him online! They called it Identify Theft! Oh, boy! I stole his identify! LOL

My, I need to look out for myself. I just opened up his banking account online. In a way, I control his account. I knew where the money went; mostly the clubs and the bathhouses. I was on the verge of being homeless again, all thanx to his drinking.

I looked at his papers. So far, there was no bank statements at all. I wondered why. Then it occurred to me, he ole the IRS over $2,000. He knew the IRS will get their money from his account. Well, I was out of luck. So badly, I wanted to break into his account once again! I can easily put the money in his account; also, his first paycheck. What was I thinking? If themoney was there, Miguel will spend it all the next day at the clubs. I know Miguel pretty damn well.

I struck gold. I came upon a State Farm Insurance paper. He was in a car accident in 1990. He wanted the insurance company to pay for the accident. Dear Lord! I was suprised at all. He told me he was in a car accident long time ago; before our time together. Well, when I lived with him on Gramercy, he was in about three car accidents from........drum rolls, please...............drunk driving! He also ended up in the hospital, not from a car accident. He coughed up blood at work from drinking too much alcohol. During that time, he found out that he was HIV +, thanx to me.

I still need to scan the insurance paper, among other things I will get sooner or later. I don't know why his family is in denied about his drinking problem. All the signs was there since the1990's. Yet, they don't want to accept the fact. Well, they have to WAKE UP before it's too damn late. I tried to tell them in a letter last year. Man, Olga got mad at me for saying such a thing. Oh well, I did my best with his family.

I put up his papers. I will look at them again soon. I will read all of them and scan them. If no one believes me, maybe the scan papers will open their eyes to the real truth; Miguel is a alcoholic. I will say it again. MIGUEL IS AN ALCOHOLIC!

I got the $130. I will use some to pay the phone bill and put the rest in a safe place where Miguel can't find it. I found the "lost $10." It was in my pants all this time. I thought I lost the money in the street when I went to Poineer Market. I put on the clothes and shoes. I wanted for the bus by 7/11. Michael called me, "I will be there in one hour." I told him I need to go to the bank and please don't leave my place. I got on the Sunset bus. I paid the phone bill. I took the subway to the bank. I put the money in my account. I wanted to stop by Circuit City for Super Mario Bros. I want that game again! I hink I will go some other time. I went home.

Michael arrived for his email and the flyer. I told him about Miguel; he came home drunk. He asked, "Is Miguel an voilent drunk?" Dear lord! This was the truth. Miguel was an happy drunk. He have never ever hit me once. He gave me his business card. It really look nice. I helped him with the flyer as I played Bomberman.He was really excited with the outcome. I noticed the missing person on the flyer. I mentioned it was GOING TOO FAR! He recently started doing the astrology for his new income. He recently made $40 from his lady. I really don't believed in that crap at all. We make our own lifes. We don't need to stars and the moon to make our lifes. He really knows the astrology quite well. He have been learning for years. He was ready to take on the world with the stars and the moon!

5:37 PM, an SOBER Miguel called me. He tried to make nice with me. He wanted to come straight home after work. I lied, "I was at a friend's house. I can meet you there in an hour." Then, he will get something to eat at the chinese restaurant by 7/11 till I meet him there. Yeah, whatever! Still, we have to talk about the two nights. We can't put it off any longer.

Michael sent another email and eat some Tuna. He doesn't want to be here when Miguel gets here. I decided I won't watch any tv this evening. I just don't want to blown my cover. I don't want him here tonight. I need some TIME ALONE! So farm, so good. Miguel haven't knock on the door or window. He believed I was really out with a friend!

People, sometimes we got to lie as long it is a GOOD REASON!

Honest Thief

Happy

What can I say? This morning, Miguel almost found me out about the $130 money. Well, I was trying to save him some money. This past two nights, he came home DRUNK as a skunk! Since he wants to get drunk, he won't be drunk at my place any more. I put my foot down for once and for all. Then again, was i that honest about the money?

I was an honest thief! Was there a such thing as a honest thief? Hmm. It really depends on your look at it. Miguel promised me that he will pay me back for renting the U Haul truck on Wednesday. So far, he haven't. So, I took upon myself and pay me back with his own money. At the rate he was going this past two nights, it looked like he won't pay me back at all. I was looking for my best interest. You guys will probably do the same exact thing. You will steal your money back!

That is the God honest truth! See, I am an honest thief! LOL

Damn Miguel!

Angry

We woke up at 4 AM. He needs to work at 6 AM again. He got ready. He said, "I love you." I didn't even respond to him. I was still mad about last night. He can't come home drunk again. Last night was the final straw. I really thought I was helping him out. Boy, I need to put a stop to it. He can't do it any more. I won't allow it. This was my home. He won't mess up my safe haven at all. He said, "I love you" again. Those words was empty; it doesn't mean anything to me. He went to work.

Today felt like the weekend. There was no soaps because of the Ronald Reagan Funeral. I turned on the TV. Much to my suprised, Bold & Beautiful was on! Say what? The soaps wasn't on today. Every network showned the funeral! Man, I hoped I didn't miss Y&R again! I missed it last monday. I forgot to put the tape it. It looked like I missed Y&R again. Days Of Our Lives wasn't on at 1 PM, but As The World Turns and One Life to Live was on. I wantedto see OLTL; ABC didn't come in clearly. So, I watched ATWT. James Steinbeck was talking to the camera in prison. It was hard not to change the channel. James was quite fagulous.

I looked at CBS site. I found that some areas saw today's Y&R and some didn't. That's good to know. Thank God that I didn't miss my favourite soap! Yesterday, Kevin Fisher told his mother that he was going to Canada; the police was after him again; he escaped the mental hospital. Kevin opened the door and saw his half brother, Michael Baldwin. Michael knew Kevin was at their mom's place in Detroit. Michael doesn't know that the police is trailing him to find Kevin! Y&R is the best soap today; Kevin and Michael are awesome as brothers! We just can't get enough of them and Joan Van Ark as their mother, Gloria Fisher! Most Y&R fans love them very much.

From CBS web site......

Please Note: Due to special CBS News coverage of President Ronald Reagan’s funeral services on Friday, June 11, Y&R will be fully preempted on the East Coast. But you won’t miss a thing! Friday’s episode of Y&R will air on Monday. On the West Coast, a classic episode of Y&R or Price will air.

I watched Passions too. I gave up that boring soaps few months ago. I was fed up with the slowest moving storylines! It was the same old storylines! Ivy want to see Eve; they need to stop Eve's sister, Liz, from destroying their lifes. They both got drunk in Eve's office. Eve mentioned that she was the one who injured TC long time ago. It wasn't Julian's fault. Some hitman tried to kill Martin and Katherine. Martin and hinm fought over the gun. The gun went off. Katherine believed that Martin was dead. Suddenly, the hitman noticed he was shot. Martin and Katherine was relieved. Martine wants her to leave the city; she refused. Martin wanted to dump the body. They didn't know that Alistair was watching from afar. Alistair want Martin dead for stealing his wife! And so on and so on.......

Michael called me throughout the day. The death and the funeral took a toll on him. He can't stop crying; it was too emotional for him. I care less about Ronald Reagan's funeral. I was not that interest. Ronald was no JFK! I got some money from Miguel. He wouldn't mind at all. I need to get some french dressing and dr. Pepper. I brought the stuff at Poineer. Most times, I get my soft drinks there. It is always .99 cent. I waited for the bus. Michael called me. HE want me to look up an address for him on the web. He will call back in 20 minutes. I put the stuff away. I couldn't find the address. Oh well, he find the address in his book. Michael said "I will come over to do an flyer for astrology job tomorrow."

Once again, Miguel didn't showed up again. 5 PM came with no signs of him. I figured that he doesn't want to face me about last night. He knows I was pretty upset with him. Low and behold, Miguel come home DRUNK AGAIN after 11 PM! Hello! Now, i was really angry with him. Two times in a row, HELL NO! I posted my troubles on the soap forum! Jermahon always listens to me; she is a great help! She was like a second mother.

Miguel was passed out cold on the bed. I checked his bag and pants. My God! He hardly have any money, except a few dollars. Man, I wanted the BIG money! I found his secret money; $130. I hid it from him. He won't spend a dime of that money. He got to save his damn money! I found something very interesting in his daybook. Would you believed that Miguel already got his first paycheck from his new job? Miguel didn't tell me at all. That sneaky bastard! Now, he have no reason to stay with me. He can stay at the hotel. Well, I have to tell him that he must leave. If he wants to come home drunk; he can do it at the hotel!

Thursday 6/10/04

Quiet

I came upon another average BORING day. My days are usually like that, pretty freaking boring. That is why I haven't did my journal this past few months. There was nothing exciting to write about. Some boring life I have!

We woke up about 4 AM. Miguel goes to work at 6 AM. He always leave by 4:45 AM to catch the bus. He mentioned he gets off at 5 PM. Sometimes, I don't go back to sleep. It was hard to go back to sleep. By 4:45 AM comes around, I will be wide awake. I tried to fell asleep. Once I woke up, my day begins. One time, Miguel woke up at 4 AM. That same night, I didn't went to bed till he left for work. There was no sense of going to sleep at 1/2 AM. Two/three hours sleep won't cut it for me.

I couldn't able to fell asleep. I had things to do. I watched KTLA morning news for a while. I ate breakfast. I cleaned the U Haul truck. Some stupid teen wrote on the passanger door. I washed it off. I took the truck back. I picked up the mail at the post office. I brought some video games at Best Buy and Target. I went home.

I looked at the time; 6 PM. Hmm. Miguel didn't come home yet. It was getting late. I waited another hour. There was no sign of him. I got hungry. I ate an tv dinner. There was no reason to cook for Miguel. It was still late. Couple more hours, Miguel was still out. I wondered what happen to him. He said he will be home by 5. It was about 10. Miguel haven't call either. He know the phone number by heart. I wasn't online all the much in the evening. He could have buzz me. I had enough of the boredom and signed online again.

I got tired of waiting. The sleep was getting to me. I just went to bed. I haven't getting any sleep lately. Miguel wake up at 4/5 AM for work. My sleep pattern went to hell. I normally go to bed about 1 AM and get up late. I was in a deep sleep. I heard a noise from outside of the window. At first, I thought I was dreaming. No, it was only Miguel saying my name and knocking on the window. I didn't want to get up at all. I was in sleep mode.

I tapped on the window. I put on the shorts. Most times, I sleep in the nude. I started last year. Miguel loves to sllep naked. It was like that since we lived together on Gramercy few years ago. He wanted me to sleep in the nude. I refused; I knew what will happen. Whenever my friends spend the night, no nude in bed.

I let him in the door. DEAR LORD! He came home drunk! So much, I wanted to talk to him. Mother Nature was calling me! I returned to him in the room. He was already laying down on the floor with his white blanket. I tried to get him to the bed. He wanted to left alone; "nobody cares for him." Hello, I do care! I was letting him to stay with me for two weeks. I got in the bed, eyes closed. Miguel took a shower. I put the white blanket on the bed and went back to bed. I really hate when someone sleeps on the floor; my bed is BIG enough for three people!

I turned on the tv; I couldn't sleep. Taxi was on. Miguel ate something at the desk; he was that drunk. We watched Oprah for a while; Nate was on. I like Nate; one handsome dude. The Ugliest Room was back. I think I saw this one before. Miguel jumped in bed. The TV was off.

So much, I wanted to talk to him. He just can't come home drunk at all. I never ever want to relive history again! Once was enough. Now, he can't mess up at all. I was his only hope. He had no place else to go. He doesn't want to live with his sister in Whittier nor his ex lover's place in West Hollywood. What can I do? It was late to talk to him. He won't listen to my words. Well, I might as well talk to him tomorrow!

Wednesday 6/9/04

Mischievous

Miguel wanted to buy some black dress pants at Out Of the Closet, not the gay closet! LOL. The Closet is a thift store. We took the bus to downtown LA for the sub way. We got off at Bob Hope square. That's Hollywood/Vine corner to u! He tried to call Max about his stuff; no such luck.

He told me to wait for him at the corner. I was glad I brought the gameboy with me. I waited for a long time. He finally called me, "meet me at gay center." I arrived, "let's get a Taxi Van." It was a bad ideal; the bed will not fit. So, I brought up U Haul. We were down the street. He thought it was on Santa Monica/Highland. Nope, U Haul was near the banks on Vermount.

I was there a few times. Robert and I rented a truck to move from Miguel's place on Cherokee in 2002. The moment I got my Waterloo place, I didn't want to wait at all. Without telling MigueL, I moved! Much to my suprise, Miguel was there, passed out on the bed.

Any way, We took the bus Hollywood/Vine. Miguel need to use the restroom. The Frolic Room was closed. We hoped on the subway. I was thisclose to mention that he can use the restroom at the hospital. Suddenly, he got off the subway even before I had a chance to tell him about the hospital. We went to a place. I brought a coke to use the restroom. U know the drill, Customers Only rule! So, we both used it. He brougth a bag of chips. We were on the way. We got off the bus.

I said "I need to get some money. LEt's be on the safe side." He waited for me at the bus stop. I got the cash. We went to U Haul. I paid in cash for the truck; Miguel didn't have no credit card or ID. I had the credit card, ID AND two phone numbers. It was my first time to drive an U HAUL truck! Man, I was nervouse as hell. I hate driving big things except my own! Hehe.

We picked up his stuff. I saw Max confronted Miguel about the drugs. Max wants to know who took his drugs. Miguel can't remember his name. I really think Miguel was the one. I didn't talk to Max about it; it was none of my bizwax. Max mentioned that he would have kill him for taking his drugs. We got home; Miguel was in great pain; his muscle popped out during the move. We rested for a while. He drank some alcohol to cease the pain. He showed me the muscle; it was really bad. He finally popped the muscle back in. we rested more then we unpacked his things!

The Street Person

Sad

The Street Person
By Kazz Falcon

Am I becoming one of them?
Not in a homeless sense in a way.
These past few months, my life seems to be perfect.
I have my own place, great friends and everything.
Now, it doesn't seem I have everything.
For some time, I get headaches; I felt pain in the brain.
I don't know why I get pain.
I felt like I am losing touch with reality.
Sometimes, I have "crying outbursts."
Lately, I have less contact with friends.
I am shutting out the world around me.
I caught myself laughed for no reason at all.
From the pain in my brain, I believed I am getting some kind of mental disorder/illness.
Since then, I hardly do anything any more
I don't go to the movies, eat out, friend's house and more.
I have poor concentration too.
I can't keep my mind on one thing for a long period of time.
I tend to go elsewhere with my thought.
Also, when someone is talking, my mind goes elsewhere.
Sometimes, I don't eye to eye contact while talking.
Lately, on the bus, I always looked out of the window and my mind goes wandered.
I tried to read too, but can't get through reading the whole thing.
I go back and forth!
My mind is elsewhere.
I haven't check out the pain in the brain yet.

Empty Words

Loopy

Empty Words
by Kazz Falcon

Empty Words
"I'm sorry"
I know I kept on making mistakes.
Please forgive me for the upteenth time
I would never ever do it again
I promised you with all my heart.
I would remain faithful
I won't turn the other cheek
"I'm sorry"
I hoped you believe me this time
I really hope so
You have more faith in our love
Please forgive me
I am counting on yr faith to get us through
I won't count out our love again
"I'm sorry"
I would do anything
I would stop seeing her
I would erase her from my mind
I would move out of town with you
I would tear up her phone number
"I'm sorry"
I am begging for another chance
I just can't live without you
I know I made so many mistakes
I can't see my life without you
You are the one for me
Please, pretty please take me serious
Please believe me
Please trust me
Please forgive me
Look at my tears
They are as real as "I'm sorry."
Empty words

Surreal Dream

Frustrated

Surreal Dream
By Kazz Falcon

There was a knock on the door
It must be one of my friends
He was my eyes
We supposed to go shopping today
I always love our times together
I opened my door
Someone else was there
He told me that my time has come
I couldn't believe it
My jaw dropped like a ton of bricks
This can't be realIt just couldn't be
I haven't live my life to the fullness.
I still have dreams I want to do
My main dream was to see again.
"Why so soon?" I asked
"Someone needs you more," He answered.
I can't go.
Not right now.
He mentioned I have no other choice
God, why did this happened today?
I was in perfect health!
I don't smoke, drugs and drink
He took me to the light, a very bright one.
The further we walked toward, more blind I became
I felt someone's hands over my eyes.
I looked up to him.
He was the most wonderful being I ever saw
I saw the love and closeness around him
I couldn't believe it
My God, I was in pure heaven
Someone pinched me
Ouch, that's hurts.
I finally saw my friend for the first time
I was cure from being blind.
I wondered how I got here.
My friend mentioned "Maybe, it was God's plan.
You need faith to believe the impossible."
God works in mysterouis ways.
He restored my faith
I gave up all hope in God long time ago
The doctors thought I couldn't see any more
The car accident was tragically for my eyes
I praised the lord for my sight again
I was another miracle

Kazz

Copyright ©2003 Kazz Falcon

I got to wonder...

Worried

I got to wonder...
By Kazz Falcon

I got to wonder...
He wouldn't give me that much effection
He wouldn't hold hands
He wouldn't kiss me
He wouldn't look in my eyes
He wouldn't hold me in his arms
He wouldn't sleep with me
He wouldn't talk to me
He wouldn't come home
Things was fabulous in the beginning
Lately, he gave me the cold shoulder
I tried to talk to him
He just walk away from me
We hardly have any fights
It couldn't be me
I got to wonder...
It is really me?
Doesn't he find me attraction?
Doesn't he find me beautiful?
Doesn't he find me smart?
Doesn't he find me funny
Doesn't he find me positive?
Doesn't he find me truthworthy
I got to wonder...
I thought we would enjoy our lives
I thought we would be in love forever
I thought we would conquer anything
I thought we would face our troubles
I thought we would grow old together
What happened to us?
I got to wonder...

Why The Letter??

Worried

Why The Letter?

Confession is good to the soul. I killed Steve and buried the past. No one will ever turn me into the police. At least, Steve' murder is out in the open. I felt less guilty now. It is such an relief that I don't have to keep it inside of me any more.

But you should have gone to prison,and you should not be publishing such a letter,you carry on while a life was lost,and you seem proud of that.

His family suffers,his friends suffered,yet you kept it a secret,I hope this follows you the rest of your life,and that he looks down at you all the time shaking his head,he paid a big price for your not being honest.

I hope you are happy!

Well said! I am happy that I got away with murder. Yet, the police will not arrest me at all. Some people need to grant their last dying wish, which I fillfulled. He is happier in death than he was alive. I can't deny his true happiness. I did a good thing afterall. He wanted that way. Have a nice week.

Gary BUSTED me!!

Worried

Gary: I got a question.

Me: Fire away.

Gary: I'm sorry that I saw what something you may not have told me. Gay boards

Gary: That I think you didn't want to tell me, but it might not be you.

Me: I didn't tell you. That's the truth. Like I said, I am TAINTED!

Damn, what I was thinking? Why on God's green earth I told him the truth? I made a drastic mistake. I was being so careful. I don't want to end up in jail for the attempted murder on my ex, Miguel.

I hoped Gary doesn't call the police nor no one does! I hoped he doesn't im me any more. I can't slip up again. Telling him my full name was a huge mistake. All these years, I was calm and cool.

Now, the guard is down.

Last night, Gary looked me up on google. The post came back to haunt me. I completely forgot about the post on gay.com. Some people was getting too close to the attempted murder. I won't open my mouth anymore; the police won't get an confession from me.

I must better lay off the drugs/booze for a while. I was getting careless. I came too far; then again, the booze was getting rid the guilt for me.

3/4/04 Thursday

Happy

I have a quicky funny SCAREY story to tell u from this morning!
I ran into some trouble with the police at the bus stop.
I was waiting for the bus, playing the Tetris game on gameboy.
I looked up and noticed the police got out of the car.
I figured they were going somewhere.
They went straight to me and.........presto, i was an suspect! lol
They wanted to see me ID.
At first, I refused.
I wanted to know why
They asked me if I was sptting on people.
I said, "No."
They asked me for my ID again; I gave them my bus ID.
They continued to ask about spitting.
I told them many times "NO, I did not spit on anyone!"
They didn't believed me at all.
The police mentioned he wore a white t shirt and a leather coat!
FOr a monent I was worried.
I got scared.......so badly, i wanted to run away.
It really look like I did the spitting on someone.
I was also wearing a white t shirt and a leather coat!
Of course, they thought I really did it!
The black guy who called the police showed up and confessed I was not the one!
The spitting guy had CURLY HAIR, white t shirt, the leather coat and BLACK sunglasses!
I was so gay happy that I was off the hook, thanx to the black guy.
I don't have CURLY HAIR or black sunglass; my hair is short and I am FOUR EYES FREAK! lol
If that black guy didn't show up; I bet I will end up in jail for the weekend! LOL
It could have been worse!
The spitting guy could have robbed a bank or something bad!
Thanx God that it was not a MAJOR CRIME!

Buried The Past

Happy

Buried The Past
by Kazz Falcon
I killed someone to put him out of his miserably.
Steve was depressed all the time and there was no way out for him.
He didn't believe in suicide.
I offered to help him any way I can.
He kept on pestering me about killing him.
I mentioned that he should see a shrink.
He told me that shrinks doesn't work for him
He became more depressed
I felt sorry for him.
I was his only hope to end his unhappy life.
No one will miss him at all; he had few friends in his life.
He was known for running away from his problems and home.
Everyone figured he ran away agan.
That gave me the perfect chance to murder him in the woods in the mountains.
Of course, we waited for a while.
His friend, Tom, filed a missing person report without me knowing it.
I couldn't believe it; it could ruin our plan.
We feared we won't be able to pull it off.
Lucky for us, Steve went away for a while.
The police tracked him down in New Orleans.
Steve sent Tom an email; Tom was happy to hear from him.
Tom learned that Steve will stay in New Orleans to start a new lifeThen Steve secretly came back to LA.
Few days later, I ended his life for one and for all.
I clobbered him with a shovel, then I used an axe.
I buried him throughout the woods.
To this day, as long his friends think Steve is somewhere else, I got away with MURDER!

Gayly Forward

Silly

Gayly Forward
By Kazz Falcon

I got the "gayly forward" from my gay friend, Chris, in Dallas in the early 1990's.
After church one night, Chris was kind enough to take me home in his car.
HE doesn't know where I lived. So, I gave him directions to my place.
Halfway there, Chris wondered out loud of where we was going.
I mentioned, "Don't worry. We are in the right direction. Go straight!"
Chris said, "We can't go straight."
I just freaked out big time. I didn't noticed the road was being work on. There was no signs at all.
I didn't saw car troubles or an car accident, nothing out of the ordinary. I thought he was mistaken.
I tried to "straightened him out."
"Just go straight, don't turn right or left, just straight," I said.
Boy, he told me a whopper!
Chris said, "We can't go straight, dear! There was no way possible to go straight."
I got confused and lost even more. Hey, I thought I was giving him the RIGHT DIRECTIONS to my place!
I hoped I didn't send him down the wrong street!
"Hello, I know what I am talking about. I do live in the area. I know which way to go! We must go straight."
Chris revealed his gay joke, "We just can't go straight. We need to go GAYLY FORWARD!"
At first, it didn't dawn on me. He explained it once more. I finally got the joke.
We both laughed. Chris really had me going! It made me to freak out about "GOING STRAIGHT"

spiritalien at 10:58:00 PM PST

This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own)
wow hysterically funny.Comment from anhinga69 - 2/2/04 5:54 PM

7/11

Loopy

This afternoon, I just came back from Lucy's with my money order for the rent. I was planning to stop by 7/11 on the way home, but i changed my mind. I was too playing tetris on my gameboy.

I walked up to my place on the hill; i turned around.....my friend was right behind me going to my place! I was happy to see him. I mentioned someone was following me. I learned Mike was at 7/11. LOL

Damn, 7/11! I should have went with my gut! we could walk to my place together from 7/11. that was very odd.

Queen Resident

Silly

Queens resident here

this queen doesn't live there.

I lived in Hollyweird, the land of the freaks!

I have my own castle called Queendom!

ROFL

Michael Brown

Silly

"How come you changed your nic from spiritalien? No problem, I was just wondering." - Michael Brown

The alien was needed back on his home planet.

The alien left his favourite pussy behind to keep an eye on things while the alien is taking care of some business.

Do u use CONDOMS?

Chillin'

I hardly uses any condoms.

I HATE THE FEEL OF THEM!

I do have the disease

I still won't use ANY CONDOMS at all.

American Idol

Happy

American Idol

Tuesday/Wednesday - January 27/28 are AUDITIONS shows at 8 PM on FOX

Then, the next week.......

February 3, 2004, Tuesday at 8 PM is "Nearly 120 performers arrive in Hollywood for grueling rehearsals and auditions."

February 4, 2004, Wednesday at 8:30 PM is "In Hollywood, 32 semifinalists make the cut."

Sweetie, Darling!

Worried

I have a "Sweetheart" problem!

No, we are not lovers!

Over in another forum, I mentioned SWEETHEART to a person I know since February 2003.
she got pretty upset by that.

She mentioned "the term sweetheart could be considered a form of sexual harassment."

how can it be sexual harassment when Sweetheart came from a gay man like myself?

lots of homosexuals say, sweetheart, babe, darling and others to their friends and everyone else.

it doesn't make any sense to me!


This entry has 1 comments

sweetheart can't be consiedered a form of sexual harassment simply because it lacks any physical connotation. Although an organ of the human body, it does not posess any specific characteristic in which one can percieve indentification. Such as sweetlegs, sweetboobs, or sexy_____ for that matter.

Comment from booyaaa808 - 2/19/04 5:46 AM

Days Of Our Lives

Surprised

The new issue of Soap Opera Digest revealed the serial killer as Marlena Evans Black (Deidre Hall).

Be sure to watch Days Of Our Lives this Wednesday, January 28, 2004 on NBC.

The TV audience, not the characters, will know the serial killer on that day.

If you lived in Canada, you guys will be so lucky - u will know on Tuesday! Canada is a day ahead of USA!

Hello, Sweethearts!

Happy

"I suggest you do not call me sweetheart, because I am most certainly not your sweetheart." - Bow down to the Spoiler Queen!!! (LOLLYY)

Damn, Lollyy gave me an NASTY attitude for being friendly.

I really did nothing wrong at all. I was being friendly.

Of course, I replied to her HATEFUL post.......


"look, sweetheart!

do not tell me what to do.

i was being FRIENDLY!

there is nothing wrong being friendly with everyone!

top it all, it is such a honor to be call a SWEETHEART by anyone!!

next thing, u will say to everyone, "Do not WAVE at me!"

waving at someone is friendly as much as saying sweetheart!"


that was a good response to her......then I put her on ignore.

Yeah, i put called her a sweetheart again! lol

Well, since she is not a sweetheart, she is a SOURHEART!

Sourheart fits her to the tee!

It is too bad we don't live in the same city. If we did, I won't wave at her.

I will FLIP HER OFF! rofl


"it's a nice term of endearment" - Jermahon

thanx for that comment. I agreed with my other friend 100%! I called everyone sweetheart
many times in the forums before and I won't stop now!

it is just me!

my gay best friend in Dallas always say that to me all the time. It just rub on me. Thanx to Kevin, i say it now.

Why? It is a nice gesture on my behalf.

also, I say BABE all the time too or MISS THING!!

Sweetheart, Babe, Miss Thing are just POSITIVE words!

In her case, she will be known as SOURHEART! hehe

Full Fledge STALKER!

Silly

Brian and I went to the bus stop in Burbank. This one NUTTY lady claimed I was stalking her.

Damn! I just got there from IKEA.

She demanded me to leave. I flat out refused. Do you know what I did? I screamed out loud, "This is a free country! No, I am not a stalker!" I mentioned to Brian that she is CRAZY! I used the middle finger too. I called her worse names! Oops.....I was such a lowlife with her. You could see me now! LOL

Brian was nowhere in sight. He didn't want to get involved with THIS STALKER! He stood behind the bus stop wall till things calm down.

She moved to the next seat. I flipped her off again, "BYE!!" Brian finally joined me on the bench. We kidded about the lady.

That wasn't the last of it. We caught the same bus. I wanted so much to stay behind her on the bus for more STALKING. We sat at the back. She stood in front of the bus near the bus driver. Curses her! I can't stalk her any more.

We contunied to kid on the bus about that nutty lady. The bus let her off. I got a funny ideal. I should have help her if you know what I mean.

She needed help with her bags. I will have help her too, more like STALKING! But, I know what will happen. She screamed, "Get away from me, you stalker! Get away from me!" I know I will throw her stuff out of the door and flip her off again! ROFL

Here is another FUNNY THING. After one night with that lady, I held the World Record for being a real life stalker in a short time.

Ooooohhhhh, I became a damn stalker in ten minutes! LOL

You better watch out for this stalker!

1/4/04 Sunday

Happy

It was time for the bank once again. I was low with money! I took bus #2 to the bank. It was about time I got more money to SPEND! I can't afford to go shopping every week. I was POOR WHITE TRASH! I was just an average slutty cheap whore!

I went to the bus stop on Sunset/Vermount. I didn't want to go home at all. It was about 1PM. I want to enjoy my day. The new Borders bookstore was a good way to spend the day. It opened few weeks ago. I caught the bus and called Brian again. He called me back, "get some ideals at IKEA for his place." Well, there goes the bookstore! Wah, wah!

Brian buzzed the gate; I walked up the stairs. Brian hurried out of the door, "Peter is not going; depressed about money." We walked to the bus stop; I revealed that my computer was fixed few days ago. I mentioned that I need to get out behind the computer and go out more. We waited for the bus on Gower/SM.

Brian wondered why I hid the HIV status from my ex lover. The truth - I just wanted to be love; no one wants to love an HIV + person. Also, I wasn't the only who does it. I met Miguel Garcia at a bath house; we never had safe sex. Top it all, I won't get in trouble for the attempted murder. Miguel will lie to his family; "No, I don't have it."

We went online at my place. We got the bus schedule for IKEA. I was convinced that IKEA was on Hollywood Blvd. He checked IKEA web site; nope! We waited for the 603 bus. Brian brought up Pier One; Damn, that was the place I was thinking of! I was wrong; I ole him a dinner! We made a bet at my place. We got off Chevy Chase/San Fernando. We were both freezing. The bus came 30 minutes later.

We looked around IKEA. He got some good ideals for his place. Some day, he will fix up his place. He don't have the money right now. School takes up most of his time. I like the new colorful snake they had. I was thisclose of buying one and that bear again! I gave my old Bear to Miguel's niece two years ago. Right now, I would wait for the stuff toys. Brian wasn't feeling well; he was too hot from all the walking. He grabbed a snack at the food counter. I played Tetris all the way to the bus stop......Suddenly, I became a FULL FLEDGE STALKER!

1/3/04 Saturday

Happy

Peter called me about Today's plans. I need to pick up my mail, but I could do it on Monday. He wanted to come over to the village for a while. It should be an hour - TOPS! I called him back, "go ahead without me; I can meet u there." There was no sense of going to their place and catch the darn bus again! I took the bus #2 come. I won't wait for bus #4.......only the first bus.

I got off Highland/Sunset and walked to the Village. I didn't rush; I just took my sweet ass time. I took my usual route. I entered the Cyber Center. Peter was on the first computer. I playfully put my hand on his head to get his attention. I signed in with the lady. She put me at #4 by Brian. Brian mentioned they got there 10 minutes ago.

I didn't have that much fun online; it was so freaking boring! Brian's time was up; I went out with him. I was bored of the place. Peter stayed on pass his time. We just waited in the lobby for him. I used the restroom. I brought out Olga's letter; Brian thought it was good. At least, they will know about Miguel and I. I sealed the letter in the envelope and put it in the backpack.

We got the mail; I mailed Olga's letter. I realized I forgot the blue one at home. I will go to the bank tomorrow. The library was such a bored; I played Tetris. Brian wanted to leave. 30 more minutes to go on the web. I didn't want him to miss his chance. Peter and I looked at a QUEER book; i really like that book. The Michael Alig article got my attention; Brian read it. Peter went online again and I thought I was bad! lol

Peter invited me to watch the movies at their place; no thanx! I just want to go home; it was too damn cold! On the bus, Peter asked "Are u going home." I looked back, "YES!!" They didn't say goodbye; my mind was on Tetris! I arrived home, freezing! I turned on the heater and that was about it!

Happy New Year 2004!!!

Happy

Happy New Year 2004!!!

Kurt Nilsen

Happy

Norway's Kurt Nilsen is the FIRST WORLD IDOL; the underdog beated the other countries IDOL from USA's Kelly Clarkson to UK's Will Young to Canada's Ryan Malcolm to Belguim's Peter Evrard.....

Kurt won maximum points from nine of the 11 countries that voted in the contest for his rendition of the U2 track "Beautiful Day." Kelly Clarkson was second.

I wanted Will Young to win; he was in fifth place. We can't vote for our own idol; everyone must vote for someone else.

It was truly a tight race between Kurt and Kelly; they were tied, but Kurt edged Kelly out at the end to became the World Idol!

Kurt ended up with 106 out of a maximum 112 points that were available. Kelly had 97 points.

Here's a list of how contestants in the World Idol contest finished.

1. Kurt Nilsen, Norway, 106 points.
2. Kelly Clarkson, the United States, 97.
3. Peter Evrard, Belgium, 83.
4. Heinz Winckler, South Africa, 80.
5. Will Young, Britain, 72.
6. Ryan Malcolm, Canada, 62.
7. Guy Sebastian, Australia, 56.
8. Alex, Poland, 55.
9. Alexander Klaws, Germany, 45.
9. Diana Karazon, Pan Arabia, 45.
10. Jamai Loman, Netherlands, 36.

12/27/03 Saturday

Happy

I didn't went to the movies on a RAINY Xmas, I decided Today was nice enough to go. There wasn't a raindrop in sight! Lord Of The Rings starts at 12:45 PM at the Vista. I didn't want to go alone. I called Brian; he had other plans - go to the post office, The Village and take the movies back to library with Peter.

I didn't mentioned the movies at all. He invited me to tag along with them. Peter wasn't sick from the flu; food poisoning from something. I got dressed; short sleeves and baggy pants. I called them back on the bus 4, "on my way." I walked down to their place on Gower. I dailed the code; i had trouble a few times. Brian let me in. I didn't waste any time with the movies, "Can Peter go to the library and the post office some other time." He could, but he really want to. They decided on the movies with me at 12:45 PM.

Peter made breakfast - eggs & grits - for them. I jumped in the bed and played Tetris. Peter took a shower. Brian/I talked - we can go to the movies tomorrow. I don't want them to change their Today's plans. They don't mind at all. Brian gave me a LACC pamplet; I should take some classes. Peter came out of the shower; talked to Brian in private, "let's go to the movies tomorrow." Brian told him that I suggested the same thing. We decided their plans.

We took bus 4 to The Village; online place was close. Bus 4 took us to the post office. Peter/I both wondered where our box was. We both wanted each other to show out box first. Peter got me in the corner, pretended to kiss me. I cried, RAPE! I showed him my box, then he showed his. He got xmas cards. I got Nintendo Power! Next time, the library for a few hours.

Brian went online. Peter checked out The Sopranos and a Bob Hope movie. Peter then went online. I read the hollywood trade and LA Times. After a while, I was so bored! Damn, I wanted to leave so badly. Brian noticed I was BORED. He found some intern from the web; he need one for a class. I played Tetris to beat the BORDEDOM! I easily got bored at the library! There is nothing to do.

They invited me over for supper. I declined, "next month's rent." I said, they can cook it at my place and spend the night. Peter brought up breakfast; I have eggs. We caught the bus; they went to Trader's Joes. From the bank, I went to Lucy's for a money order, 7/11 for Milk/bread & called Brian. I told Brian, "just stay home, I come over tomorrow for the movies." Then HOME!!

Earth Journal

Angry

I made up my mind. I might as well put Earth Journal on another Journal site. I may get rid of AOL next year. You know what will happen, my Journal and the web site will be NO MORE! I hardly chat on the web that much. Being online takes up most of my time. No, I wasn't ADDICTION to the web. I was so BORED with the web. I go online every day. There was nothing to do at all.

I used Blogger, the one I forgot I used for ScareyKATT last year. I put every single entry in the NEW Earth Journal on Blogger. It took me all day. Yes, I got extremely mad. Twice, I have to restart it. When I add an link, somehow, it messed up every entry I put in. Damn, I was very mad. I even got mad at GOD! I didn't know what I went wrong. I was at the last month, December 2003. I added a link. Same thing happened! I cursed out loud to God! I tried once more. The third time wasn't a charm.

I noticed I coud put the actual day on the journal too. Even that gave me problems. When I put in the date, it always ended up being the Today's date! I was mad!

Somehow, I fixed the damned problem! Earth Journal was up and running! I got a bright ideal. Hey, I will put the old journal on Blogger too! Same problem occurred! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

I was so tired of putting both journals on Blogger. It took me all afternoon and the evening time. I needed a break. Even my back was sore from sitting in the chair! Well, That does it for now. Just enjoy the Earth Journal while u can on AOL. U will read it on Blogger too starting today! Don't forget Old Journal too.

Laters.

Passions 12/22

Loopy

The Monday episode (12/22/03) of Passions was the best PASSIONS episode I ever saw this year.

Everyone got to find a way to get your hands on that episode!

I got my wish - The Addams Family came to Tabby's! They are their cousins! Even Boozy Boozeborne was HER cousin too!

Cousin Harry was Cousin IT! I should have known! Harry is HAIRY much like Cousin It is! U get my griff! hehe

U know that Nurse Kravitz was on LAUGH IN in the late 60's. She mentioned to the teens that she had some dreams about being on that show with Golden Hawn! That was classic!

Then later on in Tabby's kitchen with The Addams Family.....they did a Laugh In spoof! U should have seen it! ROFL

JER is very smart of doing HOMAGES! Lots of us grow up with Bewitched, The Addams Family, Phycho, Laugh In and others!

Passions is more fun with the homages!

World Idol

Happy

World Idol was on FOX at 8PM, Thursday night. Other countries's IDOLS will compete for the World Idol. Some were from Germany, Australia, Canada, Holland, South Africa, Belguim, UK, Norway and others.

So did you see World Idol? Don't forget to CLICK on the links!

There were a few CONTESTANTS I love. Will Young, whom I have been a big fan since he won the FIRST EVER Pop Idol in the UK!

Peter Evrard, Belguim, was awesome with the NIRVANA song. Really, I think he has a good chance of winning the World Idol. He did suprised everyone when he sung the Ricky Martin song. He can sing any songs.

Ryan Malcolm was pretty good, I like his singing voice.

I think Kurt Nilsen was the underdog; I also like his voice too.

Not counting your COUNTRY's IDOL, who do u want to win?

I got to pick Will Young

Rainy Xmas

Happy

A storm was on Xmas day. It was wet, rainy and cold in Los Angeles! That's too bad that the rain wasn't snow. Everyone will have a ball in the snow.

Mike showed up for Xmas; he wondered if I had some company. I pulled a fast one on him, "Yes, I do!" He thought the person was sleeping on my bed. Mike looked at me funny. I said, "I have company. You walked in the door. You are the company!"

Mike's "blond" hair is a lot better since last night. He coloured his hair at my place. He didn't thought the stuff didn't work on him. He went online to see the new movies - Cold Mountain and Big Fish sounds interesting. He invited me to see Big Fish with me at Los Feliz. I declined; I don't want to go out in the storm.

I pulled our his favourite movie, Urban Cowboy. He wanted to see that for the longest time. We stayed in and watched that movie instead. I made some jello with peaches and popcorn. We had some popcorn. After the movie, he went straight home. I went online for a little while. Mike called me; his power went out in the neighborhood. He will take a nap. I watched All In The Family on Channel 2. I had some jello.

5PM, I watched The Grinch Who Stole Xmas with Jim Carrey and Josh Evans for the first time. Nah, I didn't like the movie that much. The cartoon version was much better! I keep on thinking about the cartoon. I wanted to see it again; I haven't see the cartoon in a few years.

I watched World Idol......see the separate entry of World Idol!

Indy Blu Eyes

Loopy

Yesterday, I recieved three emails from Indyblueyes on CBS Soap Fans. kjlester13@comcast.net

The following message was sent to you by INDYBLUEYES while viewing your Member Profile:

1) Did you ever stop to think thats what Terry might have wanted?

There was no service and obituary because thats what HE wanted.....the family
was only respecting HIS wishes. Did you know that he had a heart problem?
NO...you did not........ its easier to smear smut and negativity.

2) But to put it on your website when you dont know for sure. And.....is it really any one's business? I think not!!!

3) How do you know that for sure? You shouldnt speak of anything that you do not know is to be the TRUTH !! I think this whole site of yous is SICK!!!
Reporting things you kno nothing about!!


I replied to her last email! Of course, I wished her a merry xmas! See, I am such a nice guy!

Look, MISS THING!

I don't need your NASTY ATTITUDE!

Afterall, I didn't start the AIDS rumor on the web!

What can Terry's family do to me?

Nothing at all!

Terry's family can't take me to court.

I DID NOTHING WRONG!

I will stand by what I said on my wonderful web site!

There is not a damn thing Terry's family or YOU do about!

Earth Journal

Gay Truth

Happy

The Gay Truth
by Kazz Falcon

Is being gay a sin?

We need go to back to Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 18:16 - 19:29 to UNCOVERED the real truth.

Most Christians confused it for homosexuality, but it wasn’t the case.

Did God really destroyed the cities for the gay sin?

The fact - the bible NEVER EVER said what sins they were in Genesis.

It started off with two angels arrived at Sodom; Lot met up with them and took them to his home.

The Sodom men wanted to have sex with the two men.

Lot refused them, “Do not do this wicked thing.”

Lot offered his two daughters to them, “you can do what you like to do with them.”

That verse told us the Sodom men can rape Lot's daughters at Lot's REQUEST!

The men (Angels) have come under the protection of Lot’s roof.

The Sodom men only wanted the men, not his daughters.

The two men pulled Lot into the house, then they struck the men who was at the door with blindness.

The two men told Lot to leave the city now with his family because God sent them (the angels) to destroy the city.

The angels urged Lot to leave with the coming of dawn.

Lot’s family reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land.

God destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah.

Something occurred - why did the men wanted to have sex with the two men? Because they were angels.

They so much wanted the angels to fall from grace in God’s eyes. They knew something was up with the two men.

The verses really TOLD US that having sex with the angels is unnatural! Sex is between humans, the way it should be.

Lot offered his daughters to be RAPE by the men of Sodom! Yet, most Christians claimed it was homosexuality.

How can women's rape or sex with the angels be consider to be about homosexuality?

The "Christian" publishers mistook the Genesis verses for homosexuality.

So, they added “homosexual offenders” in 1 Corinthians 6.9 in the later versions of the Today’s bible.

Throughout the visit in Sodom, they were angels all along, not men.

God never transform them into human beings for their visit.

The verses was NEVER EVER about homosexuality at all.

OUTED Terry Lester

Happy

Today, I was at another forum on yahoo. Someone had heard that people suspected Terry was gay. So the Aids thing wouldn't be out of the question.

I set them STRAIGHT! I said, "You heard right! Terry is gay! I know that as a fact. It doesn't matter to me that Terry is gay. He cruised guys at some gay clubs in LA."

Oops, I let the pussy out of the bag! Shame on me! LOL

I want to get on their case for the AIDS thing comment. AIDS is not a gay disease; anyone can get it.

For some stupid reason, AIDS is assocatied to the homosexuals.

they really need to get the STRAIGHT FACTS! hehe

Few weeks ago, I wanted to tell everyone that Terry is gay........BUT I had a sick feeling inside of me that someone will bring up the Gay/AIDS connection.

So, I was against of OUTING Terry Lester to the world!

6.5 Earthquake

Loopy

By now, u know that we was hit by a 6.5 earthquake. It wasn't that big; I was not a SCAREYKATT! I was online and watching the news. The earthquake came at 11:18 AM. I felt the rolls of the earthquake. The walls, the floor and others moved!

All the years I lived in Hollywierd, I was never been in a big earthquake till TODAY!

By now, i am so used to the earthquakes! There are more earthquakes on the way.

So, I didn't watch Y&R today; the earthquake news took over their time slot. Instead, I watch All My Children. I switched back to CBS. B&B was on with Brooke & Ridge. BARF ME OUT! I went back to All My Children! I care less about Ridge/Brooke.

12/21/03 Sunday

Chillin'

Brian called me in the morning. They can't spend the night with me; Peter came down with the flu. Peter was painting their apartment.

Brian just told me that his mother had breast cancer; both of them. He thought I knew already. She will see the doctors this week.

That does about it for Sunday. Nothing much happened!

12/20/03 Saturday

Happy

I was playing Tetris on my bed, relaxing. Mike showed up unannounced. I didn't want to let him in. I heard the knob turning. Suprised, he had the key with him for the first time. I had no choice except to let him in. I lied - I was sleeping. He wondered if he should bring the turkey, not really. I don't like turkey that much. I haven't tell him about my other xmas plans; I may spend it with Robert for dinner or go to the movies.

I better clean the filthy restroom. He want to buy his diet coke at 7/11. I gave Mike a dollar for coke. He vanished for a few mintues. I cleaned the restroom. He brought back the cokes and went straight to the computer. He wanted to watched Evita with Madonna. I mentioned to put it in. I finished up the spotless restroom. Evita wasn't playing. I put the tape in; we watched the movie. He sent a email to his old teacher.

Mike said he was hungry; I wanted to make fish. He claimed it was fattening! He wanted tuna instead; I got angry. He always have Tuna at my place. We had Tuna Helper on Tuesday. He begged; he promised he will pay me back. Mike claimed he was broke. He said he spend about $40 almost every day. Damn, he wasn't broke. I was broke no less! I only had $2 on me.

He persauded me for Tuna! I will make it after I took a shower; Nasty, I skunk up the place! hehe. He used the restroom without closing the door; the heat escapes. I got mad. Hey, I need that heat! I waited another hour to take a shower. Mike was hungry. He wanted to eat NOW! Hello, I wanted the shower first! Mike begged. He took two tuna cans; I said, "me too!" He wanted to use FOUR tuna! Hell, no! We don't need four! I grabbed some eggs. He put some water in the pan. I mentioned we don't heed water; three boiled eggs. He still think the tuna wasn't enough for the both of us. Hey, green beans or corn! He picked the green beans.

I jumped in the shower; the radio blasted! I got out. HE already eaten; he thought he had more than me. Nope, the food was right! I added more green beans to the tuna. Mike laughed about David/Liza - David didn't know how strong Liza can be when drunk! ROFL. He laid in the bed; watched Entertainment Tonight for a while. He said, he may go dancing tonight. He can't go the ZONE; he was broke. Tomorrow, The Zone sounds fagulous. $2 at 2, $3 at 3, $4 at 4 and so forth on Sundays. I bet Sundays is lots of fun.

Depression

Sad

"Nothing wrong with taking some time off from the forum to get your creative juices going. I hope you'll find that motivation you're searching for.....& sooner rather than later. Good luck!"

It is just not the forums, it is just life itself. i am tired of wasting my time doing nothing. There is more out there for me. I need to look for it, but where?

it is really driving me up on the boredom wall. if i don't find anything soon with my life, i may i will end up doing something stupid.


"Don't you DARE do something stupid!"

Trust me I have been doing something stupid lately;I haven't get caught yet. I may not go to great lengths as Amy Fisher and other seedy people, but somehow, I will get notice at any cost!

Desperate times call for desperate measures


"The answers you're looking for are out there somewhere, so just keep searching for them."

I gave up the search long time ago.


"Don't give up on yourself or doubt your self worth."

it doesn't matter anymore. I had nothing to be motivated.


"You have something to offer the world, everyone does if they look hard enough."

yet, the world ignores me! Top it all, no one takes me serious at all.


"Try to decide what your greatest strengths are & then look for a way to market those so that you can get some satisfaction from what you're doing."

No one is willing to give me a chance or a break.


"WE HAVE FAITH IN YOU, ALIEN.....never forget that!"

as long as someone have been on SSI, u will get bored quickly.

It is not the life I want any more!

I might be depressed, but I hides it pretty well from everyone! I don't think seeing a shrink will do me anything good. Some people is like that with shrinks. It didn't work before


"One thing I do know, & that's that deliberately checking out is NEVER the best answer!"

I never mention Suicide at all. How can I commit suicide when I am ALREADY DEAD?

I really don't have a life at all. A life is doing something with your life. I don't have that life, just a boring nothing to do life.

$85.97 Cable Bill

Angry

$85.97 Cable Bill
By Kazz Falcon

I got rid of cable about a month ago.
I have cable tv for three months!
They never give me a cable box.
I only got FOUR cable channels.
Yesterday, I got the cable bill, $85.97.
All this time, I have not PAY MY BILL yet!
The cable cost $21.99 monthly.
I signed up for the special rate.
Why should I pay?
I never ever got a cable box.
THEY RIPPED ME OFF!
Get this.....the late free is $10.
Sorry, Charlie, I won't pay it at all.
DO you know what?
If the cable company DEMANDED MONEY from me,
I will take them to COURT!

Michael Jackson

Happy

Michael Jackson was finally charged with Child Molestion. He committed seven "lewd acts" against a boy under the age of 14 earlier this year. He could go to prison for more than 20 years if found guilty at a trial.

Tom Sneddon agreed to delay Jackson's arraignment a week to Jan. 16 and return Jackson's passport to allow him to travel to Britain from Dec. 20 to Jan. 6. Hello, is The D.A. stupid? He gave Michael a chance not to return to the country! That was a dumb move on the D.A.'s part!

Ten months ago, the boy appeared on national television in a British documentary holding hands with Jackson, who said the two had slept in the same bedroom but not the same bed. Jackson defended his penchant for holding sleepovers with children, describing the practice as sweet and innocent.

There is another thing I don't get. Millions of people saw the British documentary on ABC. Since the arrest of Michael Jackson last month, the boy's face is now COVERED UP from the same documentary! Hmm, why? That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I know the press can't reveal his name. Yet, everyone know his face and, assuming, his name too.


Side Note - Victor Newman was arrested for illegal business; two great powerful men was charged on the same day!

12/18/03 Thursday

Frustrated

Once again, the damn ants came back strong! I tried to track them down. I thought they came behind the computer again. So, I pulled the desk from the wall; put salt by the wall. I noticed that ant came from under the desk, not THE WALL! Drats! The ants always find another way to get the food for their queen! I got the flashlight. I follow the trail to the bed; they were coming under the bed! Damn, those ants!

Well, my place was a big mess. I cleaned my place. I lost the anttrail; I will set a trap tonight to finish off the trail for good! I chatted with Ray online for a while. We haven't talk in a few weeks. I told him I may get a pussy; he claimed I better get a dog instead. Yeah, he might be right. I need to go out more. I hardly go out anymore. Hmm, I wondered why!

I put off cleaning a few times. I was done by the evening time. I need to clear the stuff under the bed. Then I will know for sure of where the ant trail leads to. I used the flashlight by my bed. I couldn't see any ants by the wall. Well, By tomorrow, I will know! Hopefully, I won't have any more ant problems! Then again, I had that pesky problem over a year. Wait till the next resident move in! He will have the same ant problem like me! I won't even tell any of them.

I set the ant trap on the computer desk. For some odd reason, Tang attracts them! That's how I tracked down the trail the last time by accident; lots of ants wants a taste of Tang! I firgured I defeated the ants. My God! They kept on coming back to pester me! How many rounds I have to go with the ants? I believed this is about round 15; it must be more than that! I won't be defeated by them!

My place was spotless now! Clean and spotless! Tomorrow may be another story! The battle with the damn ants continues......

12/17/03 Wednesday

Happy

Nothing big happens like always! My life does sux big time. Why can't my life be like The Simple Life?

I picked up my mail, just junk mail! I hardly pick up my mail that much. I mostly get my mail at home now. I may send my magazines back to the post office earlier next year. I called Robert at the bus stop. Sean and him have the flu. Taylor was mean to him the other week; Robert forgot to wish him a Happy Birthday last month. Damn, Taylor, you need to lay off him! Robert mentioned that he can't remember all his friend's birthday. That's true. Robert didn't call me on my birthday like Taylor. I wasn't even hard on Robert!

Robert wanted to see his mother for xmas; right now, he is very sick. So, he might cook xmas dinner for us. If he don't, I may go to the movies, Lord Of The Rings or party with Mike at my place. I told Robert that I may get a pussy next year. I can't go on living like this. I was so lonely, I need some company! He will help me to find one; he will get the pussy his shots too. He said I could try the newpapers.

I got home and watched my soaps. This week, I watching All My Children once again. It was good to see Erica Kane and everyone else! Whenever I am home, I will tape AMC and watch Y&R/B&B. I should have done that long time ago.

Evening, Brian called me during The OC. He needs to send an email - URGENT! Brian/Peter came over. I opened the front gate and thank them for the xmas card I got today. Brian checked the email; Brian and I watched TV. I boiled some eggs for a Tuna sandwich. Brian realized he can't copy the email. The copier wasn't working. I was too busy cooking to help him out.

It was getting late for them by 11 PM. I just finished the Tunafish; I didn't want them to leave yet; I made the tunafish just for them. I didn't want lots of leftovers. Of course, I was hungry too. They ate two sandwich and drank koolaid. I ate one and save the rest for tomorrow's lunch. Then they was off their way. They may come stay with me for the weekend!

Terry Lester's AIDS death

Sad

Original Jack Abbott - dead!
The Genoa City News has confirmed that Terry Lester (the original Jack Abbott) is dead at the age of 53. While rumored to have died late last month from AIDS, no official cause of death was given.

Abbott is seen in this 1984 photo with Lindsey Wells (right) and Carole Robbins. Wells took sexual photos of Jack with his step mother, Jill Abbott, and tried to blackmail him. Robbins was a loyal Jabot employee.

An news article from Y&R News.


Well, I am not suprised about Terry dying from AIDS! I mentioned few days ago that he died from HIV related death.

I truly believed I was the first one who brought up HIV! I just hope that no one will make a BIG DEAL about his AIDS death. He belonged where he should be now - In Heaven, looking down to his family and fans!

I know he did NOT get HIV from needles. He couldn't be a druggie. It must have to do with sex.

Heather Tom

Happy

Today, Heather Tom debuted in her Kelly Cramer role on ABC's One Life To Live. She was impression; she can back up her talent big time!

I was expecting more of Heather Tom on Today's show. From what I seen with Kelly and the previous Kelly, Heather Tom pulled it off! I felt like Heather was more Kelly than Tracy Melchior ever was this past six months.

I think I started to watch OLTL once again! I wished I didn't stop watching few months ago. I am familiar with most characters, than the storylines!

Tracy was the reason I stop watching OLTL. Her Kelly didn't do anything for me. I couldn't see Tracy as Kelly!

Tracy was better off on Bold & Beautiful. Then again, B&B wasted her talents on that soap. I really like Tracy on Sunset Beach!

Heather Tom is my Kelly as much as she was my VICKY NEWMAN! She was on Y&R from 1991 -2003; she did one hell of a job! Lots of fans were pretty upset that Y&R let her go.

Heather tried her luck in NYC for soaps and theater. She also tried out for The View co host job on October 30/31. The View job went to Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who finished fourth on Survivor: The Australian Outback, on my 34th Birthday.

Days Of Our Lives

Happy

LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS...: In an unprecedented deal, ABC-owned SoapNet has acquired rerun rights to NBC's Days of Our Lives. Beginning March 15, same-day Days repeats will air weeknights at 7 pm/ET, leading into SoapNet's block of ABC dramas. Maybe this will finally pave the way for the network to acquire Santa Barbara, the best daytime drama in suds history! - from TV GUIDE!!!!


Days on SoapNET will start on March 15, 2004, MacDonald Carey's birthday! Mac was an original cast member; he played Tom Horton on Days since day one. He died from lung cancer on March 21, 1994 in Beverly Hills.

Days Of Our Lives is on NBC at 1 PM every weekdays. Check your local listings.

Matthew Ashford

Happy

Today, Matthew Ashford, debuted in his recurring Dr. Stephan Haven role on ABC's One Life To Live. He was on OLTL once before as Drew Ralston (1982/83).

He was well known for Days Of Our Lives as Jack Deveruax, from 1987 - 1993 and 2001 - 2003. James E Reiley fired him both times from Days, just like Thaao Penghlis (Tony DiMera).

This year, Matthew's soap journey is a strange "killer" one! He went from one serial killer on Days to another one on OLTL! Jack was killed by the Salem Serial Killer on October 27, 2003. Dr. Stephan Haven will help profile -- and possibly track down -- the so-called Music Box Killer on OLTL.

I didn't know Matthew started OLTL today. I thought he was already on for a while.

Whitney Houston

Mischievous

Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston

Over the weekend, Bobby hit the left side of Whitney's face with an open right hand during a fight. He didn't stay around; he fled to LA on a airplane!

He looked guilty by the minute. Whitney has cut upper lip and bruised cheek. Bobby just turned himself into the police for domestic abuse.


If Whitney doesn't leave Bobby this time, she is the most stupid person on earth. She doesn't need Bobby in her life or the kids' lifes either!

We know that Bobby is abusive & voilent. For God's sake, just leave and don't ever take him back, Whitney.

Your kids really depends on the mommy. You could do it as long as you walk away from Bobby. Don't let him sweet talk of taking him back. It wasn't good for you or the kids.

Your kids' safety comes first, just like yours! Whitney, if you don't leave, it could get lots worse the next time around for everyone involved.

I believed this WASN'T the first time that Bobby hit Whitney!

12/10/03 Wednesday

Mischievous

I took a shower after some Joe. I watched Rudoph. Last night, I like the new Peanuts xmas special. I laughed throughout the special. Rerun threw his shoe at the dog on the bike ride! He is one smart funny kid. "I keep on losing shoes." Rerun trying to get Lucy to tell him his one line, but she threatened to beat him up!

I noticed the sun was out. I pondered about Smart & Final. I didn't want to go out in the rain, but I took a chance to S&F. I brought Tang, kool aid and a flashlight. I really need another flashlight; my small one wasn't working that good. I was about to get the flashlight at S&F yesterday.

I watched the last 20 minutes of AMC. Babe talked to Stuart on the floor; Adam wasn't too pleased seeing her there, then JR walked in. Brooke/Jamie had a falling out about Babe/the baby. Tomorrow should be EXPLOSIVE - a bomb went off on Bianca/Kendell. Kendell walked on Ryan/Greenlee; she wants Ryan back.

I watched OLTL to get me up to speed. Walker wanted to see Blair at Dorian's, but Dorian lied that she wasn't there. The other day, Blair just found out that Walker is Todd. Blair finally talk to Walker at his place; Walker overheard Blair talking on the phone to Kevin about supper. Blair lied to Walker, "I have a supper date with Dorian." Walker went upstairs; Blair locked the door, "let the games begins."

I fell asleep during Ellen; Tom Cruise was a guest. I watched the soaps on tape. I had steak/green beans. I watched Billboard Music awards, then the last hour of Trisha/Ryan's wedding; their wedding was beauitful. At the reception, Ryan turned a poem into a song, sung by a country singer! I fell in love with the song! I want that song!

11:45 PM, Victor stopped by for some quarters. We talked about the cable. He oles the cable over $90. I told him not to pay for it; we never recieved a cable box. He only got two channels; I had about 5. I noticed he had a goat tee, very nice.

Terry Lester

Sad

Tonight, I just learned that Terry Lester died at age 53. Terry was a famous soap actor on Young & Restless (Jack Abbot), Santa Barbara (Mason Capwell) and As The World Turns ( Royce Keller).

Wow, the news is WILDFIRE on the web!

So far, I haven't came across any NEWS ARTICLES about his death. I haven't check SOD web site yet. I may go there tomorrow. By then, some soaps sites will have the article!

Damn! I can't believe it that he died! Terry Lester was my FIRST JACK ABBOTT for me. I still remembered him on Y&R.

Maybe, he died HIV related death. Just don't qoute me! It is just a thought. I strongely suspected that. I believed he didn't got it from needles.


Few years ago, my gay friend, Paul, met him at a club in LA. Terry had a goatee and looked different. Paul knew he was Jack Abbott on Y&R.

Terry was cruising some men at the club last year.


This entry has 1 comments (Add your own)

Are you doing his ghost any good by telling the world this guy went to a sex club. Shameful if this is the best you can come up with.

Comment from milehigh65 - 12/10/03 3:43 AM

My pic

Silly

This nice friendly ALIEN will take u to my pic.

This will be the only time I will let you to see me in my human flesh!

I can't hardly wait to be a real alien for the world to see.

For the time being; I must remained human to find my way home to the mothership.

12/9/03 Tuesday

Happy

I woke up at 8AM. I stayed in bed for 30 more minutes. I just want to relax. I got up at 8:30. I got dressed. I went online for a short time. Once again, I headed out to Smart & Final for more Kool Aid, Lemonade and butter. This was about my 7th time in a week! I caught 156 to Vermount and jumped on 4 in front of me. Bus 4, I need to walked up the steps. I normally wait for the non step bus; it is easier to take the groceries on the bus.

I forgot the pull the cord at my stop. I got off at the next bus stop. I went to 7/11 for milk, then I went home. Jerry Springer was on; once again, I find it interesting to watch. I noticed that they let the audience STIPPED for New Orleans necklaces. You know? In New Orleans, you will get a necklace for showing your private part in front of the public. I never did that before, except the bath house few years ago! Yes, I was a big tramp back then! lol

During one segment, the audience danced on the stage to Hillbilly music; things went back to normal! Forget that! What is normal on Jerry Springer show? It is just sleaze all year long. The topic was love triangles - one lady want to take her cousin's hubby from her. The lady's boyfriend didn't like that; she don't want another kid - she wants a MAN! Ohhh, la la! I may watch it again tomorrow if there's nothing good on!

I watched my soaps till I went to Smart & Final for the upteeth time! I just got chips and eggs. Then I went home, relax, watched Passions on tape, my regular shows and such. The ants got worse on the computer desk; the trail went to my empty cup, which I had TANG! I got my small flashlight; I wished I got a big one at Smart 7 Final - there was a nice size. The small one wasn't working right. I fixed it thou, I twisted the top till the light came on.

I found the beginning of the trail; under the carpet by the wall next to the computer. Yes, I got on all fours......hee haw....hee haw.....and put salt to end the trail! A while passed, the ants seemed to be gone! It was about time too. The ants have been on the desk over a month. I tried to find the trail, but couldn't. This time, I was successful!

12/7/03 Sunday

Happy

This morning - I left a message on the Brian's machine, "I can't make it tonight for Peter's concert." He picked up the phone. I explained my friend will take me out to supper tonight. Brian came over to use the computer again; he need to send more homework to his teacher in the email. If he knew he will have the same teacher for two classes, he wouldn't take another class with her. She gives too much homework to her students.

Brian searched for a white shirt on the web for Peter; he needed one for the concert. Brian sent a text message to Peter. I played Yoshie and watched I Love Lucy. Peter returned one to Brian, "I got one at Macy's." Peter asked Brian, "What kind of flake I am?" I told Brian to say "Lucky flake!" in the text message. Peter sent one back, "Kazz is funny that he should work on 4rd street." Then, I am a lucky funny flake! ROFL

I wanted to cancel the supper with my friend; I should go to show him some support. I was about to put on nice clothes, but I haven't spend any time with the other friend. Brian wondered if it was Miguel. Hell, no! Miguel was done with me after I failed him last month; I didn't bring him any money to Hollywood/Highland. Who was the mystery date? Hmm, I will say one thing - my lips are sealed! I won't gossip about my personal life! hehe

12/6/03 Saturday

Mischievous

Today turned out to be a pretty good day for me. I woke up early; I was so tired of that. I just want to sleep late. I went online for a while. I checked the TV Guide; there was nothing interest on Saturday Morning TV. It wasn't the same anymore. In my youth, I looked forward to watch Saturday Morning TV every week. Now, it just suxs.

I checked my phone message. Brian called me one hour ago; he need to use my computer. Homework was dued today. Everything in Santa Monica was closed. I was the next best thing for him. I am such a nice guy! I called him back; "come now, I will be waiting all day."

I watched Great Heroes Of The Bible on TBN. It was about Joseph and his brothers. They were so jealous of his relationship with their father that he was sold into slavery. I missed last week's. Adam & Eve episode was about two weeks ago. It was a good thing I caught the beginning of Adam & Eve. Great Heroes was the only worthwhile show to watch on Saturday mornings. In my youth, I was never big on Christian shows except for David & his dog on Sunday mornings. I forgot the name of his dog. It have been years I saw that show.

Brian came alone; Peter was in class. We felt relieved we had some time alone with each other. Every other time, they are always together at my place. I showed him Kelly's pic; he doesn't even recognised him either. We both wondered who Kely could be. We have no ideal. Even, Peter wouldn't know; he didn't last long at The Foundation House. Brian really like my email to Kelly; it was straight to the point.

Brian did his homework; I finished watching Great Heroes, then I turned off the TV. He need some peace and quite. I gave him some Tang. I played Yoshi. He finished by 2:30 PM. He relaxed and talked. We checked airline tickets to London; most prices was outragous! I can't even afford it.

4PM, It was time for Brian to meet Peter in Santa Monica; they want to see thexmas lights on 3rd street. I tagged along till Western. We caught 304. I got Kool Aid/lemonade at Smart & Final. Then, I brought bread at 7/11. I got home after 5 PM.

Child Molester

Worried

Child Molester
By Kazz Falcon
Dedicated to Michael Jackson

The needed less fortunate children was an easy prey
They came from a broken homes and/or sick
I brought them happiness at Netherland
They trusted me
I gained their trust
They wanted to sleep over
The parents wouldn't mind at all
I let them to sleep with me
I don't find it that strange
Afterall, I was still a kid
I had lots of toys and fun things to do
What kid wouldn't want to spend time with me?
I was a real ife Peter Pan
No one will suspect a thing from me
We became so close in the friendship
Now, I was treated like a smooth criminal
Some kids accused me of molesting them
Really, their parents just wanted money from me
Why can't the press and the police see the extortion?
Everyone was in a uproar about me
I just can't be judge for being a child molester


Copyright © 2003 Kazz Falcon

Kelly

Happy

The following message was sent to you by Kelly while viewing your Profile on DelphiForums.com:


Hey Bro,

I think I know you, we met at Foundation House if you are the boy now known as
Kazz Falcon?

KELLY


This morning, I sent the old friend an email.

Good morning, Kelly

It is a very small world afterall.

How have u been?

I saw your pic on your Delphia profile; I don't recognized u.

It have been a long time.

What year was u at the Foundation House?

Have a nice weekend.

Robert Hilger

Angry

Well, Rober Hilger, it have been a long time coming.

I decided to write the nasty lowdown about you.

You really hurt me by lying about $200 you borrowed from me six months ago.

You promised you will pay me back.

I haven't see a cent of my money since then.

We ran into each other about two months ago; u claimed u will pay me back that month!

For some strange reason, u don't want to pay me back at all either time.

Hello, u are not being a good friend.

You haven't even call me about that money either!

Some friend u turned out to be.

Why are u mistreating me?

I never did anything wrong with u.

I guess u just want to use my kindness.

That is such a shame; friends doesn't use each other!

I truly felt used by you; I was never like that to you.

All the times u need money, I was the one to SAVE your hide.

Now, u don't care a damn about me; u only care about my money.

I already know u don't want to pay me back

If u truly care about me, u would have done so long time ago.

To this day, u are avoiding me by not paying the $200 back

I just lost faith in u

Remember, u hurted me first.

12/5/03 Friday

Mischievous

Nothing exciting happened today in the boring life of Kazz Falcon. Why can't my life be like Young & Restless, my favourite soap?

Speaking of Y&R, it was pretty good. Coleen can't go to the xmas dance with JT; Tracy wanted to spend some time with her before the book tour. Jack told Nikki the truth of Victor's illegal business dealings; she couldn't accept that Victor will do such a thing. Nikki learned Jack/Phyllis's separation; it started to dawn on her. Victor came home; Nikki slapped him, "How dare u?" Michael tried to reason with Sharon, "blackmail Cameron too." Suddenly, Nick's secretary told Sharon that he wanted to see her right now.

I watched B&B; BORING!!! Brooke's doctor did the test on the baby. Ridge, Nick & Brooke will know the father of the baby in a few days. Brooke wanted the fued between Ridge/Nick to stop. Ridge still believed that Nick took advantage of Brooke when everyone assumed he was dead. Jackie & Stephanie talked about their sons; Jackie hoped the baby is Nick's, not Ridge's, then Nick will stay in town afterall to be with the woman he loves and their baby.

NBC 4 messed up; I wasn't able to watch Days or Passions. So, I went shopping at Smart & Final three days in a row. I brought more Tang and one lemonade. I put them in the bag. I caught 156 bus to Vermont/Santa Monica. I was tempted for 304, but I stayed put. I caught 4 all the way home. A asian guy asked for directions of a Sunset address. Sorry, I didn't help him. I have no ideal of the address. I could have take him home with me. Yes, I do have the web. Hopefully, something will come out of it! LOL

I watched TV, online, my unusally whore things I do! I finally recieved my Soap Opera Digest magazine. I thought Soap Opera Weekly will come together. SOW may come tomorrow or next week. The OC teens was on the front cover of Entertainment Weekly. Lots of people are into that show.

That was about the day I had. Isn't my life pretty exciting?

12/4/03, Thursday

Happy

I got up early about 6 AM. I went online for a while and ate breakfast. I left my place at 7:20; walked to the post office with the bag. Damn, I was early. They opened at 8:30. I waited over 40 minutes, playing the gameboy. The gameboy always pass up time for me. They opened the door. An old lady wanted to cut in line; I became the second person.

The guy sent me to the door for the package. I was fourth in line. They finally saw me; not Apt 4, I lived in 6th. I went to the table, put the two boxes in the bag. They wouldn't fix; I opened the boxes and put the movies in the bag. I walked outside, it was getting hot. I put my leather coat in the bag too. I walked home.

I had time to watch a movie till Y&R comes on. I put Prince Of Egypt in the VCR. I saw that movie with Grek Cole at Century City on a cold day in 1998. We both liked the movie. The splitting of the sea was an awesome force! It gave me chill, it still does to this day.

I watched Y&R; Vicki let Nick have it big time for turning on his father. Nick admitted the truth to her. Sharon talked to Victor, he mentioned that he put Nick in Charge. Phyllis told Jack about Victor's illegal dealings; She decided it was time to move on with their lifes. Her job is important to her; she was pleased with her work. Sharon ran into Cameron at Nick's office; she told Michael Baldwin about the abusive relationship. Jack called Nikki to stay put; it was time to tell her about Victor.

I watched Days for a while till I went to the Smart & Final for popcorn and Tang. I went home; caught the last half of Passions. Then, I finished watching Days. I watched The Road To El Dorado; another fabulous movie. The rest of the day, I watched TV, ate mac & chesse and about to go to bed. My day was fulfilling. Good night, guys.

12/3/03 Wednesday

Happy

Today, I wanted to go out and do something. I did nothing yesterday. I figured the movies will be here by yesterday. Boy, I was wrong. I got a email from Columbia House, stating the movies are on the way.

I watched my soaps except Passions. I waited for the 304 bus over 30 minutes! Bus 2 and 4 come lots of times. I thought I wouldn't make it time at the post office. Thanx to 304, I got my mail! I haven't been out this late in the afternoon; I usually get the mail in the morning. I missed out alot. I must adventure out in the afternoon more. Also, I haven't been out in the evening in a long time.

I caught the 304 bus to Smart & Final on Western; that place was packed! I grabbed the cart. I need to get oatmale, but I forgot the other thing! It came to me - peanut butter! I wanted to get more stuff; I didn't want to take it on the bus. So, I settle on two things. Tomorrow, I may pick up more stuff like popcorn and candy.

I took 304 straight home. I did my thing - soaps and online. The mailman left a note - YES, my movies are here! I can't wait to get from the post office. I was so excited; I ordered the movies about two weeks ago before Thanxgiving. I just finshed my deal with Columbia House! I ordered three movies at the FULL PRICE! I don't have to get any more movies from them! I may sign up for the CDs with them or BMG Music Service.

I ate two peanut butter sandwich for supper. I was that hungry. A neighbor used my microwave; he wanted to exchange movies then we will give their movie back to each other. I didn't want to. I hid my movies from him. He came back with Scoripon King. I lied, "I watched it." For the rest of the day, I watched my shows.I ate another PB sandwich!

By 10 PM, I was getting tired. It's time for bed. I need to get up early to pick up the movies from the post office. You may heard from me later on this evening. If not, good night, sweet dreams.

Pagan 22

Happy

A serious post from Pagan22 in Gay Life.

1122.8 "Y'know, someone could print out this entire discussion and save it for a rainy day. What you did, giving your partner HIV is horrible. My best friend Jason had unprotected sex just one time and he got HIV. It's already starting to turn into full blown AIDS and this MI winter might kill him. Yeah, it's that bad. And to think you knowingly did what you did makes me sick. I don't believe in heaven or hell or any of that Christian stuff, but I do believe in karma. You'll get yours someday."


This is my honest response to her......

Y'know, someone could print out this entire discussion and save it for a rainy day.

I really doubt that someone will just do that. They don't have any gain from it. There will be no point of saving it for a rainy day. I will have SUNNY days no matter what.

The passion I have is too strong NOT TO STOP! Yes, I will continue the art. I know I won't get in trouble whatsoever.


IN CLOSING, the attempted murder is something very ARTISTIC i did!

Reality NBC

Chillin'

Fear Factor was exciting last night; the stunts was awesome. The first stunt - They need to put the flags on the other boat. Two boats was speeding side by side. The first guy missed the boat and fell in the water. Later, he complained to Joe Rogan about the stunt! He was a sore loser!

The second stunt was very gross; I was glad that I wasn't eating! Most times, I will eat during Fear Factor. I am trying to stomach the stunts while I eat. Someday, I will get on Fear Factor to conquer my fears! Yeah, right! I am not that crazy! LOL. Back to the second stunt, they arrived at a wine place. They need to make "WINE" with earth worms and drink the wine grass! I won't dare to do that stunt! I will throw up right then and there. I even don't like worms!

The last stunt was much like the first stunt - side by side trucks! They need to stand beside the moving trucks to put the 11 flags on the other truck. That stunt I could do unlike the boats. I can't swim! The guy won the money and Fear wasn't a factor for him!

Average Joe put on some heavy weight! ROFL! Melena became her fat cousin to see how they will treat her "cousin." Zack was most mean spirited about her; Duff: Destinated Ugly Fat Friend. The cousin came out at the end and revealed the truth; she was indeed Melena. She mentioned some hurt her cousin.

She got rid of Zack. Good for her! Zack was a big jerk throughout the show. In the first episode, Mr Lowlife himself cracked an egg on someone's head. Since then, the men doesn't like Zack that much! Who could blame them?

Then, she say bye to one of the hunks, Michael! He was the one who first introduced himself to Melana that he wasn't a contestant and she will meet the REAL Average Joes in the first episode.

The showdown was Average Joe (Adam) versus Hunk (Jason) in a two hour final next monday night on NBC at 9 PM. I had feelings that the HUNK will get the girl! They always do!

12/1/03 Monday

Mischievous

I haven't check my mail in a while. It was about that time for the post office in West Hollywood. I took the express bus up there. Ninteno Power came and I threw away the junk mail. I still need to change of address for my friend. I don't wait his mail come to my PO box. He never seems to pick up his mail from me. The last time was few months ago. Since then, I haven't heard from him. I might as well throw his mail in the trash.

I caught the bus; pondering to go home or Sam Goody at City Walk. I got a coupon from Entertainment Weekly for $4 off a CD or DVD. I was on my way there last Saturday. I realized on the subway that I forgot the coupon. I thought I put it in my packback; it was in the other one! So, I went straight home.

I arrived at the City Walk; Damn, Sam Goody was NOT there anymore. I was looking forward to get Ultimate Dance Party, my favourtie CD. I missed that CD since I left it behind when I moved back to Hollywierd few years ago. All my CDs was in Texas which I regretted it alot. I can't believed Sam Goody wasn't at City Walk.

I wasn't ready to go home; it was still morning time. I caught the first showing of Gothika starring Robert Downey Jr and Halle Berry. I was in the wrong theater, #1. Gothika was at #5. Halle Berry was quite fagulous. I jumped out of my seats a few times. You need to see Gothika, a good thriller.

After the movie, I walked around City Walk. Wouldn't you know it? I came upon.....drum rolls place.......SAM GOODY! I was so happy I found Sam by the entrance! I walked pass Sam without knowing it. I thought Sam was no longer at City Walk. I checked out the dance CDs; nothing I like. I took the subway to Santa Monica/Vermount.

I got on the bus, noticed a long time friend. I didn't talk to him; he was with his friends Closed to my stop, he recognised me, "STEVIE!" We got off at the same stop. He wasn't a complete women yet. We have not saw each other since he got BOOBS! We caught up with each other. We parted ways at 7/11 after I gave him my number. I went home and watch my soaps!

Famous FRAUD

Silly

anyone who wants to be famous on the boards likely has an issue of being not noticed in real life.

OMG! Hey, that is so me!

Dear lord!

They figured me out!

Now, I have to try TWICE AS HARD to get noticed!

Where's to begin!

Hmm, I can go back to the attempted murder, the world's biggest drug loser, the voilent alcohlic, the lowest of the scum........

It is too hard to choose from!

I really can't make up my mind!